Being an adult can be hard.
Obviously.
One thing I've learned in my 31 short years on this earth is that you really shouldn't say never about everything. Or even make fun of things you don't understand or like. Because I have eaten my words many times over these 31 years. A couple of case-in-points for you:
1. I swore to never have a Twitter account. It's true. In fact, I posted a status about it on Facebook about 6-7 years ago (I know this because it popped up on my "On This Day" not that long ago). I didn't understand why anyone would want to post nothing but status updates when you could already do that on Facebook. Oh, how naive I was...
2. I used to be the girl that posted every single thing she did throughout the day on Facebook. I make fun of those people now, but really, I used to be one of them. That good ol' "On This Day" feature has reminded me of that fact many times. I used to post things like "is doing laundry" (remember when a status was your name or your name is?) or "is tired" or "is bored". Yep, things I'm sure all of my friends were dying to know about me. I guess I shouldn't make fun of the people that still do it, since I used to be one of them.
3. I didn't understand why people used the phrase "self care" and vowed never to use it. And yet, if I look at my life, I really am a huge proponent of "self care". In fact, I took some time this evening to do just that. I found a spa station on Pandora to do some of my stretches to and it made them so much more relaxing. I read my Bible. I poured myself a glass of wine. I spent some time relaxing on the couch. I need "self care". I need alone time. Both of which are not only good for my soul and mental health, but good for my physical health as well.
I think we as humans are far too quick to think that we will never be "that person" or we would never use "that phrase" or feel "that way". But until we are in those places in life, we can't say that. I didn't understand loss until I had been through it. I didn't understand how hard marriage really was until I got married. I didn't understand why people respond in anger in their pain until I was in pain and responded in anger.
I think we need to stop saying never in certain situations. I think we need to stop being quick to judge people in hard situations. I think we need to remember that life isn't always going to go the way we anticipate and remember that it surprises us often. And I think we need to have a lot more grace for ourselves and for those around us.
Showing posts with label Truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Truth. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
A Couple of Lessons about Social Media
Some of you have probably either seen the On This Day function that Facebook has, or maybe you have the TimeHop app. Both of them function in the same capacity in that they show you what happened on this day however many years ago.
I like to look back on stuff sometimes, just to remember what life was like. I've had Facebook for over 8 years, so there's a lot of memories and events on there that I may not remember.
Unfortunately, sometimes things pop up on there that I'd rather forget.
I've come to realize that I used to use social media as more of a journal back in the day, something that I don't think is beneficial for me now. Because of how I used it, I wrote posts or said things that now I wish weren't in cyberspace somewhere.
I've learned in more recent years how much of an impact what we say and post on social media can have our own lives, as well as on the lives of those around us.
So, I'd like to share a few of the important lessons I've learned, or am learning. Not only to be an encouragement to others on some things to think about, but also to remind myself of some important truths.
1. The pictures and events people post about on social media are only a snapshot of their lives. I think it's really easy for us to see all the cool things others are doing and become jealous or sad because our lives don't look the same way. I've been reading this book called For the Love by Jen Hatmaker and she talks about this very thing. It's really easy to think that we should be doing all the things that everyone else is doing. Specifically for women, we see one friend is an excellent cook, one friend is super crafty, one friend seems to have an open door policy for friends in need to come over whenever, and another friend has the cutest dressed family ever...and we feel like we need to combine all of those things in our lives...when in reality, no one women can be perfect at all of those things and be sane! It's important for us to remember that social media just shows mostly the good or fun moments in people's lives, and we aren't expected to live up to anyone else's standard. We should just be striving to do our best for God and the rest will fall into place. Let's stop being jealous or hurt from what we see and instead be encouraged to live our lives the way we've been called to live them.
2. If the things we post on social media aren't things we would say to a person's face, we probably shouldn't post them. One of the posts I came across recently that I wrote awhile back was one of those vague ones about being upset with someone without saying their name. And so, of course, others commented on it and wanted to know what was going on. The problems with these kinds of posts are many. Not only am I talking about someone without talking to them, I'm involving others in the situation that don't need to be involved. I'm also being hurtful not only to myself, but to the person I'm posting about. It also lessens my credibility and my witness to those reading it. There's a pattern set up for us in Scripture on how to deal with the people we have issues with.
