Moving Forward

It's taken me awhile to find the time to write this post.

I've been meaning to do it for a few weeks now but life has been very busy.

I've been writing this post every January for a few years now. I'm not one for New Year's resolutions but I like to share some goals and hopes I have for myself for the year.

I feel like I'm still working on some of my goals from the past two years: balance and letting go of fears. Both are getting easier and easier, but I still struggle with both daily. I'm trying to focus on how best to balance my two jobs and normal life stuff. I was exercising 5 times a week for awhile there but I haven't been doing that on a regular basis since October. I'm still going to Pilates every week but that's only one day a week. I know I feel so much better when I exercise on a regular basis so I need to find a way to get it back into my normal routine.

I also feel like I need to make more time to connect with people. Facebook has that On This Day feature that constantly reminds you of what you did on that day in different years. And I used to spend a lot more time with people one on one. My schedule is kind of hectic these days and I don't ever have a day "off" anymore unless I purposefully schedule one, so I have harder time finding the time to set up those one on one hang outs. But I miss them and I miss connecting with people that way. So that is one of my goals that goes along with balance.

One of my hopes for this year is to continue to strive to look more like Jesus. I feel like my faith has been stretched so much in the past few years and I've learned a lot and grown in ways I never expected to. I've had ups and downs, and I feel like I've gained a lot of wisdom, but I know I have so much more to learn. It's hard to describe all of it, but I really want to keep pursuing and keep striving and keep moving forward.

2016 was a good year. We had a lot of fun, we spent a lot of time with friends and family and we experienced a lot of changes. Life always has its ups and downs, but I'd say 2016 was a year of growth. I'm looking forward to the challenges and good times 2017 is going to bring.

Looking Forward

I've made it a little tradition the past couple of years to write about some hopes and dreams I have for the new year.

I posted about the results of my hopes for 2015 here, in case you missed it.

I think the reality of this being a new year hasn't completely set in yet for me. December was such a busy month that I felt like I barely had time to breathe or think, let alone do some reflection on my life and where I'd like to see it going in 2016.

While this last year was really fun and I have a lot of really great memories from different moments and conversations spent with loved ones, I questioned my purpose a lot. I feel like one of my biggest hopes for this year is to try and figure out what I should be doing with my life. When Josh and I first got married, I was planning to finish school to become a high school English teacher. After some things didn't work out initially for me to finish school, I started thinking that being a teacher might not be the best career path for me. Around that time, we also started doing the college group at our church and it took up a huge part of our lives for over three years. I loved being able to serve in that ministry for the time that we did, and I know God taught us a lot during that time.

While that was going on, we were also in the midst of really trying to get pregnant, only to realize that our plans and our wants obviously weren't what God had in mind for us at that moment in time. It was a really hard road to get to that point, but we are both much happier being on this side of the heartache. Even though we may never have our own children (biological or otherwise), we have gotten to a place where our little family of two is enough...whether that be forever or just for a few more years. So being a mom was what I thought my purpose was for awhile.

After doing the college group, we continued to be involved in other Bible studies and ministries at church. We were both involved in worship (me-singing, Josh-doing the tech side of it), and I was co-leading Bible studies with a few different women. Then leadership changes started happening in our church and we lost and gained pastors. In the midst of those changes and transitional periods, we both stopped being involved with worship, and Josh started to help out with youth again. I have more recently been involved in women's Bible studies again, but there was a period of time where I wasn't doing that either.

So when I say I need to figure out what I should be doing with my life, I mean in an area of service. It's hard for me to commit to something too major because of my body issues (the biggest reason I stopped being involved with worship was because being up on the stage for long periods of time with the stage lights was giving me migraines), but I know I need to be doing more than I'm doing right now. I just don't know what that all looks like yet, so I'm hoping to do some more praying and seeking to try and figure out where I can best serve.

I also still feel very strongly about encouraging women. I think it's something I've been good at (totally not trying to brag here at all, but I really do feel like it's something God has continuously led me to do in my life) and I really need to get into the practice of doing it more often. I've gone back and forth about different ways to make this happen on a more regular basis, so I'm hoping to get some clarity on what this could look like as a ministry or a way to best help others.

As for other things, I know I need to continue to work on balance and letting go of fears in my life. Both are going to take time, but I know it's important that I continue to figure out how best to accomplish both of those things in my life.

I feel like it's ok for this to be all that I'm striving for so far this year. I love the freshness of a new year and how it feels like a clean slate in some ways, but I also know that things change and happen at other times in the year as well. So if things do come up that I feel I need to be working on this year, I will add them to my list for 2016.

