I never got on here to share about my goals for myself for this year.
Honestly, I was feeling so overwhelmed in the beginning of year with life that I didn't really want to take time to assess goals.
Balancing life and letting go of fears are constants on my list every year. Because I'm still learning how those two things work. Also, if you didn't read my last blog post, I talked about how my pain has played into every part of my life. And that is something else I'm working on.
I'm still striving to look more like Jesus, and as I've mentioned before, that will always be an ongoing thing.
I picked a word for this year, something I haven't done very often. I usually look back at the year and see what word stuck out to me. But this year, I picked the word Shine. These are the reasons why:
1. I want to Shine in all I do. I want to be a light and a bright spot in the lives of those around me and in those I come in contact with. I want to Shine in my day-to-day and in my work.
2. I want to help others to Shine. I want to be an encourager to those around me to Shine in all they do in life. I want to help spur others on to achieve their goals and dreams.
I wrote those words out in my Color Street group on December 29th. Almost 9 months later, it makes me a little teary-eyed thinking about how this has already happened in many ways.
I don't talk very often about my Color Street business to those in my life (unless they are a part of this business). I don't mean I don't talk about the product (because I do), but I don't talk about the business side of it. I'm not the type of person that wants to bug anyone or turn anyone off. I don't want to come across as spammy. So I refrain from sharing things often because I don't want to annoy anyone.
But I'm going to share a little now. Because I've seen that second point happen quite often this year.
As I mentioned above, I wrote those words on December 29th in my group. That very day, I had my very first person join my Color Street team. My team continued to grow each month and is now 24 strong (at the time of publishing)!
I take my responsibility as a leader very seriously. I have always believed wholeheartedly in leading by example and in being the biggest cheerleader for anyone I'm leading. This is the first time I've been in this type of leadership position. It is definitely challenging at times, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges.
I have literally watched girls on my team achieve huge goals and dreams in their lives. I have celebrated their achievements in Color Street, but also their achievements outside of Color Street. I have mourned with them, I have cried with them and I have cheered them on from the front row. I have watched them Shine.
A lot of hard things happened this year. A lot of really beautiful things happened this year. And a lot of in-between things happened this year.
But I am still striving for my goals for this year. I'm still striving to Shine in all I do. I'm still learning to be a better version of me. I'm still learning how to balance life and let go of fears.
I've cried many tears. I've laughed a lot. I've squealed with delight. I've felt tired and worn out.
But I keep going. I keep moving forward, I keep striving and I keep loving on those around me.
That is how my 2018 has been so far.
Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Cherished
It's been a long time since I've sat down to write out a blog post. I had every intention of doing one in January and then time got away from me. And now we are nearing the end of March.
I'm writing this on a plane on my way home from Colorado. Of course this won't be published until quite awhile after I get home. But my heart hurts and it's time to write some words down about why.
My beautiful CO bestie, that I cherish so very much, lost her amazing sister this past week. She fought a long almost 7 year battle with cancer. She did it. She fought hard and she no longer has to fight anymore.
I remember the very first time I met her. It was just days before she found out she had cancer. She was so full of joy, even though she had no idea why her body was doing such strange things. We went on to develop a sweet friendship. I got to spend time with her on almost every one of my trips to Colorado. We bonded over our mutual love of Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter. She surprised my husband and I two Christmases ago with scarfs she crocheted in our Hogwarts house colors. She would also write me the sweetest texts and comments on my Instagram. I feel like I barely knew her but knew her so well at the same time. She instantly made me feel so loved and cherished.
Her heart for other people, for the hurting and broken, for those everyone else would ignore, was so precious. There will never be another person on this earth just like Mary. She was a special gift. A gift I'm glad to have known, even for the short time that I had with her.
I got to say goodbye to her this weekend and celebrate her life. It was such a hard day, but it was also so very beautiful. We cried a lot, we laughed, we talked about how amazing she was and we danced. She truly would have loved every minute of that day. I'm not sure that I've ever been to a funeral that "perfect" before. It was Mary through and through.
I will miss her random texts. I will miss her kind words. I will miss her voice and how truly happy she was to see me whenever I was there for a visit. I will miss so much but I will always cherish and treasure every single interaction I ever had with her.
I'm writing this on a plane on my way home from Colorado. Of course this won't be published until quite awhile after I get home. But my heart hurts and it's time to write some words down about why.
My beautiful CO bestie, that I cherish so very much, lost her amazing sister this past week. She fought a long almost 7 year battle with cancer. She did it. She fought hard and she no longer has to fight anymore.