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
(Matthew 18:15-17, ESV)
Those are the words of Jesus. And by this definition, posting something vague on Facebook or even "confronting" someone directly on their wall or their post is in direct violation of the way things should be handled. If I'm willing to be so "bold" as to post something about a problem I have with someone, yet am unwilling to say those words to their face, I have no business posting anything on social media. Being a person who does not enjoy confrontation, I know how much easier it is to hide behind a screen instead of having a hard conversation with someone, but that's just not the way it should be.
3. Posting things on social media makes it much easier for others to misunderstand where we are coming from. This applies for text and email as well. Because you can't see or hear the person's words, it's a lot easier to think someone is being serious when maybe they meant for it to have a tone of sarcasm. Or maybe they are giving you a compliment and you read it in a mean tone instead. Vocal inflections and facial gestures give us so many hints when we are speaking face to face, which is something that is completely lost behind a screen. Because of that, I try to use emoticons to express what my face would be doing in those conversations. I know it doesn't solve the problem, but it helps. Sometimes a misconstrued text will cause a face to face conversation to happen, because someone thought I was being rude when I wasn't meaning to come off that way. So while social media can be a great communication tool, it shouldn't be our only communication tool.
Maybe you've learned other lessons than these (like not sharing a political opinion unless you're willing to hear everyone else's opinions), but these are the big ones for me. I think we need to stop and think (or even pray) before we post and comment on social media. Otherwise, it may come back to bite us in the cheeks one day.
"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
(Colossians 4:6, ESV)
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Approval
I was listening to a local radio station in the car on my way home from work today.
The DJ was talking about how social media sites like Facebook and Twitter cause many of us to have this huge desire to be liked or to seek other people's approval. We post statuses, pictures, quotes, and even Scripture verses, hoping to get that notification saying someone liked it or commented on it.
As I sat there listening to him talk, as well as the people who were calling in, I couldn't help but think about how serious of an issue this really can be.
I myself am guilty of this very thing. I used to post status updates all the time or cute pictures I'd taken with my friends. I wanted people to see what I wrote and comment on it. I wanted people to like the pictures I'd taken. I wanted to be liked.
The thing is, this past year, I've really shied away from a lot of that. Not because I don't still have that desire to be liked, but because I've been realizing more and more that not everything I do in life needs to be documented through social media. And, if my only reason for wanting to document it out there is to get someone's approval or make someone to like me better, it's pretty silly in the first place.
I have been learning a lot this year about being true to myself and being real with people. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not or be fake with people. I don't feel like being someone I'm not really benefits anyone in the long run. So with this whole social media thing, if my only reasoning for posting a Scripture verse is to see how many people will read it or like it, instead of posting it because I feel it's important and beneficial for other people, then it's pointless.
In John 12, even after Jesus had performed many miracles and wonders, some of the leaders still didn't want to believe in Him, because they were fearful of what the Pharisees would think.
The thing I'm trying to remember in all of this is that it doesn't really matter what people like or don't like about me. Not everyone will enjoy the same things I do or even think the same way I do. That doesn't matter. The only thing that should matter is how God sees me, and if I'm shining the light of Christ to those around me. I don't want to appear perfect or all put together, because I'm not. I don't want people to think that I have all the answers, because I don't. I want people to see that I try my best to follow Christ the best way I know how, but that I do fail and I do fall. I want people to see me for me, and take it or leave it. I don't want to be so consumed with how someone is going to react to something that I say or do. I want to be able to be myself and not worry about what someone's reaction to that may be.
Paul talks in Galatians 1 about his frustrations with how some people were trying to pervert the Gospel and make it something it was never supposed to be. In the midst of this frustration, he literally says that those who preach a gospel other than the Gospel of Christ should be under God's curse. He then says:
My hope and prayer for all of us as we get ready to enter into this new year is that we would stop focusing so much on man's approval and only worry about God's. We shouldn't treat social media like we're trying to win a popularity contest. God's opinion is the only one that should matter.
The DJ was talking about how social media sites like Facebook and Twitter cause many of us to have this huge desire to be liked or to seek other people's approval. We post statuses, pictures, quotes, and even Scripture verses, hoping to get that notification saying someone liked it or commented on it.
As I sat there listening to him talk, as well as the people who were calling in, I couldn't help but think about how serious of an issue this really can be.
I myself am guilty of this very thing. I used to post status updates all the time or cute pictures I'd taken with my friends. I wanted people to see what I wrote and comment on it. I wanted people to like the pictures I'd taken. I wanted to be liked.
