Health

It's been about 7 months since I decided to start eating healthier. 

My initial intention wasn't to lose weight (of course that was an added bonus). I really just wanted to take better care of myself. 

I have been in chronic pain for the last two and a half years of my life. It has continually gotten worse and spread to other areas of my body. I have seen specialists, had all sorts of tests run, gone through two cycles of physical therapy, and I get regular massages, all to try and manage it. While some things have helped, nothing has been able to cure my pain. So, I started doing research online. 

One of the things I found out is that certain foods aggravate inflammation in the body. One of the major causes of inflammation is salt. And if you know me at all, I am a sucker for salty stuff. I would rather have salty foods than sugary ones any day. 

After reading all of this, I decided it was time for a change and time to try some new things. Changing the way I eat definitely wasn't going to hurt things or make me worse (unless of course I went on an all bad for you foods diet), so I figured I would give it a try. 

I stopped eating fast food all the time (I probably ate it at least twice a week on average). I stopped drinking soda (I was addicted to Coca-Cola and felt like I had to have one every day to survive). I started eating more fruits and veggies on a daily basis and started incorporating things like Greek yogurt and hummus into my diet. I also started eating fish and ground turkey on a regular basis instead of fattier meat choices. I replaced Coke with unsweetened green tea to get that little kick of caffeine and I pretty much drink nothing but that and water now. We hardly ever buy a carton of ice cream and keep it in the house because I will be too tempted to eat some every day. Instead, my freezer houses frozen berries to put in smoothies. 

Do I have days when I eat bad? Absolutely. We have gone on quite a few trips these past few months and I choose a lot of times to splurge a bit when we are gone from home (partly for fun and partly because sometimes I just don't have as many heathly options in front of me). But even then, I try to choose meals that have a lot of veggies or leaner meats and I will either drink water or iced tea. I have only had a Coke maybe four times in the past month (and that's actually a lot for me these days). I have yet to eat at McDonald's (except for an occasional caramel sundae) or Jack in the Box since I started this journey. And for a girl who was addicted to McDonald's fries and Jack in the Box tacos, that's a huge deal. The only fast food we ever really eat on occasion is In n Out and I never order fries anymore (I just eat two or three of Josh's if I want some). I often choose food off the lower calorie menus in restaurants. I also like to get Chipotle every now and again and order a burrito bowl with chicken instead of my previous steak burritos.

 

Most importantly, I feel so much better. I am a lot less lethargic and I even survive on less sleep (and feel like I get much more restful sleep now that I'm not drinking Coke all the time). I have a lot more energy throughout the day and I have noticed an improvement in my pain (it could be a combination of a lot of different things but anything that is helping to lessen my pain is a win in my book). I have lost at least 15 lbs (I don't have a scale at home on purpose, so that's as of over a month ago when I got weighed at the doctor's office) and I am down at least one pant size (I feel like I'm kind of in-between sizes right now). Some of my clothes fit better than they ever did before, some are way too big now, and I have been able to fit into others that I've had in my closet for over three years that I could no longer fit into. It's exciting and frustrating because I need to buy things that fit better now and I have so many clothes that I can no longer wear (being in Disneyland two weeks ago was frustrating because none of the pants/shorts I brought to wear actually fit, so I had to try and put my belt on tighter and I was constantly pulling them up). It's a blessing and I'm definitely not trying to be a complainer, but it's just a different problem to have when you're used to going up a pant size every year or so instead of going down one or two. 

But overall, I know I'm taking better care of my body. When you truly view yourself as God's temple and understand that He wants you to take care of yourself, it becomes less about what sounds good and more about what actually is good for you. Candy and chips and Coke aren't necessarily horrible things, but they're not the best things either. And when it comes to the way I eat, having these things on occasion isn't horrible. And my cravings for those kinds of things has decreased dramatically. I never thought I would no longer crave this stuff but I don't. 

Disclaimer: I don't share this to make anyone feel bad or to question the way they eat or take care of themselves. This is just something I felt like I needed to do for my personal health, and it was a great choice for me. 

Two

Two years ago, we got a very scary phone call.

(The day she was born)

(The first time I got to hold her!)

My sister-in-law had an emergency c-section six weeks early to deliver her daughter. Both of them had extended hospital stays and there were some really scary things that happened before and after the birth. Thankfully, God protected and took care of both of them, and my niece is one of the happiest, smartest, most adorable little girls in the world.

I still can't believe she is 2! She has grown up so fast.