I remember the very first time I met her. It was just days before she found out she had cancer. She was so full of joy, even though she had no idea why her body was doing such strange things. We went on to develop a sweet friendship. I got to spend time with her on almost every one of my trips to Colorado. We bonded over our mutual love of Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter. She surprised my husband and I two Christmases ago with scarfs she crocheted in our Hogwarts house colors. She would also write me the sweetest texts and comments on my Instagram. I feel like I barely knew her but knew her so well at the same time. She instantly made me feel so loved and cherished.
Her heart for other people, for the hurting and broken, for those everyone else would ignore, was so precious. There will never be another person on this earth just like Mary. She was a special gift. A gift I'm glad to have known, even for the short time that I had with her.
I got to say goodbye to her this weekend and celebrate her life. It was such a hard day, but it was also so very beautiful. We cried a lot, we laughed, we talked about how amazing she was and we danced. She truly would have loved every minute of that day. I'm not sure that I've ever been to a funeral that "perfect" before. It was Mary through and through.
I will miss her random texts. I will miss her kind words. I will miss her voice and how truly happy she was to see me whenever I was there for a visit. I will miss so much but I will always cherish and treasure every single interaction I ever had with her.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Life is Precious
This past week has been a mix of fun and tough.
Josh and I went on a trip to our favorite place (Disneyland) last week. The night before we left, I had this horrible dream that we got in a car accident on our way down there. It made me feel a little shaky, so I spent some time praying after I woke up. Crazy thing was, on our way down there, we drove through the scene of an accident just minutes after it happened. We stopped to get gas at one point and I debated about stopping at a Starbucks as well, but decided to go ahead and stop. If we wouldn't have stopped, we could have been involved in that accident.
As we were driving through, very slowly to avoid the glass and other debris in the road, I started crying looking at the wreckage around us. One of the cars was so smashed in, I didn't even know if the driver would still be alive. There was a big pickup halfway up the center divide with a trailer attached. We saw at least six vehicles that were involved in the accident. I started praying out loud as we drove through that Jesus would protect the people involved and get them the help they needed. We found out later that thankfully no one was killed but that a few people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries.
The day after we got home from our trip, we found out that a friend of ours was killed in a car accident. Neither one of us wanted to believe it at first. It came as a complete shock and completely rocked both of us.
Today, that friend would have turned 25. We joined a lot of his loved ones in a park this afternoon to let off balloons in honor of his birthday.
I've been reminded this week about how short life is. And how precious it is. I let petty stuff get in the way of things too often. I get upset about little things that don't matter. I have moments where I feel entitled about things or expect that things should go my way. I often overlook the feelings of those around me because I'm too wrapped up in my own world.
So today, in this moment, I'm striving for a heart change. I want to be more mindful of those around me than of myself. I want to focus my energy more on the people around me that need it more than I do. I want to honor and cherish the people I have in my life, because I don't know how much time I will have with them.
Life is precious. Let's live each day like we really believe that.
Josh and I went on a trip to our favorite place (Disneyland) last week. The night before we left, I had this horrible dream that we got in a car accident on our way down there. It made me feel a little shaky, so I spent some time praying after I woke up. Crazy thing was, on our way down there, we drove through the scene of an accident just minutes after it happened. We stopped to get gas at one point and I debated about stopping at a Starbucks as well, but decided to go ahead and stop. If we wouldn't have stopped, we could have been involved in that accident.
As we were driving through, very slowly to avoid the glass and other debris in the road, I started crying looking at the wreckage around us. One of the cars was so smashed in, I didn't even know if the driver would still be alive. There was a big pickup halfway up the center divide with a trailer attached. We saw at least six vehicles that were involved in the accident. I started praying out loud as we drove through that Jesus would protect the people involved and get them the help they needed. We found out later that thankfully no one was killed but that a few people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries.
The day after we got home from our trip, we found out that a friend of ours was killed in a car accident. Neither one of us wanted to believe it at first. It came as a complete shock and completely rocked both of us.
Today, that friend would have turned 25. We joined a lot of his loved ones in a park this afternoon to let off balloons in honor of his birthday.
Photo cred to my husband
I've been reminded this week about how short life is. And how precious it is. I let petty stuff get in the way of things too often. I get upset about little things that don't matter. I have moments where I feel entitled about things or expect that things should go my way. I often overlook the feelings of those around me because I'm too wrapped up in my own world.
