A Couple of Lessons about Social Media

Some of you have probably either seen the On This Day function that Facebook has, or maybe you have the TimeHop app. Both of them function in the same capacity in that they show you what happened on this day however many years ago.

I like to look back on stuff sometimes, just to remember what life was like. I've had Facebook for over 8 years, so there's a lot of memories and events on there that I may not remember. 

Unfortunately, sometimes things pop up on there that I'd rather forget. 

I've come to realize that I used to use social media as more of a journal back in the day, something that I don't think is beneficial for me now. Because of how I used it, I wrote posts or said things that now I wish weren't in cyberspace somewhere. 

I've learned in more recent years how much of an impact what we say and post on social media can have our own lives, as well as on the lives of those around us. 

So, I'd like to share a few of the important lessons I've learned, or am learning. Not only to be an encouragement to others on some things to think about, but also to remind myself of some important truths.

1. The pictures and events people post about on social media are only a snapshot of their lives. I think it's really easy for us to see all the cool things others are doing and become jealous or sad because our lives don't look the same way. I've been reading this book called For the Love by Jen Hatmaker and she talks about this very thing. It's really easy to think that we should be doing all the things that everyone else is doing. Specifically for women, we see one friend is an excellent cook, one friend is super crafty, one friend seems to have an open door policy for friends in need to come over whenever, and another friend has the cutest dressed family ever...and we feel like we need to combine all of those things in our lives...when in reality, no one women can be perfect at all of those things and be sane! It's important for us to remember that social media just shows mostly the good or fun moments in people's lives, and we aren't expected to live up to anyone else's standard. We should just be striving to do our best for God and the rest will fall into place. Let's stop being jealous or hurt from what we see and instead be encouraged to live our lives the way we've been called to live them.

2. If the things we post on social media aren't things we would say to a person's face, we probably shouldn't post them. One of the posts I came across recently that I wrote awhile back was one of those vague ones about being upset with someone without saying their name. And so, of course, others commented on it and wanted to know what was going on. The problems with these kinds of posts are many. Not only am I talking about someone without talking to them, I'm involving others in the situation that don't need to be involved. I'm also being hurtful not only to myself, but to the person I'm posting about. It also lessens my credibility and my witness to those reading it. There's a pattern set up for us in Scripture on how to deal with the people we have issues with. 

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

(Matthew 18:15-17, ESV)

Those are the words of Jesus. And by this definition, posting something vague on Facebook or even "confronting" someone directly on their wall or their post is in direct violation of the way things should be handled. If I'm willing to be so "bold" as to post something about a problem I have with someone, yet am unwilling to say those words to their face, I have no business posting anything on social media. Being a person who does not enjoy confrontation, I know how much easier it is to hide behind a screen instead of having a hard conversation with someone, but that's just not the way it should be. 

3. Posting things on social media makes it much easier for others to misunderstand where we are coming from. This applies for text and email as well. Because you can't see or hear the person's words, it's a lot easier to think someone is being serious when maybe they meant for it to have a tone of sarcasm. Or maybe they are giving you a compliment and you read it in a mean tone instead. Vocal inflections and facial gestures give us so many hints when we are speaking face to face, which is something that is completely lost behind a screen. Because of that, I try to use emoticons to express what my face would be doing in those conversations. I know it doesn't solve the problem, but it helps. Sometimes a misconstrued text will cause a face to face conversation to happen, because someone thought I was being rude when I wasn't meaning to come off that way. So while social media can be a great communication tool, it shouldn't be our only communication tool.

Maybe you've learned other lessons than these (like not sharing a political opinion unless you're willing to hear everyone else's opinions), but these are the big ones for me. I think we need to stop and think (or even pray) before we post and comment on social media. Otherwise, it may come back to bite us in the cheeks one day.

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

(Colossians 4:6, ESV)

Life is Precious

This past week has been a mix of fun and tough.

Josh and I went on a trip to our favorite place (Disneyland) last week. The night before we left, I had this horrible dream that we got in a car accident on our way down there. It made me feel a little shaky, so I spent some time praying after I woke up. Crazy thing was, on our way down there, we drove through the scene of an accident just minutes after it happened. We stopped to get gas at one point and I debated about stopping at a Starbucks as well, but decided to go ahead and stop. If we wouldn't have stopped, we could have been involved in that accident.