The thing is, this past year, I've really shied away from a lot of that. Not because I don't still have that desire to be liked, but because I've been realizing more and more that not everything I do in life needs to be documented through social media. And, if my only reason for wanting to document it out there is to get someone's approval or make someone to like me better, it's pretty silly in the first place.
I have been learning a lot this year about being true to myself and being real with people. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not or be fake with people. I don't feel like being someone I'm not really benefits anyone in the long run. So with this whole social media thing, if my only reasoning for posting a Scripture verse is to see how many people will read it or like it, instead of posting it because I feel it's important and beneficial for other people, then it's pointless.
In John 12, even after Jesus had performed many miracles and wonders, some of the leaders still didn't want to believe in Him, because they were fearful of what the Pharisees would think.
They loved human praise more than praise from God
(vs. 43)
The thing I'm trying to remember in all of this is that it doesn't really matter what people like or don't like about me. Not everyone will enjoy the same things I do or even think the same way I do. That doesn't matter. The only thing that should matter is how God sees me, and if I'm shining the light of Christ to those around me. I don't want to appear perfect or all put together, because I'm not. I don't want people to think that I have all the answers, because I don't. I want people to see that I try my best to follow Christ the best way I know how, but that I do fail and I do fall. I want people to see me for me, and take it or leave it. I don't want to be so consumed with how someone is going to react to something that I say or do. I want to be able to be myself and not worry about what someone's reaction to that may be.
Paul talks in Galatians 1 about his frustrations with how some people were trying to pervert the Gospel and make it something it was never supposed to be. In the midst of this frustration, he literally says that those who preach a gospel other than the Gospel of Christ should be under God's curse. He then says:
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ
(vs. 10)
My hope and prayer for all of us as we get ready to enter into this new year is that we would stop focusing so much on man's approval and only worry about God's. We shouldn't treat social media like we're trying to win a popularity contest. God's opinion is the only one that should matter.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Freak Out
I started to freak out a little today about Christmas.
I went into work and realized that it was already December 4th! How the heck did that happen?
I was sitting there, eating my lunch, telling my friend how I needed to get my Christmas shopping done this week or I was going to go crazy. I told her all about my cute ideas for the gifts I'm making and all the things I need to get done.
And yet I sit here now, having finished my Advent reading for today, seriously wondering what the heck is wrong with me.
This is exactly what I didn't want to happen this year.
I really want to savor every moment this December. I want to really think, each and every day, about why we celebrate and what the purpose of this crazy time of year even is.
I was listening to the radio earlier today and this song by Brandon Heath came on. It's called The Night Before Christmas. And I seriously just sat there in my car and let it wash over me. It explains the reason Jesus came in such a beautiful way.
I don't know why I freaked out earlier. It really doesn't matter if I give people the perfect present. It really doesn't matter how much time or effort I put into the gifts I'm making. It really doesn't matter if I listen to each of my favorite Christmas songs or watch all my favorite Christmas movies this year. It really doesn't matter that half of my Christmas cards came in with some weird lines printed on them and I have to wait a week for the new ones to come.
None of it matters if I lose sight of the fact that this time of year is supposed to remind me, in such a powerful way, of what my Savior did for each of us. If my Christmas is not about Jesus, then I don't really get it. If my Christmas is more about driving around to look at pretty lights or trying to come up with a cuter way to decorate my house, I've lost the real magic of this season.
I'm not expecting perfection...and trying so hard to do Christmas right isn't going to help me stay focused, either. But in the moments that I get too caught up in the other stuff, I hope I will be able to remember that none of that really matters without Him.
I went into work and realized that it was already December 4th! How the heck did that happen?
I was sitting there, eating my lunch, telling my friend how I needed to get my Christmas shopping done this week or I was going to go crazy. I told her all about my cute ideas for the gifts I'm making and all the things I need to get done.
And yet I sit here now, having finished my Advent reading for today, seriously wondering what the heck is wrong with me.
This is exactly what I didn't want to happen this year.
(Our 2012 ornaments from my in-laws)
I really want to savor every moment this December. I want to really think, each and every day, about why we celebrate and what the purpose of this crazy time of year even is.
I was listening to the radio earlier today and this song by Brandon Heath came on. It's called The Night Before Christmas. And I seriously just sat there in my car and let it wash over me. It explains the reason Jesus came in such a beautiful way.