So today, in this moment, I'm striving for a heart change. I want to be more mindful of those around me than of myself. I want to focus my energy more on the people around me that need it more than I do. I want to honor and cherish the people I have in my life, because I don't know how much time I will have with them.
Life is precious. Let's live each day like we really believe that.
We miss you, friend
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Legacy
I could not have known when I hit publish on that last post that Tuesday, September 30th would be the day that Josh's great grandmother breathed her last.
We all knew it was coming, but that did not make the news easier to process.
For someone who lived 98 years on this earth, she definitely left a beautiful and wonderful legacy behind.
A couple of our friends had their baby on the very same day.
My brother-in-law pointed out something I was already thinking:
God gives and takes away.
While our time on this earth with Josh's great grandma is over, our friends's baby's life has just begun. Her tiny little lungs took their first breath on the same day that Josh's great grandma's took their last.
God gives and takes away. I've always loved the song Blessed Be Your Name because of that line.
I am thankful for the time that we did have with Josh's great grandma. I am thankful for the children she had, and in turn, the children they had, and so on.
I am thankful for her incredible legacy.
We all knew it was coming, but that did not make the news easier to process.
For someone who lived 98 years on this earth, she definitely left a beautiful and wonderful legacy behind.
A couple of our friends had their baby on the very same day.
My brother-in-law pointed out something I was already thinking:
God gives and takes away.
While our time on this earth with Josh's great grandma is over, our friends's baby's life has just begun. Her tiny little lungs took their first breath on the same day that Josh's great grandma's took their last.
God gives and takes away. I've always loved the song Blessed Be Your Name because of that line.
I am thankful for the time that we did have with Josh's great grandma. I am thankful for the children she had, and in turn, the children they had, and so on.
I am thankful for her incredible legacy.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Hot August Nights
Another month has gone by this year...so crazy!
August was a full month, with some good, bad and bittersweet. Here's a little recap:
I got my hair dyed...and put some purple in it! Josh has been wanting me to do that for awhile now, and it's something I really wanted to do a few years back...so I went for it! It was only really bright for about two weeks and is pretty much gone at this point, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted!
At the beginning of the month, our friends found out they are having a boy! We are so excited for them, even though we were initially on Team Pink.
We went to a fundraiser for our local police department's tactical team with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. As it was their first one, the night didn't quite go as planned, but we had a good time.
The next day, I went to a winery event with my friend L.B. and her parents. It was a lot of fun. We also went out to lunch and hit up a couple other wineries after that. It was such a good day and I was so thankful to be able to spend it with them. That evening, we went and watched our friends's band play a little show at a coffee shop. They always do such a good job and we love being able to support them.
The following weekend, Josh's parents were in town for his dad's birthday. We did a little family get together on his actual birthday. The next day, we went to a baseball game as a family to celebrate his birthday. Our team won, which was pretty exciting, and they had fireworks after the game! It was such a good fireworks show, and I'm so glad we stayed. For being a sold out game and with how hard it was to get down on the field to watch the fireworks, it definitely ended up being worth it.
A few days later, my mom and I went to visit my grandma. We had a really nice time chatting and catching up on life and what's been going on lately. Later that day, my friend S.W. and I got to unlock pumpkin spice lattes a day early! Even though it was really hot outside, we thoroughly enjoyed our drinks.
Later that week, we celebrated K.W.'s birthday during our Bible study. It was a fun night of pizza, funfetti cake, and talking about following Jesus.
That weekend, we went to our friends's house warming party for their new place. We had a lot of fun hanging out and chatting with our friends, and "warming" their beautiful home.
The next day marked the end of an era. Our beloved Sunday evening service ended. It was a very bittersweet night and it was pretty hard to sit through, knowing it was coming to an end. I am so incredibly thankful for what it was, what was accomplished through it, and the people I know because of it...but I am definitely bummed that it's over. It's going to be a big adjustment transitioning to going back to church on Sunday mornings, after attending and being a part of the evening service for six years. I am hopeful God is going to use this time to do some amazing things, but I am definitely still very sad that the evening service is over, and that it all happened so suddenly.
Some other highlights for August:
My book club girls and I finished that series I mentioned in my last post (Delirium. We were not overly impressed), and also read Paper Towns by John Green and We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. I really enjoyed Paper Towns for the most part, but We Were Liars just made me angry. I also re-read Mockingjay during a break in our reading since the first part of the movie comes out later this year. I had forgotten how much I like that book, and how emotional it makes me.