Here's to what lies ahead and hopefully learning and growing more!

Twenty Fifteen Part 9

Fall is officially here! Even though we've only had a few days so far that felt like fall weather, I am super excited!

We started off this month with a nice dinner with my parents. I love the times we get to spend with family and sometimes they are much too far apart!

Later that week, I had a wine night with my wine ladies. It was also a clothing party for a company called LuLaRoe. If you haven't ever been to a party by them before, they have super cute clothes!

The following night, I had a craft night with some friends. Since I decided last year I needed to get more crafty and decorate my house for more than just Christmas, I decided to make a few things to add to my fall decorations. I'm really happy with how the canvases turned out!

My canvases up with my Mickey ears wreath I made last year

The next day, we attended the wedding of two of our friends! We went out with a few friends beforehand and then headed over to the wedding venue together. The wedding was so sweet and the place they got married at was gorgeous! We had some much fun taking silly pictures and dancing the night away.

The following morning, Josh and I headed to our favorite place! We had so much fun! We were there for a couple of days and tried our best to stay out of the heat! It was very humid and unseasonably warm there, but we enjoyed the short lines and were able to see the new parade and World of Color show! We also tried out a restaurant we hadn't been to before. While we loved the food, we didn't realize it was outdoor-only seating. So we sweat a little bit throughout dinner. But it really was such a fun trip and I'm glad we were able to spend that time together.

After we got back, we found out about our friend passing away, which was so hard (I wrote another post about it here). We attended his memorial service the following week and I was blown away at how many lives he touched. There were over 800 people at his service. Josh was able to put together a really nice video that they showed at the service. It was a hard day, but it was good to see the faces of all the people that he loved him, and that loved him and his family in return.

The next weekend, we celebrated our niece's 4th birthday! I still can't believe she is 4! Time really does fly by. Josh's brother's family went camping for her birthday at a nearby campground, so we drove up on her birthday and had dinner and s'mores with them. The next day, we went back and had a family BBQ party for her birthday. It was a great time with family and friends.

The next day, we got to witness quite a few people get baptized at church. I love seeing how God moves in people's lives and draws them closer to Himself. It was a very powerful and emotional morning. Later that evening, we had a church meeting to find out updates about what's going on and what's coming up in the future. Josh and I are so excited for what God's doing in our church. It's such a huge contrast to how we were feeling early last year, but I'm so thankful for God's leading and for the leadership He has provided to our church.

Later that week, we had a fun BBQ with some friends and family. I love when we happen to have a day that isn't super busy that we can do something spur of the moment. It doesn't happen very often, so it's nice when it does.

The following day, we spent some time with friends watching a football game and eating baked potatoes, chili, and lots of other yummy foods. I am not a big football fan at all, but I love the fellowship and food that comes along with watching games.

The next day, I tried out an idea I wanted to do the week before, but it just didn't work out. I sent a text to a bunch of different ladies to invite them to join me at a Starbucks to hang out and talk. Four ladies were able to join me and it was a really great night. I'd love to do this more often, to just throw the idea out there, and whoever comes is meant to be there.

And we finished out the month of September by attending a going away party for the youth pastors at our church. Both of them had served in the ministry for over 15 years. They hired me almost 10 years ago to be a youth assistant, and I learned a lot during my time in that ministry. While it is sad to see them go, we are excited for what God is going to do in their lives, as well as in the lives of our youth kids and leaders.

Other highlights for the month:
My BCBs and I read a book called The Luckiest Girl Alive. It was definitely a crazy read and it has some gruesome parts, but a lot of it really made me think about just how powerful of an influence we have on other people's lives, as well as how easily we can be influenced by others.

We had other fun nights with friends and coffee dates. Josh was able to pick some cabernet grapes with some buddies that they are going to use to make wine! I'm definitely excited to try it.

Things God has been teaching me:
God has definitely been tugging on my heart to move in some different directions. Some of which I definitely would not have had on the horizon even three months ago. It's been amazing and also a little scary, but I'm really excited to see how He's going to use me in some different situations.

And that's a wrap! It's hard to believe this year is already 3/4 of the way over!

The Big 3-0

So I'm writing this in my last few minutes of being 29 (though technically I was born at 10:02pm on the 28th).

I've been excited that it's my birthday week, but I honestly haven't thought much about the number 30. It stirs up some emotions for me, as did quite a few different ages.