(We decided to use Josh's ornament as a tree topper, since we don't have one)
I don't know why I freaked out earlier. It really doesn't matter if I give people the perfect present. It really doesn't matter how much time or effort I put into the gifts I'm making. It really doesn't matter if I listen to each of my favorite Christmas songs or watch all my favorite Christmas movies this year. It really doesn't matter that half of my Christmas cards came in with some weird lines printed on them and I have to wait a week for the new ones to come.
(My cute hubby by our tree)
None of it matters if I lose sight of the fact that this time of year is supposed to remind me, in such a powerful way, of what my Savior did for each of us. If my Christmas is not about Jesus, then I don't really get it. If my Christmas is more about driving around to look at pretty lights or trying to come up with a cuter way to decorate my house, I've lost the real magic of this season.
(I am a little obsessed with bokeh)
I'm not expecting perfection...and trying so hard to do Christmas right isn't going to help me stay focused, either. But in the moments that I get too caught up in the other stuff, I hope I will be able to remember that none of that really matters without Him.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
This is the Day
I've been doing a lot of hard reflecting on Easter and what it means.
God has convicted my heart in powerful ways of things I thought were impossible...but He reminded me that with Him, everything is possible.
I woke up this morning with this song in my head and can't help but sharing it.
This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing
Just beautiful.
Remember this in the midst of your interactions with people this weekend. God is calling...are you listening?
God has convicted my heart in powerful ways of things I thought were impossible...but He reminded me that with Him, everything is possible.
I woke up this morning with this song in my head and can't help but sharing it.
This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing
Just beautiful.
Remember this in the midst of your interactions with people this weekend. God is calling...are you listening?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sharing the Truth
The husband and I had a good conversation today.
I'm not sure how it started (don't you hate when that happens? When you're talking to someone and can't remember how you got on the current subject?), but it was things I've felt on my heart for quite some time. I know there's going to come a day when God is going to call me to have a very hard conversation...and I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. But, I know that no matter how it turns out, I will be following God's leading and seeking His guidance, and that is all that should matter. I just know it's going to be hard because of the relationships involved...but I take comfort in the fact that God tells us that, "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved" (Matthew 10:22).
We've been studying Matthew at church since the beginning of December...and we just finished Matthew 10 today (we're taking it nice and slow, and soaking in all of its goodness). And, the more we read through Matthew, the more challenged I am on the way I view life. God NEVER promises us that following Him will or should be easy...in fact, He guarantees it will be hard. And yet, by following Him, we are free from the burden of our sin, guilt, shame, and condemnation. To me, the good definitely outweighs the bad. I will face opposition, persecution, and possibly the hatred of many in my life? I'm learning to be ok with that...
I guess I've just been realizing lately how foolish it is for me to keep what Jesus has done for me a secret. I've never had a lot of 'secular' friends. I suppose being home-schooled will do that to you. I've pretty much always worked with Christians, in almost every single job I've ever had. I have unsaved members of my family...but that's about it. So, I think that's why it's hard for me to think of talking about the power of Jesus to other people...because I don't come across many unchurched people in my everyday life.
And yet, when I really take a step back and look, I actually do. The baristas at Starbucks (they seem to remember me, even though I typically only stop by there once a week), the clerks at Target, the waiters/waitresses at various restaurants...I come across unsaved people all the time. And, I rarely ever mention anything to do with my relationship with Christ. Why is that?
I'm starting to realize how silly it is for me to be afraid of talking about Jesus with people I don't know. What is the worst that could happen? I may never see or have another conversation with some of these people...so why does it frighten me so much? Shouldn't I WANT to share about the amazing things I've experienced in my life because of Christ?
Sorry that one thought kind of morphed into a couple of different ones. These are just some of the things that have been on my heart lately. I have a feeling God is going to start throwing some amazing opportunities my way in the future...and I'm going to have to choose how I'm going to react to them.
I really hope I pick following Him over being nervous or afraid of the outcome...
I'm not sure how it started (don't you hate when that happens? When you're talking to someone and can't remember how you got on the current subject?), but it was things I've felt on my heart for quite some time. I know there's going to come a day when God is going to call me to have a very hard conversation...and I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. But, I know that no matter how it turns out, I will be following God's leading and seeking His guidance, and that is all that should matter. I just know it's going to be hard because of the relationships involved...but I take comfort in the fact that God tells us that, "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved" (Matthew 10:22).