I have been pinning all sorts of ideas for decorating for fall (I am really excited for a craft night coming up so I can get some of those ideas nailed down), as well as ideas for Halloween costumes. I've decided I need to be a bit more crafty this year and I really want to decorate my home (at least a little bit) for more than just Christmas each year.
We also saw Guardians of the Galaxy...twice! We first went with our friends and we were pleasantly surprised with how much we enjoyed it. The following weekend, we went with my family. I really liked it both times...even though our second time got interrupted by a fire alarm and we had to leave the theater for about half an hour while they sorted everything out!
We also babysat our niece all day on a Sunday while her parents went to a football game. We had such a good day with her. She always makes life a lot more fun.
I also had some fun coffee dates, a wine night, hang outs, and game nights with good friends this month. Overall, it was a really good month.
August was a full month, with some good, bad and bittersweet. Here's a little recap:
I got my hair dyed...and put some purple in it! Josh has been wanting me to do that for awhile now, and it's something I really wanted to do a few years back...so I went for it! It was only really bright for about two weeks and is pretty much gone at this point, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted!
Right after I got it done. I'm not usually one to post a lot of selfies, but I was trying to get a good picture of the color.
At the beginning of the month, our friends found out they are having a boy! We are so excited for them, even though we were initially on Team Pink.
Team Pink was wrong!
We went to a fundraiser for our local police department's tactical team with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. As it was their first one, the night didn't quite go as planned, but we had a good time.
Doing a little dancing...with a very grainy picture
The next day, I went to a winery event with my friend L.B. and her parents. It was a lot of fun. We also went out to lunch and hit up a couple other wineries after that. It was such a good day and I was so thankful to be able to spend it with them. That evening, we went and watched our friends's band play a little show at a coffee shop. They always do such a good job and we love being able to support them.
The following weekend, Josh's parents were in town for his dad's birthday. We did a little family get together on his actual birthday. The next day, we went to a baseball game as a family to celebrate his birthday. Our team won, which was pretty exciting, and they had fireworks after the game! It was such a good fireworks show, and I'm so glad we stayed. For being a sold out game and with how hard it was to get down on the field to watch the fireworks, it definitely ended up being worth it.
Yep. That's how we roll
A few days later, my mom and I went to visit my grandma. We had a really nice time chatting and catching up on life and what's been going on lately. Later that day, my friend S.W. and I got to unlock pumpkin spice lattes a day early! Even though it was really hot outside, we thoroughly enjoyed our drinks.
Later that week, we celebrated K.W.'s birthday during our Bible study. It was a fun night of pizza, funfetti cake, and talking about following Jesus.
That weekend, we went to our friends's house warming party for their new place. We had a lot of fun hanging out and chatting with our friends, and "warming" their beautiful home.
The next day marked the end of an era. Our beloved Sunday evening service ended. It was a very bittersweet night and it was pretty hard to sit through, knowing it was coming to an end. I am so incredibly thankful for what it was, what was accomplished through it, and the people I know because of it...but I am definitely bummed that it's over. It's going to be a big adjustment transitioning to going back to church on Sunday mornings, after attending and being a part of the evening service for six years. I am hopeful God is going to use this time to do some amazing things, but I am definitely still very sad that the evening service is over, and that it all happened so suddenly.
Some other highlights for August:
My book club girls and I finished that series I mentioned in my last post (Delirium. We were not overly impressed), and also read Paper Towns by John Green and We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. I really enjoyed Paper Towns for the most part, but We Were Liars just made me angry. I also re-read Mockingjay during a break in our reading since the first part of the movie comes out later this year. I had forgotten how much I like that book, and how emotional it makes me.
I have been pinning all sorts of ideas for decorating for fall (I am really excited for a craft night coming up so I can get some of those ideas nailed down), as well as ideas for Halloween costumes. I've decided I need to be a bit more crafty this year and I really want to decorate my home (at least a little bit) for more than just Christmas each year.
We also saw Guardians of the Galaxy...twice! We first went with our friends and we were pleasantly surprised with how much we enjoyed it. The following weekend, we went with my family. I really liked it both times...even though our second time got interrupted by a fire alarm and we had to leave the theater for about half an hour while they sorted everything out!
We also babysat our niece all day on a Sunday while her parents went to a football game. We had such a good day with her. She always makes life a lot more fun.
We took the little cheeseball out for ice cream for being such a good girl
I also had some fun coffee dates, a wine night, hang outs, and game nights with good friends this month. Overall, it was a really good month.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
For the Good
I honestly wish I knew what to say.
I have mentioned many times in past blog posts that this year has been a very hard one.
I wrote out a long blog post last week about why...and then decided against posting it.