When I was in high school, my goal was to be married at 22, have my first kid at 24, and have my last kid before I was 30.

Obviously, God had different plans for me.

30 is weird to me, because Josh and I started dating when we were 20. We spent almost our entire 20's together. So it's weird to be starting a new decade of age with him (and to be coming up on our 10th dating anniversary).

I often think of myself as being younger than I am. I think because 25 was the last birthday I was somewhat excited to be getting older on, I often still think of myself as 25. I usually pause when people ask me my age and have to think about it for a minute.

But I'm honestly really excited about my 30's. Because my birthday is so close to the start of a new year, I often still think of new beginnings when my birthday rolls around. I'm excited to start a new decade with my man by my side. And I'm excited to see where life will take us in our 30's.

I still feel like the 90's were only ten years ago, even though it's been quite a bit longer than that. I still feel like I was a teenager not that long ago, even though it's been almost 13 years since I graduated high school. I still feel like "kids" that were born when I was in jr. high should be younger than 10, and they are adults now.

Growing older is a weird thing. The older I get, the more I understand why my grandparents would say things about "remembering it like it was yesterday". I don't feel like I've been alive 30 years, but I have.

This past month of being 29 has brought so many wonderful things. I have a new "nephew", we got to spend a lot more time with our nieces and nephew, we've had some great times and conversations with friends, and I think I may have found something that is helping me tremendously with my neck issues.

So while it's a little sad to be closing this chapter of being a 20 something, I'm so thankful that the last few paragraphs were filled with so many wonderful memories and experiences.

Onto the new...

Happy New Year!

2014 is now over.

While I am a little sad to see it end, I'm also very excited for a new year and the freshness it brings...as well as the many good (and bad) things that are coming soon.

A couple of posts ago, I talked about how I have a few hopes and dreams for 2015...as I am not a New Year's Resolution kind of girl.

One of those hopes is to figure out my neck issues and to be able to manage them better. As I have now been living with these issues for three and a half years, I'm ready for some progress in this area. I have learned some good methods of reducing my pain to help me feel more comfortable and to help me sleep better, but I would love to have this thing figured out so I don't have these restrictions any longer.

I also want to get more involved in encouraging other women through Bible study or something like that. It's been almost two years now that I was last involved in any sort of women's Bible study and I really feel like I need to be involved in one again. Whether that means I'm leading/co-leading or attending, I'm not sure. But it's something I feel I need to pursue this year.

There are also a lot of different possibilities I've been thinking on and praying about, and I'm excited to see what doors God opens and closes when it comes to them.

I'm really excited for some things that we have planned and some events that are coming up. I'm excited for the changes that are happening/going to happen in our church. And I'm excited to see how God is going to mold and grow Josh and I this year.

2014 was a good year.

Here's to 2015!

Change

I feel like I'm in this weird spot in life right now.

I went through a period of time a few months ago where I didn't want to be around a lot of people, because of some hard times I was going through. I was fine one on one, but being around a lot of people, who might ask me a lot of questions, was just overwhelming.

Soon after that, we experienced some big changes at our church. It's been an adjustment and a lot of things have changed in good (and maybe some not as good) ways.

Since then, I've had a hard time finding my place. We have had some recent changes in the Bible study we do and the men's Bible study Josh attends has also shifted and changed.

With so much change, I always wonder what it's going to bring. Is it going to be a rough time of change or a good one? Is there a lot more change coming or is this about it?

It's been hard for us to find our place this past few years because many of our friends have kids...and we don't yet. We have quite a few friends that don't have kids as well, but it's just hard sometimes being the only ones at an event without kids.

So, in short, life is just different right now.

I'm hoping to be starting a women's Bible study again sometime in the near future. I really miss and need that connection with other women and I'm excited for what this opportunity will bring.

I'm also looking forward to my birthday next week. I always enjoy spending time with friends and family, so it will be fun to be able to do that.

And, Josh and I have a couple of really fun things planned in the next couple of months. I am incredibly excited about both and can't wait to share more about them.

So, life may be weird and different and changing a lot right now, but it's still good. I just need to remember Who to keep my focus on in the midst of all of this change, and I will be fine.

Shifting

I feel like my heart toward blogging is shifting again.

I have had one of the toughest, most emotional years of my life...and it's kept me very closed off. There are many things I don't feel like I can share with the outside world...and yet so many things I wish I could.