(Her first birthday last year)

I am excited to celebrate her life today and to thank God again for the beautiful blessing it is that she and my sister-in-law are both here and healthy.

Being Intentional

After a fun week in our happy place, Josh and I had a nice, getting-back-to-normal week.

And even though we spent a lot of time together while we were gone, since it was just the two of us, we took some time when we got home to be intentional with each other. We had a fun date night in. We watched Tangled, and ate candy Josh bought at the dollar store and popcorn we had in the pantry. It was less than $5, and it was the perfect way to spend an evening.

We also went out to dinner together, to the place that we had our first date...and they actually sat us in the same spot we sat on our first date! It was fun to reminisce a little about that day and about our relationship. We also had a pretty serious conversation about our marriage and some goals we have. It was a beautiful night and one I hope to remember for a long time.

We also spent time with one of our favorite married couples and talked to them a lot about the importance of putting your spouse first. We all know people that have gone through serious trials and have been divorced and have walked away from God. We have all seen so many different scenarios play out. But Josh and I don't want to fall victim to temptation or laziness or complacency or anything else that could draw us away from each other. We want to make a point to be intentional with each other and to put each other before any other human on this earth.

It was a wonderful week and I feel so much closer to my husband than I did even a week ago.

Our Happy Place

So about this time last year, Josh and I started talking about what we wanted to do to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.

We have some goals and some things we have talked about doing in 2014. So, we decided that this year, we wanted to squeeze in some extra fun time...and our favorite place, our happy place, is Disneyland!

We got to spend a wonderful few days in the happiest place on Earth. We got to experience and try some things there that we've never done before. It may have been extremely hot and humid, and we may have been sweating all day, every day, but it was worth it. We have some precious memories to store away in our memory banks.

These are our "we're finally here" faces!

It really is tough to be a bug...

One of those fun things that we'd never done before was the Walk in Walt's Disneyland Footsteps tour. If you've never been on a tour at Disneyland (we never had!), I highly recommend this one. It's a little pricey but it's totally worth it for all that it comes with.

Us inside Walt's apartment over the firehouse on Main Street (you can only go in there if you go on the tour!)

The mist coming off this ride felt pretty good with the heat we were experiencing

We had to take our traditional pics in front of the Mickey flowers first thing in the morning so we didn't look too sweaty in the pictures

In front of the Monsters University door (trying to be scary monsters. Obviously)

We have a friend that works at Disneyland now as a photographer. We got to meet up with her and have her take some pics of us! It was really fun.

We ate at Ariel's Grotto for the first time and did the World of Color package. The food was so yummy!

A beautiful picture of Mickey's Fun Wheel while we were waiting for World of Color to start (FYI, if you stand right along the water's edge, you will get soaked. We learned that lesson the hard way)

Our beautiful photographer friend! We ran into her on our way out of the park on our last day there.

We had such a fun trip and can't wait to go back...hopefully when it's not as hot!

Marriage

We just started on a new journey with our little marriage group.

We are going through the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. So far, it's been pretty interesting.

One of the things I've found fascinating in the few marriage books we've studied is the common theme of how marriage is not supposed to be all about your personal happiness and constant romantic notions and love. Marriage is supposed to be about bringing you and your spouse closer to God...because marriage forces you to reveal and expose things in each other that other relationships won't be able to do on the same level.

It's been a hard concept for me to swallow, being the huge fan of chick flicks and Disney movies that I am. No one, not one single person, told me before I got married how hard it would be to be a wife, how it's not all mushy feeling all the time, and that you can actually "fall out of love" with your spouse. None of the marriage books I'd read before we got married even hinted at any of that stuff. Maybe that it would be hard...but they never really explained why.

Having been married for over five and a half years, I've definitely learned a thing or two...and I'm still learning every day. It is hard to be married. It is hard to choose to love another person every single day of your life...especially when you're pissed off and frustrated. It takes a lot of work to make sure that you are giving of yourself in the ways that your spouse needs you to. And it takes a lot of effort to spend quality time together (meaning time not spent in front of the TV or computer. Serious one on one conversation time).

The whole concept of putting someone else's needs before your own is just hard. Marriage has shown me time and time again just how incredibly selfish I am. We were talking in our group last night that even little things like giving your spouse the bigger piece of pie can be hard...let alone bigger things.

But that's what makes marriage so great. It is our responsibility to recognize our faults when they come up and do something to change them. It's not about changing our spouses into the people we want them to be; it's about our heart change...and about us drawing closer to God.