We've been studying Matthew at church since the beginning of December...and we just finished Matthew 10 today (we're taking it nice and slow, and soaking in all of its goodness). And, the more we read through Matthew, the more challenged I am on the way I view life. God NEVER promises us that following Him will or should be easy...in fact, He guarantees it will be hard. And yet, by following Him, we are free from the burden of our sin, guilt, shame, and condemnation. To me, the good definitely outweighs the bad. I will face opposition, persecution, and possibly the hatred of many in my life? I'm learning to be ok with that...
I guess I've just been realizing lately how foolish it is for me to keep what Jesus has done for me a secret. I've never had a lot of 'secular' friends. I suppose being home-schooled will do that to you. I've pretty much always worked with Christians, in almost every single job I've ever had. I have unsaved members of my family...but that's about it. So, I think that's why it's hard for me to think of talking about the power of Jesus to other people...because I don't come across many unchurched people in my everyday life.
And yet, when I really take a step back and look, I actually do. The baristas at Starbucks (they seem to remember me, even though I typically only stop by there once a week), the clerks at Target, the waiters/waitresses at various restaurants...I come across unsaved people all the time. And, I rarely ever mention anything to do with my relationship with Christ. Why is that?
I'm starting to realize how silly it is for me to be afraid of talking about Jesus with people I don't know. What is the worst that could happen? I may never see or have another conversation with some of these people...so why does it frighten me so much? Shouldn't I WANT to share about the amazing things I've experienced in my life because of Christ?
Sorry that one thought kind of morphed into a couple of different ones. These are just some of the things that have been on my heart lately. I have a feeling God is going to start throwing some amazing opportunities my way in the future...and I'm going to have to choose how I'm going to react to them.
I really hope I pick following Him over being nervous or afraid of the outcome...
Monday, April 18, 2011
Words
I had a conversation this week with someone that broke my heart.
It pains me so much when people listen to hurtful words others speak to them...and believe them...when they are not true.
I think we've all been in this situation before.
I had someone in my life at one point that spoke horrible things to me. I was called horrible names and was told I wasn't worth it or good enough. I was made to feel worthless...and yet, I continued to put myself in the situation to keep hearing these words.
I think I knew deep down that they weren't true...but I did believe them for awhile. I accepted them as truth...and I started to feel very bad about myself. It's only by the amazing ways of my Savior that I was finally able to see these things were not true. He called me away from that person and called me back to Himself...where He reminded me of how beautiful and lovely He saw me...and how much He loved me.
So, when I see someone in a similar situation, it literally tears my heart in two. Because I've been there...and I know how hard it is to really believe that those things aren't true...even though you hear them over and over again. I encouraged this person to remove the harmful person from their life...so that this would not continue. It's the only way things will ever change.
I just wonder why we put ourselves in these situations in the first place. If we really believed the truths that God speaks into our hearts, I know we wouldn't let negative words affect us. But, it's often hard to remember the words of our Savior when someone in front of us is berating us day in and day out.
The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b (NLT)
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)
So no matter how other people see us, let us remember the way that God sees us...and cling to that...and forget about the other stuff.
It pains me so much when people listen to hurtful words others speak to them...and believe them...when they are not true.
I think we've all been in this situation before.
I had someone in my life at one point that spoke horrible things to me. I was called horrible names and was told I wasn't worth it or good enough. I was made to feel worthless...and yet, I continued to put myself in the situation to keep hearing these words.
I think I knew deep down that they weren't true...but I did believe them for awhile. I accepted them as truth...and I started to feel very bad about myself. It's only by the amazing ways of my Savior that I was finally able to see these things were not true. He called me away from that person and called me back to Himself...where He reminded me of how beautiful and lovely He saw me...and how much He loved me.
So, when I see someone in a similar situation, it literally tears my heart in two. Because I've been there...and I know how hard it is to really believe that those things aren't true...even though you hear them over and over again. I encouraged this person to remove the harmful person from their life...so that this would not continue. It's the only way things will ever change.
I just wonder why we put ourselves in these situations in the first place. If we really believed the truths that God speaks into our hearts, I know we wouldn't let negative words affect us. But, it's often hard to remember the words of our Savior when someone in front of us is berating us day in and day out.