I love blogging about what's on my heart and what I'm learning and struggling with, in the hopes that it will help someone else who may need to hear my words. But I also know that some things are just too much or too personal and can't be shared, in spite of what benefit they might have to someone reading them.

Because of this, my blogging has become more sparse...and most of the topics I do choose to write about have become very light and happy.

It has been good...going through this journey and changing and molding and adapting. I don't want to lose my love of writing and sharing my heart...but I also want to be sensitive and mindful of what I'm sharing.

Because I've pulled away so much, I've lost many of the connections I had with other bloggers. I would email other bloggers quite often and comment on their blogs. There were many bloggers I wanted to meet in person and have coffee with someday. I wanted to go to a couple of different blogger conferences, but was never able to afford the cost of getting there. And I've stopped doing many of the weekly link ups I used to enjoy so much.

Sometimes it stings a little to know that I've lost some of these connections, because there are some truly amazing female bloggers out there with incredible hearts. But one thing I noticed about myself when I was constantly trying to connect with these women was that I was disconnecting myself from the real world. I wasn't connecting with the women that were right in front of my face, in my daily life.

So even though it hurts a little to know that I've probably missed out on some amazing opportunities and conversations, I'm very thankful that I identified this problem. I have a hard enough time connecting with the women in my life right now, let alone women I don't even know in person. I need to focus on what's in front of me instead of on what could have been.

Ain't that the story of every area of my life...

With all that said, I really do want to make blogging a bigger part of my life. I spend far too much time wishing I was better at it instead of doing something about it. Like I do with many areas of my life. So, it's time to make a change.

I am excited to share my fall and Christmas inspirations, the pictures of our latest fun trip and all the fun stuff we have planned through the end of the year, and the things on my heart that I feel comfortable sharing.

A new season is quickly approaching (even though the weather would suggest otherwise) and it's time for a new season to begin for me in blogging.

An {Update} on the Baby Front

For those that haven't been following my blog very long, I shared my story here, as well as on Casey's blog here, about my issues with infertility (I still cringe a little typing out that word).

It's been a little over three years since I stopped taking birth control...and I still don't have a baby.

And, surprisingly? I'm actually pretty ok with it.

There are still days that I long so badly to be a mother. I mostly get that itch when I'm holding one of my nieces, or see a cute baby at church or in the store. But there are also many days that I don't think about it at all.

And while this scared me quite a bit at first, because I thought I was losing the desire altogether to be a mother, I really don't believe this is the case.

I think I'm just finally learning to be content with where my life is right now.


I've said multiple times in the past couple of years that if we had a baby, we wouldn't be able to do half the stuff that we've done (serving projects, overnight retreats, late night hang outs with our friends, etc.)...but I don't think I really believed that and meant it until now.

I seriously have been taking the time to really evaluate my life and what's important to me...and I've seen the things I've been able to accomplish and do. I would not have been able to do very many of them at all (or at least, not in the same way) if I had a small child right now.

While God knows this is still a very big desire of mine, He also knows what's ultimately best for me.

And, right now, I think that where He has us and what He has us doing is best...better than having a baby (at least until that changes, of course).

As far as the technical side of things, we are not pursuing any kinds of treatments or help or testing of any sort at the moment. We really feel strongly that for now, we will just wait things out and see what happens.

If you would have told me three years ago that in three years from that point, I still wouldn't have a baby, I might have fainted. But, having lived the past three years, I'm really ok with it.

I guess I'm really learning that God truly does know what's best for us. Even when we can't see it for ourselves. Even when we are so blinded by the deep desires and longings of our hearts that we refuse to see anything else...His way is always best.

And, as of right now, I am totally ok with that.

Recap

I am still having a hard time believing that Christmas is over and tomorrow is the last day of 2011.

I've had a very up and down week.

Not just because we are approaching a new year, but because there are some things going on around me right now that have me feeling a bit emotional. It's hard to know how much one should really share on a public blog, but I know that many of these things are too much of my life to be put out into cyber space.

I'm one of those people that tends to hold things in and push them to the back of my mind when I am busy and have other things to focus. It's definitely a blessing and a curse. And this busy holiday season, as enjoyable as it has been, has also been a nice distraction from the things threatening to spill out.

In many ways, I am sad to see 2011 go. A lot of wonderful things happened this year.

We took our second trip to CO to see our dear friends.
We took a trip to Disneyland to celebrate our wedding anniversary.
We welcomed two beautiful nieces into our family.