I have a hard time sharing someone else's story, even if it's not in very many details.
The one thing I can say is, I have changed, grown, and hurt deeper this year than I ever have before. My love for my family and for my amazing friends has morphed into something I didn't think possible before. My heart has been broken and shattered into a million pieces, and yet God is picking it back up and helping to mend it with each passing day.
I cling to Josh more dearly than I ever have in my life. I long to just be at home with him and to soak in every moment we can be together.
Someday, when the time is right, I will share the story (or maybe ask someone very dear to me if they would like the honor). It's a beautiful story...full of pain, yes...but covered in God's love and grace and mercy and compassion.
I've had a hard time coming to terms with why things happened the way they did, but I've been clinging to the fact that God's plan is always best, even when we don't understand it or can't see it fully. And even though I can't understand the whys, I've seen the evidence of some beautiful outcomes...and for that, I am so incredibly grateful.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Romans 8:28 (NIV)
This I know to be true.
And I'm choosing to hold onto His promises today.
I have mentioned many times in past blog posts that this year has been a very hard one.
I wrote out a long blog post last week about why...and then decided against posting it.
I have a hard time sharing someone else's story, even if it's not in very many details.
The one thing I can say is, I have changed, grown, and hurt deeper this year than I ever have before. My love for my family and for my amazing friends has morphed into something I didn't think possible before. My heart has been broken and shattered into a million pieces, and yet God is picking it back up and helping to mend it with each passing day.
I cling to Josh more dearly than I ever have in my life. I long to just be at home with him and to soak in every moment we can be together.
Someday, when the time is right, I will share the story (or maybe ask someone very dear to me if they would like the honor). It's a beautiful story...full of pain, yes...but covered in God's love and grace and mercy and compassion.
I've had a hard time coming to terms with why things happened the way they did, but I've been clinging to the fact that God's plan is always best, even when we don't understand it or can't see it fully. And even though I can't understand the whys, I've seen the evidence of some beautiful outcomes...and for that, I am so incredibly grateful.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Romans 8:28 (NIV)
This I know to be true.
And I'm choosing to hold onto His promises today.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Heavy
There has been a lot of stuff going on in the lives of those around me lately.
Heavy, heavy stuff...
I sat down last week and thought of each person and situation...and realized just how many people I love are going through really tough trials right now.
It's heartbreaking and overwhelming, but the one thing we have all been able to cling to through it all is that God is still in control, He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him, and He has not left us or forsaken us.
All I can do in the moments when I feel so overwhelmed and sad is pray.
It seems simple, but it truly is the only thing I can offer that I know does make a difference.
When I was younger, our Kid's Church program took over a Sunday morning service. We sang our worship songs, played some of our games, and went through one of our teachings. The teaching was on prayer and the main message we left for the congregation was that Prayer Changes Things. Many people in the church remembered that simple phrase, and it was used a lot in the years to come. It's easy to remember, but it's also very true.
It's hard sometimes, because when we don't get what we want, we often feel like our prayers don't make a difference or that they aren't "working". But that is so far from the truth. Even though God knows about each and every situation in the lives of those around us, He still commands us in His Word to pray for one another.
Healing does not always come on this side of eternity, nor are all of our problems automatically solved with a few simple words offered up in prayer. But our first response in all situations, good and bad, should be to talk them over with God. Whether it be a situation we want to change or a situation that we are thankful for, it's important that we take the time to talk to God about it.
In the midst of all these trials surrounding me, a couple of songs have really ministered to my heart. I've shared them with a few friends because the words are just so powerful and true. One is Promises by Sanctus Real (I attached the video below) and the other is You Are by Colton Dixon. If you have not heard either one, or haven't really listened to the words, I would encourage you to do so. They are both beautiful and often bring tears to my eyes.
This time in my life has been a hard one. It hurts me to see and experience the things going on with the people I love. But I also know that God still has a plan, and I either have to trust Him...or not trust Him at all. I can't just trust Him when life is going good. It's always or never. Even though I don't understand everything, I am thankful that He does...and that He will turn all of these situations into good...somehow, some way.
Note: If you are looking for a new platform to follow my blog on, feel free to use bloglovin (you can find me here) or Facebook (you can find me here).
Heavy, heavy stuff...
I sat down last week and thought of each person and situation...and realized just how many people I love are going through really tough trials right now.
It's heartbreaking and overwhelming, but the one thing we have all been able to cling to through it all is that God is still in control, He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him, and He has not left us or forsaken us.