As we were driving through, very slowly to avoid the glass and other debris in the road, I started crying looking at the wreckage around us. One of the cars was so smashed in, I didn't even know if the driver would still be alive. There was a big pickup halfway up the center divide with a trailer attached. We saw at least six vehicles that were involved in the accident. I started praying out loud as we drove through that Jesus would protect the people involved and get them the help they needed. We found out later that thankfully no one was killed but that a few people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries.

The day after we got home from our trip, we found out that a friend of ours was killed in a car accident. Neither one of us wanted to believe it at first. It came as a complete shock and completely rocked both of us.

Today, that friend would have turned 25. We joined a lot of his loved ones in a park this afternoon to let off balloons in honor of his birthday.

Photo cred to my husband

I've been reminded this week about how short life is. And how precious it is. I let petty stuff get in the way of things too often. I get upset about little things that don't matter. I have moments where I feel entitled about things or expect that things should go my way. I often overlook the feelings of those around me because I'm too wrapped up in my own world.

So today, in this moment, I'm striving for a heart change. I want to be more mindful of those around me than of myself. I want to focus my energy more on the people around me that need it more than I do. I want to honor and cherish the people I have in my life, because I don't know how much time I will have with them.

Life is precious. Let's live each day like we really believe that.

We miss you, friend

Twenty Fifteen Part 8

This year really is flying by!

I started off the month of August with a fun day of wine tasting with my wine ladies. It was my turn to be DD, but I enjoyed being able to spend some quality time with those wonderful friends. We tried a new winery and it had some really delicious smelling wines!

The next weekend, I had a wine night with my friend L.B. We enjoyed some cheese and crackers and a cheesy old Disney movie about the Tower of Terror ride.

The following day, my mom, sister and I headed out to visit our former manager from our local Christian bookstore. She had a baby back in January and this was the first time we were able to make it work to go see her and her little man. We had a really nice visit with them. Her little guy is so happy all of the time!

A few days later, S.W. came over so we could watch the PLL "A" reveal episode. I made brownies with an "A" on them and we wore our black hoodies. While I'm still not sure how I feel about every part of the reveal, it is kind of nice to know where the story had been going all these years.

Later that week, we had some friends over for a game night. We have been trying to perfect beer cheese and we tried a different recipe that night that turned out really good!

My Bible study finished our book on Gideon. The last few of weeks of the study were really challenging for me and made me think a lot about the things I'm spending my time on in life.

Later that week, I went out dancing with some friends to celebrate two of our friends' birthdays a little early. We ate dinner at this really yummy place nearby that had this awesome butterscotch creme brulee. It was so good! And the music was great at the place we went dancing.

The next day, we went out to lunch with some of Josh's family members to celebrate his dad's birthday. Later that night, we went to a taco fundraiser for our local police department. While it was fun being with the people we went with, they ran out of food at one point, which was pretty disappointing.

The following day, we went over to Josh's parents' house to have a BBQ with his family. We spent most of the afternoon over there.

The next day, I went to a Bunco night for a friend's birthday. It was so fun to get together with that group of women again and play that game that we love so much. And I won a prize for most bunkettes!

The following day, Josh and I decided to try out a new Bible study at church about spiritual gifts. It was a really good study and we are looking forward to learning more as the weeks go on.

Later that week, I met with my friend K.N. to discuss some fun new possibilities for the future, that I will share more about next month!

That weekend, I went out to dinner with L.B. and some of her female family members. It was a fun girls night out that was much needed.

We also had a pizza and vino night with some friends. One of our friends is in the wine industry and has a lot of knowledge and expertise about wine. He shared some of his finds from around the world with us, which was really awesome!

Enjoying the nice evening breeze after our pizza and wine

And we celebrated K.W.'s birthday with some friends, which was a lot of fun. Mexican food and cake...what more could you ask for?

Other highlights from the month:
We had some other fun hang outs with friends and family, and I chatted with my BCBs about the book we read last month, which was The Thirteenth Tale.

We planned a fun trip with some of Josh's family that will be coming up in the near future! I'm really excited about it.

Things God has been teaching/showing me:
A lot. Like, the list could go on for days. A lot of it is more on the personal side, so I probably won't share all of it in this space, but I'm planning to share some of it. I've been very convicted about quite a few different things and I'm very anxious for some change and new things to happen. I think my life has been pretty stagnant for awhile now and I'm ready to take some steps to change that.

And that was August! I'm ready for fall weather (which probably won't be coming soon) and all things pumpkin!