You're Not Alone

I had coffee with a good friend today.

It's amazing how refreshing it can be to sit with someone and be honest with where you're at and what you've been dealing with...and to hear them say they've been there as well.

It constantly amazes me how God uses the body of Christ to encourage one another and lift each other up.

I feel so blessed to have some people in my life that really care about me and what's going on in my heart...and who want me to be a better person.

I write a lot on this blog about my friendships and how much they mean to me. While people change and relationships evolve with time and life situations, it's the friends that stick around for the long haul that truly are a huge blessing. I love watching the way things can change over the years...and yet that bond somehow always remains intact...even if it may be slightly different than it was to begin with.

My heart has been longing for some good ol' honesty lately...and today was just what I needed.

(pics taken on a short trip a couple of weekends ago)

I think that is why I have such a passion to help other women...because I know that all of us, whether we realize it or not, crave that gut level honesty in our friendships. We just want someone to know us...and not just on a surface level. It's easy to ask someone how they are doing in passing...but much harder to really take the time to find out how they are really doing. We are all guilty of it, but it needs to stop. We need to care more about each other and what's going on in each other's lives. It can't stop at the surface.

My hope and prayer is that all of us will find someone (or someones) we can confide in that will fill this need in our lives.

Purposeful

I've had a lot on my heart lately that I've been wanting to blog about, but today I am going to blog about something that I just came across.

I love Gussy and her cute blog. Not only are her products adorable, but I love her heart and how honest she has been in these past few months about her fears and her desires.

She wrote a blog today called {are you being [adjective] enough?}. She talks about a word she's been trying to use in her life to keep her moving toward her goals and the things God has called her to. And, she asked her readers what word they would pick.

My word would have to be Purposeful.

At the beginning of this year, I noticed how I'd lost some of my desires to pursue different things in my life. I realized that I needed to make some changes, but I didn't totally know how to do it.

As time has gone on, I've realized some of the areas I've needed to be more purposeful in. The first of those is in my relationships with other people. I know there are certain relationships that I had been neglecting, others that I hadn't pursued very much (even though I knew God was calling me to), and still others that maybe I needed to step away from for awhile. Being purposeful in my relationships in the past couple of months has been so freeing. I definitely feel like I've made some strides in the right direction, but I know I still need to make more.

I also know that I need to be a better me (eating a little healthier and exercising). I haven't been doing so well in the exercise department, but this liquid diet I've been on this past week has definitely helped me to eat a little better, as well as to not overeat. I love all kinds of food and would much rather eat something salty and unhealthy than eat a bunch of broccoli, but I know the broccoli is so much better for me. Adding spinach to my smoothies this week has been one of my steps in the right direction. I hope to keep making those steps even after I can eat normal food again.

 (This verse has also been popping up a lot. When that happens, I know to take note and hold onto it, because God is definitely trying to teach me something through it)

I'm also trying to be more purposeful in my prayers, in spending time in the Word, and in listening to God's voice. I've been challenged in all of these areas quite a bit this year. The importance of prayer was emphasized a lot at the retreat I went on and has been something I've been working on more since then. The #SheReadsTruth movement that Gussy and some other bloggers started on Twitter has motivated me to really dive into the Word on a regular basis. And, listening to God's voice has been big on my heart from the time I started my Bible study reading Priscilla Shirer's book, Discerning the Voice of God. I just know that in order for the above goals to be accomplished, I first have to be pursuing my God.

I also want to be more purposeful in leading others closer to Christ and sharing His truths with them. This has changed and evolved a little since the beginning of the year, and is changing yet again, but it is still my desire to keep encouraging others to follow Christ more closely. Even though a couple of my Bible studies have ended for now, I am hoping to go through one or two Bible reading plans with some of those women over the summer so we can stay connected with each other and with God. It's a huge passion of mine to pour into women as much as I possibly can, in whatever ways I am able to.

May we all pursue our goals with passion and purpose.

On My Heart...

Oh dear...this is gonna be a tough one.

One of my favorite bloggers is starting a new series on Fridays called What Is On Your Heart. Casey is wanting people to feel comfortable being vulnerable and talking about what is truly going on in their hearts. While not everything on our hearts may be hard to talk about, some of it will be. But, I've felt very challenged this year to share other people's burdens...and I guess it's time to share one of mine.

I read a blog about a week ago by another of my favorite bloggers. Kyle wrote about something very personal about herself that she is trying to overcome. It made me think about something I've struggled with for quite some time now...that I feel creep up in some occasions...and when it does, it totally freaks me out. It takes me back to the day it started...which is a day I don't like to remember. At all.

I like hanging out with people and having friends...but I always have this nagging fear in the back of my mind. I either feel like I'm boring or that my friends are someday going to stop being my friends or that they will find much sweeter, wiser people to hang out with instead of me. I think the majority of this fear comes from the fact that when I was in jr. high, my "best" friend at the time had a sleepover for her birthday...and some of her other friends that I didn't really know were there, too. I remember them asking me if I liked telling scary stories and I told them I wasn't allowed to...and they all started laughing so hard at me (including my "best" friend), and they started calling me a baby. I was mortified. I burst into tears and curled up in a ball on the bed, wishing I could be anywhere but there. But, I was too scared to call my parents and have them come pick me up, so I pretended to sleep as the girls continued to talk about ridiculous things.