All I can do in the moments when I feel so overwhelmed and sad is pray.
It seems simple, but it truly is the only thing I can offer that I know does make a difference.
When I was younger, our Kid's Church program took over a Sunday morning service. We sang our worship songs, played some of our games, and went through one of our teachings. The teaching was on prayer and the main message we left for the congregation was that Prayer Changes Things. Many people in the church remembered that simple phrase, and it was used a lot in the years to come. It's easy to remember, but it's also very true.
It's hard sometimes, because when we don't get what we want, we often feel like our prayers don't make a difference or that they aren't "working". But that is so far from the truth. Even though God knows about each and every situation in the lives of those around us, He still commands us in His Word to pray for one another.
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
(James 5:13-16, NIV)
Healing does not always come on this side of eternity, nor are all of our problems automatically solved with a few simple words offered up in prayer. But our first response in all situations, good and bad, should be to talk them over with God. Whether it be a situation we want to change or a situation that we are thankful for, it's important that we take the time to talk to God about it.
In the midst of all these trials surrounding me, a couple of songs have really ministered to my heart. I've shared them with a few friends because the words are just so powerful and true. One is Promises by Sanctus Real (I attached the video below) and the other is You Are by Colton Dixon. If you have not heard either one, or haven't really listened to the words, I would encourage you to do so. They are both beautiful and often bring tears to my eyes.
This time in my life has been a hard one. It hurts me to see and experience the things going on with the people I love. But I also know that God still has a plan, and I either have to trust Him...or not trust Him at all. I can't just trust Him when life is going good. It's always or never. Even though I don't understand everything, I am thankful that He does...and that He will turn all of these situations into good...somehow, some way.
Note: If you are looking for a new platform to follow my blog on, feel free to use bloglovin (you can find me here) or Facebook (you can find me here).
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Overwhelmed... 9/11
I have been so overwhelmed all day today.
Reading the many posts on Facebook and Twitter, watching the videos, viewing the pictures, watching the tributes on TV...it just brings up so many emotions.
I posted this on Facebook this morning:
And, that's about all I can put into words. I've teared up today, I've been in shock at the things people have found important today (that have nothing to do with what happened 10 years ago), and I've remembered...where I was when I found out, how I felt, and how frightening things were for many weeks and months prior to that horrible day.
I hope you haven't forgotten...
Saturday, September 3, 2011
It Comes in Waves
It's been one of those weeks...
I know you've had them before.
The kind where you get lots of good news...and lots of bad news.
And, many of the good and bad things were the opposites of each other.
One of my friends got engaged this week...and another broke off an engagement.
One of my friends is due to have her baby any day now...and another lost her precious little one far too soon.
I don't pretend to know why God allows things to go this way. Not even for a second. But, times like these always remind me of the song Blessed Be Your Name:
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
There always seems to be moments of giving...and moments of taking.
And while I would much prefer if God only gave us things...I know He takes things away for a reason.
I am beyond excited for my beautiful engaged friend. Having known her for almost four years now, my heart is just so full for her. I know she has been longing for the day that she would be married...and now it will be here before she knows it.
I am so very excited to see pics of the beautiful baby boy that will be born very soon. It seems like it was just yesterday that his amazing momma sent me an email to tell me she was expecting (and told me she didn't want to tell me right away because she didn't want to hurt me. She is truly a beautiful soul). My heart longs to hold him close...and I'm hoping that moment will come sooner rather than later.
But then there's the flip side...
I am sad for my friends that broke off their engagement.
I am beyond heartbroken for the beautiful woman who had to say goodbye to her sweet Addison...who died before ever entering this world. Yet I know that Jesus is taking care of that sweet little baby...and that my wonderful friend is going to be able to hold that baby in her arms again one day.
But the one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt...through all of this...is that God is in control.
And, in each and every situation, He will receive the glory. Whether it's a joyful situation or one filled with sadness and many tears, He will be glorified...some way, somehow.
And that is all this bittersweet heart can hold onto tonight.
I know you've had them before.
The kind where you get lots of good news...and lots of bad news.
And, many of the good and bad things were the opposites of each other.
One of my friends got engaged this week...and another broke off an engagement.
One of my friends is due to have her baby any day now...and another lost her precious little one far too soon.
I don't pretend to know why God allows things to go this way. Not even for a second. But, times like these always remind me of the song Blessed Be Your Name:
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
There always seems to be moments of giving...and moments of taking.
And while I would much prefer if God only gave us things...I know He takes things away for a reason.