The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b (NLT)
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)
So no matter how other people see us, let us remember the way that God sees us...and cling to that...and forget about the other stuff.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Mercy
I've been reading in Romans the past two weeks.
(We've been going through it for my Tuesday night Bible study)
As I was reading through Romans 11 tonight, I came across a couple of verses that really hit me hard.
The first are verses 20-21 (for the full context, read Romans 10 and 11. For a quick synopsis, Paul is talking about the way the Israelites kept hardening their hearts towards God and how the Gentiles now have the chance for salvation):
...But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.
Ouch.
How many times do I take my salvation for granted?
I am not Jewish.
I am not an Israelite, nor one of God's chosen people.
Yet, Christ extended His hand out to me and offered me salvation.
Why do I act like it's something I can just claim or use when I need it...instead of something that should consume my whole life?
Here's the other verse:
For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.
(vs. 32)
How many times do I take His mercy for granted?
I sin.
Every.single.day.
I wouldn't have salvation or the promise of eternal life without His mercies.
I'm a screw up.
And yet, many times I think, "Well, at least I'm not doing that...or that...or that..."
Yeah.
Because God measures different sins differently, doesn't He?
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
(James 2:10)
Yeah.
He sure doesn't.
Just some things He's showing me tonight.
What has He been showing you lately?
(We've been going through it for my Tuesday night Bible study)
As I was reading through Romans 11 tonight, I came across a couple of verses that really hit me hard.
The first are verses 20-21 (for the full context, read Romans 10 and 11. For a quick synopsis, Paul is talking about the way the Israelites kept hardening their hearts towards God and how the Gentiles now have the chance for salvation):
...But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.
Ouch.
How many times do I take my salvation for granted?
I am not Jewish.
I am not an Israelite, nor one of God's chosen people.
Yet, Christ extended His hand out to me and offered me salvation.
Why do I act like it's something I can just claim or use when I need it...instead of something that should consume my whole life?
Here's the other verse:
For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.
(vs. 32)
How many times do I take His mercy for granted?
I sin.
Every.single.day.
I wouldn't have salvation or the promise of eternal life without His mercies.
I'm a screw up.
And yet, many times I think, "Well, at least I'm not doing that...or that...or that..."
Yeah.
Because God measures different sins differently, doesn't He?
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
(James 2:10)
Yeah.
He sure doesn't.
Just some things He's showing me tonight.
What has He been showing you lately?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Painstakingly Obvious
I feel like I am constantly being slapped in the face.
I keep getting reminded of truths that I know God wants me to comprehend, learn, and put into practice...yet I keep ignoring them.
Every time I am around other followers of Christ, I keep getting reminded of how much I am supposed to trust God and not rely on my own strength...yet I keep doubting Him and leaning on my strength.
I feel like I should have learned this lesson by now.
Why is it taking me so long?
I keep getting reminded of truths that I know God wants me to comprehend, learn, and put into practice...yet I keep ignoring them.
Every time I am around other followers of Christ, I keep getting reminded of how much I am supposed to trust God and not rely on my own strength...yet I keep doubting Him and leaning on my strength.
I feel like I should have learned this lesson by now.
Why is it taking me so long?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Be Still
I feel like I just experienced one of the toughest, but most amazing weeks in my life. This time on Sunday night, I never would have thought I would feel the way I do this very moment. I am probably going to have a really hard time putting it all into words, but here goes...
Sunday night was a hard night for me. The service at church was amazing and spoke volumes to me. I was so excited about it! It was hard for me to hear, but it was exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment in time. But, that wasn't even the hard part...
My heart was so broken after church. I can't describe the place I was in or even why. It's far too personal for a public blog. But, I was so hurt. I was questioning God, I was questioning myself, I was questioning everyone around me and everything about my life that brought me to this place. But, as hurt as I was, I just felt numb. I cried...oh yes, I definitely shed some tears...but it wasn't because of the pain. It was because that's what you do when you're sad. It's not that I forced myself to cry. Not in the least. The tears just sort of came. I just didn't have much emotion at all. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel the pain. I wanted to have words to express what was going on inside of me. But, the problem was, nothing really was. I had no words to say, no emotions, nothing. I just felt...numb...it's the only word that works. And, that scared me more than anything. I don't think I have ever felt that way before in my life. I don't think I have ever not FELT some sort of emotion in any given situation. I just felt like I was doing things automatically, because that's what I should do, not because I was controlling what I was doing. It was almost an out of body experience. But, it wasn't all creepy like it sounds. It's just so hard to find words to explain how it felt to feel NOTHING.