(Top left: CO, Top right: Women of Faith conference, Bottom left: Disneyland, Bottom right: Josh's ugly Christmas sweater party)

We went to a few weddings, wedding showers, and baby showers... just a few.
We went to our first ever murder mystery dinner party...and it was a blast.
I started working again at a job that I love and am so very thankful for.
We went whale watching for the first time.

(Top left: a friend's wedding, Top right: a friend's baby shower, Bottom left: murder mystery party, Bottom right: my sister's birthday party)

We went to a couple of baseball games.
We celebrated many amazing people's birthdays.
We had a few friends get engaged.

(Top left: Disneyland, Top right: my birthday dinner, Bottom left: a friend's baby shower, Bottom right: Christmas with my hubby's family)

In other ways, I am so ready to welcome 2012. I know that in spite of everything around me, God still has a plan, and I know His plans are going to be great for 2012.

(Top left: Christmas, Top right: Niece #1, Bottom left: Niece #2, Bottom right: White elephant Christmas party)

Yet one thing I truly love about looking back on a year is that, no matter how hard it was, the good always seems to outweigh the bad. And that, my friends, is a wonderful blessing.

Be safe and enjoy celebrating 2012!



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Out With the Old...

I have never been big on New Year's Resolutions.
I don't really see the point.
If you want to accomplish something or change something about yourself, why wait for the beginning of the year? Why not start now? At least, that's how I've always seen it. I quit soda one year for New Year's...and it worked for about three months...but then I'd had enough. I just don't think there's anything magical about making a resolution at the beginning of the year.
However...
I do love when it's time for a new year to start. Because that means everything starts fresh. Christmas has come and gone, and now it's time to start all over again. I look forward to the ball dropping, because it's like the end of one book closing...allowing a new one to be opened.
My 2010 book was full of lots of blessed memories. I created a collage of some of my favorites.
I got to be a part of so many awesome things this year...
Two celebration dinners on finding out the sex of two beautiful babies
Four weddings, one of which I was in
An amazing retreat with the women in my Wednesday night Bible study and some of my college group girls
The play Wicked with great friends
Our first try at having a BUNCO group. We made it a whole year!
The college group celebrated its one year anniversary
A trip to Colorado to see our dearly loved friends that moved back home
Two surprise parties, one for my hubby and one for a wonderful friend
Josh and I celebrated our second anniversary (in Disneyland!) and five years of being together...as well as our 6th Christmas!
A great friend and I started a women's Bible study
A trip to Yosemite with some awesome friends from church
An amazing missions trip to San Francisco
Many birthday parties and baby showers
I started singing on the worship team for church
The Women of Faith conference
And many other amazing, memorable events

It was a full year. There was rarely a weekend that we didn't have SOMETHING going on. But, that's the way I like it. I love being busy and spending time with those I love. I love being able to look back on my year and smile.
It was a tough year, too. We had to endure a lot of things that were not so fun. I had a lot of personal struggles that were very tough to overcome...some of them that I still deal with daily. But, through it all, I know God was working in our lives. I have seen so much evidence of that. And man...I have an amazing church family. The women in my Bible study...the students involved in the college group...those at our Wednesday night Bible study and at church on Sunday nights...words cannot express how much I appreciate each and every one of them. The encouragement and love they have shown me this year has been incredible.
2010 was a fabulous year. Yes, at times it wasn't very fun...but that's life. You gotta take the good with the bad and ride it out. I am very much looking forward to 2011. I know God has amazing things in store for us and I am excited to experience them!

No Stress, No Stress, No Stress...

Yep.

It's true.

The main source of stress in my life will be gone Friday afternoon at 12:30pm.



I am no longer employed.

And the crazy thing is? I'm not sad.

My blog yesterday should explain that very well.

But really...I thought I would be more emotional about the news...but the only emotion I felt was anger.
My employers have apparently known since November that my assignment would be ending this week. And apparently, one of them was supposed to let me know...and never did. Wonderful, right? I am beyond frustrated about this. Who does that? The only reason I found out about it was because my husband happened to have a conversation with someone today that knew about it...and assumed he and I both knew about it as well. Oh so lovely...
I am not usually a very confrontational person...but these people are getting an e-mail from me. I think it is totally irresponsible to end someone's assignment without telling them. What if Josh hadn't talked to that person today? Would I have ever been told? Or would I have shown up to work in January, only to look like an idiot to everyone at the school who knew I wasn't supposed to be there?

Sigh.