I am beyond excited for my beautiful engaged friend. Having known her for almost four years now, my heart is just so full for her. I know she has been longing for the day that she would be married...and now it will be here before she knows it.
I am so very excited to see pics of the beautiful baby boy that will be born very soon. It seems like it was just yesterday that his amazing momma sent me an email to tell me she was expecting (and told me she didn't want to tell me right away because she didn't want to hurt me. She is truly a beautiful soul). My heart longs to hold him close...and I'm hoping that moment will come sooner rather than later.
But then there's the flip side...
I am sad for my friends that broke off their engagement.
I am beyond heartbroken for the beautiful woman who had to say goodbye to her sweet Addison...who died before ever entering this world. Yet I know that Jesus is taking care of that sweet little baby...and that my wonderful friend is going to be able to hold that baby in her arms again one day.
But the one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt...through all of this...is that God is in control.
And, in each and every situation, He will receive the glory. Whether it's a joyful situation or one filled with sadness and many tears, He will be glorified...some way, somehow.
And that is all this bittersweet heart can hold onto tonight.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wonder
Four hours ago, I would have said I was pretty down in the dumps.
We headed home from church, declining offers to go get dinner (since it's not in the budget to do so for the rest of the month), but pretty bored and trying to figure out what to do. We got home and I sat down on the couch, just feeling icky. Not sick, but bummed icky. I was feeling alone, sad, bored, tired, and hungry all at once. Alone because I know I have a couple of friends who really need to talk right now, but they don't want to...and I can't do anything about it. Sad because my heart aches when I see people hurting. Bored because I spent most of the day at home, not doing anything, and was hoping for a more eventful evening. Tired because...well, I don't know on that one. I got plenty of sleep last night, so I'm not sure why I felt so exhausted. And hungry...well, that's pretty self-explanatory. Anyway, I just wasn't feeling like my usual self.
Josh suggested watching a movie, so I got on my iPod Touch, hit the Redbox app, and looked for something interesting. I stumbled upon The Invention of Lying, which I remembered seeing commercials for last year, but we never saw. I thought it sounded interesting enough, so Josh went and picked it up. Josh made himself some yummy pasta, I ate my leftover sandwich from yesterday's lunch, and we put the movie in the Xbox. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, but it was thought provoking enough to keep me interested, and it helped lift my spirits a bit.
After the movie, Josh headed for bed, and I logged onto Blogger to see if any of the other blogs I follow had new posts. And, I got a great treat! One of my favorite blogs that I follow had a new post. The woman (Kelle) who writes the blog is an amazing photographer, she writes so beautifully (I feel like I am sitting in her living room with a cup of coffee in hand, listening to her speak to me), and her story amazes me. Her blog can be found here One of my friends actually blogged about Kelle's blog a few months back, as one of her friends had stumbled upon her blog. I enjoy reading her blog so much, and I know many others would enjoy it as well.
Anyway, reading her blog made me feel completely better. I just love how the pictures she posts and the words she writes just make me feel so much more content in life. Which reminds me...
The sermon at church tonight was on the final commandment: Do not covet. And, one of the verses they used was Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV):
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
This verse has popped up so much in my life lately. We are starting the book of Philippians in the college group, so it first popped out at me from reading through it a couple of weeks ago. I keep being reminded of it whenever someone talks about being content. The sermon tonight just capped it off. I know God wants me to be content with what I have, and obviously it is something I definitely need to work on. So funny how He works that way, huh?
We headed home from church, declining offers to go get dinner (since it's not in the budget to do so for the rest of the month), but pretty bored and trying to figure out what to do. We got home and I sat down on the couch, just feeling icky. Not sick, but bummed icky. I was feeling alone, sad, bored, tired, and hungry all at once. Alone because I know I have a couple of friends who really need to talk right now, but they don't want to...and I can't do anything about it. Sad because my heart aches when I see people hurting. Bored because I spent most of the day at home, not doing anything, and was hoping for a more eventful evening. Tired because...well, I don't know on that one. I got plenty of sleep last night, so I'm not sure why I felt so exhausted. And hungry...well, that's pretty self-explanatory. Anyway, I just wasn't feeling like my usual self.
Josh suggested watching a movie, so I got on my iPod Touch, hit the Redbox app, and looked for something interesting. I stumbled upon The Invention of Lying, which I remembered seeing commercials for last year, but we never saw. I thought it sounded interesting enough, so Josh went and picked it up. Josh made himself some yummy pasta, I ate my leftover sandwich from yesterday's lunch, and we put the movie in the Xbox. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, but it was thought provoking enough to keep me interested, and it helped lift my spirits a bit.