While it may not be the easiest thing in the world (and many days and in different seasons of life it can be the hardest thing in the world), marriage is truly a beautiful thing. Being able to intimately share my life day in and day out with Josh has been such a blessing. Yes, we fight and disagree and annoy the crap out of each other often...but we also point each other in the right directions, show love to each other in the midst of hard times, and try our best to be encouraging to each other.

It's the hardest relationship I've ever had to maintain, but it's so worth it.

Sneak peek from our fun trip last week!

On Being Myself and Friendships

One of my biggest hopes for this past year...well really the past two years...was to feel like I could be myself around my friends.

I have such a hard time sometimes worrying about what other people think of me. So much so that I often won't speak up or just stay quiet in situations where saying something is probably really beneficial.

I'm still not great at this, but I have definitely seen some major improvements in myself.

A couple of my friends who know me the best and have actually experienced the real me don't even live near me anymore. But it is truly so refreshing to know that I can pick up my phone and text or call or email them and pour out my heart or voice my concerns...and they totally know what to say. I definitely have this kind of relationship with some of my friends that live near me as well and it's such a blessing.

I'm not a perfect person. I screw up on a daily basis. I say and do things constantly that I know I shouldn't. But it's so encouraging to know that my friends still love me, still encourage me, and still want to hang out with me, in spite of all of that.

I really don't feel like I express my gratitude enough for my friends. I have been so very blessed with amazing people in my life that I seriously don't know what I would do without. God always knows what we truly need and He is so faithful in providing it. For a girl who spent many years of her life without friends or with only one or two, I truly appreciate His provision for this time in my life when I really need strong, amazing friends with beautiful hearts.

So today, I just want to say thank you to all of my wonderful friends. I am so incredibly blessed by all of you.

In Remembrance

On this day, the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I just wanted to take the time to remember.

As it is now 12 years ago, the memories of where I was when I found out and the horrible pictures and images we watched on the TV screen are starting to get a little fuzzy...and I don't want to them to. I don't want to forget.

It was a horrible day, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. My heart was breaking for all of the families who lost loved ones. For all of the people who lost jobs. For our country that would never be the same.

Yet it was also a very encouraging time. I remember people praying so much more. God and His love and provisions were talked about on national television as if that was the norm. Our country was brought to its knees and turned its eyes upward.

I don't ever want to forget that day and all that it brought and all that it meant.

This picture is still one of my favorite images. In spite of all the wreckage and carnage and horrible things, we still stand.

On that day, I was never more proud to be an American.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families who lost loved ones that are grieving today.

Shifting

I feel like my heart toward blogging is shifting again.

I have had one of the toughest, most emotional years of my life...and it's kept me very closed off. There are many things I don't feel like I can share with the outside world...and yet so many things I wish I could.

I love blogging about what's on my heart and what I'm learning and struggling with, in the hopes that it will help someone else who may need to hear my words. But I also know that some things are just too much or too personal and can't be shared, in spite of what benefit they might have to someone reading them.

Because of this, my blogging has become more sparse...and most of the topics I do choose to write about have become very light and happy.

It has been good...going through this journey and changing and molding and adapting. I don't want to lose my love of writing and sharing my heart...but I also want to be sensitive and mindful of what I'm sharing.

Because I've pulled away so much, I've lost many of the connections I had with other bloggers. I would email other bloggers quite often and comment on their blogs. There were many bloggers I wanted to meet in person and have coffee with someday. I wanted to go to a couple of different blogger conferences, but was never able to afford the cost of getting there. And I've stopped doing many of the weekly link ups I used to enjoy so much.

Sometimes it stings a little to know that I've lost some of these connections, because there are some truly amazing female bloggers out there with incredible hearts. But one thing I noticed about myself when I was constantly trying to connect with these women was that I was disconnecting myself from the real world. I wasn't connecting with the women that were right in front of my face, in my daily life.

So even though it hurts a little to know that I've probably missed out on some amazing opportunities and conversations, I'm very thankful that I identified this problem. I have a hard enough time connecting with the women in my life right now, let alone women I don't even know in person. I need to focus on what's in front of me instead of on what could have been.

Ain't that the story of every area of my life...

With all that said, I really do want to make blogging a bigger part of my life. I spend far too much time wishing I was better at it instead of doing something about it. Like I do with many areas of my life. So, it's time to make a change.

I am excited to share my fall and Christmas inspirations, the pictures of our latest fun trip and all the fun stuff we have planned through the end of the year, and the things on my heart that I feel comfortable sharing.

A new season is quickly approaching (even though the weather would suggest otherwise) and it's time for a new season to begin for me in blogging.