I pretty much felt this way all day on Monday and most of the day on Tuesday. I just couldn't shake the nothingness. I knew I should be crying or praying or throwing things or doing something, anything, to get it all out, but I couldn't. It was just so weird.
I started feeling something on Wednesday night. Driving home from Bible study, I felt like my emotions were coming back...and so did my words. All of a sudden, it was like a switch flipped on and I was able to express feelings again. Words came out, the hurt came out, and so did more tears. All the while, I just couldn't pray. I don't know why, but I just felt like I couldn't talk to God at all, even though I knew I should. I just couldn't do it. Even though it felt good to finally FEEL something again, I didn't feel any better about myself.
I went through the motions all day on Thursday. I tried to put on a happy face. I tried my best to cover up this aching feeling inside of me that things still weren't ok. I would think about praying or reading my Bible, and then I would push the thoughts out of my head. I just couldn't do it. So, I distracted myself with whatever I could find...Facebook, TV, cleaning, eating. I just didn't want to face the fact that the only One who could make it all better was God.
So, in the midst of all of this, I left for Women of Faith on Friday morning. I finally did pray before I left, asking God, "If You want to speak to me this weekend, please make it clear". It was all I could pray. I didn't know what to expect at the conference, and honestly, I didn't really expect a whole lot. I figured there would be some cool worship songs and maybe a couple of interesting speakers and then it would all be over and I could go home...and keep ignoring everything. Boy, was I in for a shocker...
I don't even know if I can put into words all that happened this weekend. I KNOW with 100% certainty that I was supposed to be at that conference. I also know that it was no coincidence that it fell on this weekend, after the week that I had. God had a LOT to say to me...through the speakers, through the worship, and through the songs the Christian artists sang in their concerts. Not only did He speak to me about my week and all that had gone on with my feelings, but He spoke to me about another thing I was fighting so hard against. I felt like everything the speakers talked about was meant for me and only me. Now, I know, in reality, that many of the women in that conference felt very similar to me...like they just couldn't turn to God, fearful, nervous, like they were failures...but it all just spoke so much to me that I truly feel like there was no better place I could have been this weekend.
One of the speakers REALLY touched my heart. She shared a story of how hurt she was about a situation in her life and how numb she began to feel about it after awhile. About how there was no more laughter or smiling in her home and how she didn't even realize it...all because of the way she was feeling. She shared Psalm 46:10 with us: "Be still, and know that I am God..." She said that "be still" translated from the Hebrew literally meant "let go". And, when she said that, I knew that God wanted me to hear that...and hang onto it. He knew I was holding on to all of this stuff inside of me that I did not need to carry on my own. He knew that all my fears and nervousness were the result of me not relying on Him. He knew that all the nothingness I had felt was my defense for dealing with the pain, because I wouldn't turn to Him for help. And, He wanted me to let it all go...
I know this is all very vague, but I really just left this weekend TRULY BELIEVING in a couple of very important truths...
1. My Savior wants to hold me in His arms and never let me go
2. I CAN'T live my life on my own. I CAN'T keep holding onto all these burdens and fears. I HAVE to give them up to Him on a regular basis and NOT take them back.
3. I have to let go and trust Him. He has a plan for me and my biggest fear is NOT going to come true...He told me that very clearly (which I will not be sharing here. Someday, I will. But, for now, it's just enough to say that I do not have to fear it happening anymore).
4. None of this is going to happen overnight. God wants to work on me, but it is going to take time. I have to continually surrender myself to Him, because I know He is mighty to save.
I feel so much more alive than I have felt in a long time. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God truly works all things together for my good. I can't wait to look back on this blog entry someday and see where I came from and how far I've come. God is so good!
Sunday night was a hard night for me. The service at church was amazing and spoke volumes to me. I was so excited about it! It was hard for me to hear, but it was exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment in time. But, that wasn't even the hard part...