After the movie, Josh headed for bed, and I logged onto Blogger to see if any of the other blogs I follow had new posts. And, I got a great treat! One of my favorite blogs that I follow had a new post. The woman (Kelle) who writes the blog is an amazing photographer, she writes so beautifully (I feel like I am sitting in her living room with a cup of coffee in hand, listening to her speak to me), and her story amazes me. Her blog can be found here One of my friends actually blogged about Kelle's blog a few months back, as one of her friends had stumbled upon her blog. I enjoy reading her blog so much, and I know many others would enjoy it as well.
Anyway, reading her blog made me feel completely better. I just love how the pictures she posts and the words she writes just make me feel so much more content in life. Which reminds me...
The sermon at church tonight was on the final commandment: Do not covet. And, one of the verses they used was Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV):
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
This verse has popped up so much in my life lately. We are starting the book of Philippians in the college group, so it first popped out at me from reading through it a couple of weeks ago. I keep being reminded of it whenever someone talks about being content. The sermon tonight just capped it off. I know God wants me to be content with what I have, and obviously it is something I definitely need to work on. So funny how He works that way, huh?
Sunday, May 2, 2010
May
It is now officially May.
We had lots of April showers, so I am expecting some beautiful May flowers. In fact, I need some May flowers. Some pink tulips, and yellow roses, and white daisies. That would make things all better.
It's weird what spring does to me. Each year, when the weather starts shifting from the cold gusts of winter to the warm, gentle breezes of spring, I have this immediate flashback to every spring from high school until now. I remember nights at youth group, watching the boys throw the football. I remember going on walks around the neighborhood with good friends. I remember the time I tried roller blading with my best friend and falling into her neighbor's rose bush. I remember the text message Josh sent me that day at Delta when we met for lunch for the first time (with Kevin W). I remember the trip to Disneyland I took with Laura, Catherine, and Josh to hang out with our friends down there. I remember the smells of freshly made fudge at Hallmark. I remember the drives Josh and I used to take and the serious conversations we used to have on those drives.
But even though all these wonderful memories flood my mind, I can't help but feel a little sad. There's something about spring that does that to me. Maybe it is the fact that I will never be able to live those moments again. Maybe it is the fact that winter is over and I have to put away my sweaters and warm socks. Or maybe it is the fact that spring around here brings April showers, and they make me long for more of the sun.
Whatever the reason, spring bums me out more than it cheers me up. And yet, God still reminds me that He's with me, even through the spring. This is how He reminded me tonight:
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:12b-13 (NIV)
So tonight, in the midst of my blues, I am learning to lean on God more and more. I can do everything with God's help. I can conquer these spring blues. It is a new month and I am embracing it. I am looking forward to May flowers, May weddings, May birthdays, and May dates. I am going to be content in this spring and know that God is with me...and has never left me...
We had lots of April showers, so I am expecting some beautiful May flowers. In fact, I need some May flowers. Some pink tulips, and yellow roses, and white daisies. That would make things all better.
It's weird what spring does to me. Each year, when the weather starts shifting from the cold gusts of winter to the warm, gentle breezes of spring, I have this immediate flashback to every spring from high school until now. I remember nights at youth group, watching the boys throw the football. I remember going on walks around the neighborhood with good friends. I remember the time I tried roller blading with my best friend and falling into her neighbor's rose bush. I remember the text message Josh sent me that day at Delta when we met for lunch for the first time (with Kevin W). I remember the trip to Disneyland I took with Laura, Catherine, and Josh to hang out with our friends down there. I remember the smells of freshly made fudge at Hallmark. I remember the drives Josh and I used to take and the serious conversations we used to have on those drives.
But even though all these wonderful memories flood my mind, I can't help but feel a little sad. There's something about spring that does that to me. Maybe it is the fact that I will never be able to live those moments again. Maybe it is the fact that winter is over and I have to put away my sweaters and warm socks. Or maybe it is the fact that spring around here brings April showers, and they make me long for more of the sun.
Whatever the reason, spring bums me out more than it cheers me up. And yet, God still reminds me that He's with me, even through the spring. This is how He reminded me tonight:
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:12b-13 (NIV)
So tonight, in the midst of my blues, I am learning to lean on God more and more. I can do everything with God's help. I can conquer these spring blues. It is a new month and I am embracing it. I am looking forward to May flowers, May weddings, May birthdays, and May dates. I am going to be content in this spring and know that God is with me...and has never left me...
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