Because of that, I feel like I constantly have this fear that people will think I'm ridiculous or stupid eventually. So I think I guard myself too much in friendships...or I kind of exclude myself from things so that I won't get too hurt. I'd rather sit on the sidelines and listen to other people talk than give my opinion and have people look at me like I'm crazy. It's such a hard thing to live with. I feel sort of threatened when my friends start hanging out with someone new...because I'm so afraid they'll like that person so much more than me and stop hanging out with me altogether. Ridiculous feelings, I know...but it's what I struggle with.

I'm even feeling very insecure about typing that, especially the part about being slightly threatened by my friends having new friends. I don't want people to think I'm rude or clingy or crazy...it's just truly a fear of mine.

And, I think this is the first time I've admitted it to anyone (well, besides Kyle. I sent her an e-mail about this after I read her blog).

I'm so freaked out about putting myself out there this much...but like I said earlier, I know it's important to share our burdens.

I don't know what is going to come about from this blog, but I'm not looking for sympathy or for anyone to feel like they have to change how they act around me. This is something I need to work on and get over...and I don't want people to feel like they have to tiptoe around me because of it. I seriously love and cherish every single one of my friends. They are amazing and have never done anything to intentionally make me feel this way...I just feel this way of my own accord often. But, I guess admitting it out loud means people can hold me accountable to this...and ask me how I'm doing with it. And, I know God can use this for His good...and I'm definitely ok with that.

So, that's what has been on my heart lately...

If you have something you need to share with someone, I am definitely here for you.

Stronger Together (All About the Ladies)

This post has been brewing for a few days now.

And yet, I didn't know how it was all going to come together a few days ago.

I have had some very important, needed, sad, and hard conversations lately. And yet, the conclusion that came to my mind after each one was the same: women are stronger together. What does that mean exactly? Well, let me explain it a little...

No matter what category(ies) in life you fall into...
Married...
Single...
Dating...
Engaged...
Under 20...
20-40...
40-60...
60+...
Mommy...
Mommy to be...

You need other women in your life. No matter what you may think. Even if you have a man in your life who is your best friend. He's not enough (no offense to any guys reading this). And, you can't simply have any woman in your life...you need Godly women in your life. And, not just ones to have fun with or have surface conversations with...ones that dig into your life and allow you to dig into theirs.
Remember that verse I shared in this blog?:

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6:2)

Women...well, we understand each other. We all have our off days. We all have those moments where we want to pull our hair out...and just need to vent to someone. We all have days filled with tears and sorrow...and just need a shoulder to cry on. We all have those wonderful happy moments where we are just bursting to tell someone...and have to call someone immediately. We also know when another woman genuinely needs space...and when she really needs some girlfriend intervention. And, if we are Godly women, we know when someone needs encouragement...and where to go to find those encouraging words.

I'm not saying at all that husbands or boyfriends are horrible or unnecessary. But, sometimes having a conversation about something super personal is just better with a woman. Besides, we just "get" each other...and sometimes the guys in our lives just don't.

I am VERY excited about some things that are coming up in my life that have to do with this very thing...women walking together through life...sharing burdens, fears, struggles, and the things that hold us back from living to our full potential. Because, we truly are stronger together. I know from personal experience, that the moment I allow myself to be vulnerable with another woman, or a group of women, I suddenly feel a lot more free. I don't feel like I have to hide anymore. I can just be open and honest...and not have to worry about being judged.

I am also feeling a much stronger burden to really be there for more of the women in my life. I am not working right now, so I have the time to meet with and talk to other women. Maybe this is the purpose behind me not working right now. Maybe God has me in this place for a reason. He's done crazier things in my life, so it wouldn't shock me a bit. I just really know that I have a lot to offer other women...and I know they have a ton to offer me. There is something so beautiful about women, that love God, spending time together.

I leave you with these words from James:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
(James 5:16)

Break Through

We met with our college group tonight, as we do every Thursday.
And like most Thursdays of late, we had a smaller group.
So many of our students are working or taking night classes and aren't able to be there every week. But, in spite of that, every week we still have great discussions and enjoy spending time with each other.
We finished the book of James tonight. It has been a great journey, in both our Wednesday study and our college group, to read through this book. For being such a short book, James is jam-packed with hard-to-hear but need-to-hear truths.
As we read through the fifth chapter tonight, I enjoyed listening to the discussion around me. The thing I love about smaller groups is that everyone seems to feel a lot more at ease sharing their opinions. I have so enjoyed watching the students in this group grow over the last 7 months. To hear the things they've learned from the passage and to see the lightbulb click on behind their eyes is so exciting to me. And tonight was no different.
I think one of the biggest things they walked away with tonight was found in James 5:16:
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
And also verses 19-20:
My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
I don't think it had ever really occurred to them how important it is to have people in your life that you can openly discuss your struggles with and ask for prayer, accountability, and guidance from. It was so great for me to see how excited they were at this concept.
I think it's truly freeing to be that open with another human being. God knows every single thought we think, every time we screw up, and every time we hurt over our sins...and yet, many times, we think we can hide from Him and He won't see it (which is ridiculous, but we still do it all the time). But when another person knows, it's that much harder to hide from it and pretend like it's not there.
There are very few people in my life that know about my struggles, past and present. I definitely try my best to hide the ugly parts of my life from people. But those that do know, those I have shared openly with, I have such a different bond with. I think it's because they know the real me, the true me, the WHOLE me...not just the me I let everyone see. It's so freeing to be that humble with someone, knowing that they want the best for you, and want to help you succeed in your walk. I am so thankful for those amazing people in my life.
I love watching these students experience a break through in their walks with Christ. It's so encouraging and it draws me much closer to the arms of my Savior.