All frustration aside, it's kind of a relief. I don't have to worry about overprotective parents or being told "no" by a little girl or visits from different people who all have different ideas on how I should do my job. Maybe the next time I go to get a massage, my neck won't have as many knots in it.
I'm really trying to look at it as a blessing. God has a plan for me...and that plan is to prosper me and not to harm me...that plan is to give me a hope and a future. My future just obviously doesn't involve working with this little girl anymore.
I will miss the teacher...and the students...and the little girl a bit. She really is usually a sweet kid. And, many of the kids in the other classes know me by name and come up and say hi to me every day. I will miss that part.
But man...the good outweighs the bad on this one for me. God's got something better out there for me...whatever it may be...and I am excited to see where He is going to take Josh and I because of this.

Pressing On...

It's so weird to me...the way life works...
Two blogs ago, I wrote about the obsession that had taken over my life. And, how I had realized what was going on and decided to let it go.
It's amazing what letting go can really look like...
I haven't hardly struggled with it at all. I barely even think about it once a day. It's crazy to me that letting go of something that bound me so tightly has changed so much of my life.
I am still trying to figure out how to get everything in my life back on track, but not obsessing about that one thing has freed me so much.
I have this desire to just write and read and soak up so much in life. I just want to enjoy every second that I can. I don't want to go to bed anymore. I just want to stay up and learn and discover things I didn't know before. But, I force myself to sleep so I can energize myself for the following day.
I have been having vivid dreams lately, too. It's crazy to me. I used to dream every night...for years and years and years...and yet, they seemed to kind of go away the last couple of years. Not that I wasn't dreaming sometimes, but it seems like I'm dreaming a lot more...or maybe I'm just getting the right kind of sleep. Maybe trying not to obsess about things freed up my mind at night as well as during the day. Hmm...what a concept, huh?
I just feel different. I want to take care of myself, to get things done, to seek out others and pour into their lives. I've even been making it a point to try and put makeup on every day. That may seem like a silly thing, but I love experimenting with all my eye shadow colors and coming up with different combinations. It's like painting a tiny picture on my face, a picture I can manipulate and change every day to display something different, something exciting, something unique. If that's crazy, I'm ok with that. But truly, I think it's fun to put on makeup. These last couple of months, I haven't had a desire to do that. It's amazing how one little thing consumed my thoughts and changed everything I did in life.
I also am trying my best to just be me. To be the person God created me to be. To trust Him to lead me into situations, into people's lives, to do His will. It's not always an easy or fun road, but it's the road I've chosen, and it's the road that's bringing me a lot of joy in life.
I am reminded of my year verse from 2009. The women's Bible study I used to be a part of got together on the morning of January 1st, 2009. We made these really cool bookmarks. The main part of the bookmark is a verse. The other part consists of nine different colored ribbons, each representing a woman and her past and future. We each picked a color that we liked or we felt represented ourselves, and shared about our previous year and what we hoped the year 2009 would bring us. I keep this bookmark tucked in my Bible, in whatever passage we are going through in my Wednesday night Bible study. Each time I look at it, I am reminded of that morning, those women, and what those ribbons represent. I also love to read through the verse that we chose to use as our year verse. It is Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT):
I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be....I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I strain to the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.

That is what I want. I want to forget about my past and keep looking forward to what God has for me. It is the only way I can live my life right now, and it's the only way I want to live it from here on out.

So this is the new year...

Yep, it's almost here. So weird to think that we are heading into 2010...
I have been thinking a lot about this past year...looking through all the pictures of all the stuff we've done this year.
Two trips to Disneyland...
a sister trip to Monterey and two trips to LA to see the best friend...
a fun-filled Santa Cruz girls weekend for a friend's birthday...
many family and friend birthday celebrations...
five weddings (two of which were siblings' weddings)...
graduations of great friends...
a fun beach trip with family...
the Women of Faith conference...
our 1st wedding anniversary and celebration of being together for four years...
babies being born and conceived...
moving into a new place and rejoicing with other family and friends who moved into bigger places...
the blessing of new jobs and restored jobs for family and friends...
So many amazing things happened in 2009.
It's definitely had it's rough moments, but as I look back, all I see are the good times we've had. I am looking ahead to 2010 with great anticipation. I know many of the wonderful things we were able to enjoy this year will repeat in the new year...
More friends are getting married, having babies, and moving into new homes. We will have more birthday celebrations and graduations to attend. We will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary and five years of being together. But most importantly, we will be given the opportunity to wake up each morning and praise our Savior for the many blessings He's given us and the ones to come.
2010, you are going to be a GREAT year!!