My heart was so broken after church. I can't describe the place I was in or even why. It's far too personal for a public blog. But, I was so hurt. I was questioning God, I was questioning myself, I was questioning everyone around me and everything about my life that brought me to this place. But, as hurt as I was, I just felt numb. I cried...oh yes, I definitely shed some tears...but it wasn't because of the pain. It was because that's what you do when you're sad. It's not that I forced myself to cry. Not in the least. The tears just sort of came. I just didn't have much emotion at all. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel the pain. I wanted to have words to express what was going on inside of me. But, the problem was, nothing really was. I had no words to say, no emotions, nothing. I just felt...numb...it's the only word that works. And, that scared me more than anything. I don't think I have ever felt that way before in my life. I don't think I have ever not FELT some sort of emotion in any given situation. I just felt like I was doing things automatically, because that's what I should do, not because I was controlling what I was doing. It was almost an out of body experience. But, it wasn't all creepy like it sounds. It's just so hard to find words to explain how it felt to feel NOTHING.
I pretty much felt this way all day on Monday and most of the day on Tuesday. I just couldn't shake the nothingness. I knew I should be crying or praying or throwing things or doing something, anything, to get it all out, but I couldn't. It was just so weird.
I started feeling something on Wednesday night. Driving home from Bible study, I felt like my emotions were coming back...and so did my words. All of a sudden, it was like a switch flipped on and I was able to express feelings again. Words came out, the hurt came out, and so did more tears. All the while, I just couldn't pray. I don't know why, but I just felt like I couldn't talk to God at all, even though I knew I should. I just couldn't do it. Even though it felt good to finally FEEL something again, I didn't feel any better about myself.
I went through the motions all day on Thursday. I tried to put on a happy face. I tried my best to cover up this aching feeling inside of me that things still weren't ok. I would think about praying or reading my Bible, and then I would push the thoughts out of my head. I just couldn't do it. So, I distracted myself with whatever I could find...Facebook, TV, cleaning, eating. I just didn't want to face the fact that the only One who could make it all better was God.
So, in the midst of all of this, I left for Women of Faith on Friday morning. I finally did pray before I left, asking God, "If You want to speak to me this weekend, please make it clear". It was all I could pray. I didn't know what to expect at the conference, and honestly, I didn't really expect a whole lot. I figured there would be some cool worship songs and maybe a couple of interesting speakers and then it would all be over and I could go home...and keep ignoring everything. Boy, was I in for a shocker...
I don't even know if I can put into words all that happened this weekend. I KNOW with 100% certainty that I was supposed to be at that conference. I also know that it was no coincidence that it fell on this weekend, after the week that I had. God had a LOT to say to me...through the speakers, through the worship, and through the songs the Christian artists sang in their concerts. Not only did He speak to me about my week and all that had gone on with my feelings, but He spoke to me about another thing I was fighting so hard against. I felt like everything the speakers talked about was meant for me and only me. Now, I know, in reality, that many of the women in that conference felt very similar to me...like they just couldn't turn to God, fearful, nervous, like they were failures...but it all just spoke so much to me that I truly feel like there was no better place I could have been this weekend.
One of the speakers REALLY touched my heart. She shared a story of how hurt she was about a situation in her life and how numb she began to feel about it after awhile. About how there was no more laughter or smiling in her home and how she didn't even realize it...all because of the way she was feeling. She shared Psalm 46:10 with us: "Be still, and know that I am God..." She said that "be still" translated from the Hebrew literally meant "let go". And, when she said that, I knew that God wanted me to hear that...and hang onto it. He knew I was holding on to all of this stuff inside of me that I did not need to carry on my own. He knew that all my fears and nervousness were the result of me not relying on Him. He knew that all the nothingness I had felt was my defense for dealing with the pain, because I wouldn't turn to Him for help. And, He wanted me to let it all go...
I know this is all very vague, but I really just left this weekend TRULY BELIEVING in a couple of very important truths...
1. My Savior wants to hold me in His arms and never let me go
2. I CAN'T live my life on my own. I CAN'T keep holding onto all these burdens and fears. I HAVE to give them up to Him on a regular basis and NOT take them back.
3. I have to let go and trust Him. He has a plan for me and my biggest fear is NOT going to come true...He told me that very clearly (which I will not be sharing here. Someday, I will. But, for now, it's just enough to say that I do not have to fear it happening anymore).
4. None of this is going to happen overnight. God wants to work on me, but it is going to take time. I have to continually surrender myself to Him, because I know He is mighty to save.
I feel so much more alive than I have felt in a long time. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God truly works all things together for my good. I can't wait to look back on this blog entry someday and see where I came from and how far I've come. God is so good!
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