This year has been one full of babies.
Many of my dear friends gave birth to beautiful babies this year. Many others found out they were pregnant. And then there are a few who, like me, have either lost a pregnancy or are waiting for one, sometimes very impatiently.
I read a blog today by a woman who is raising money for a baby in a European orphanage. His name is Cliff and he is in need of a home. She is asking her readers to donate money to help with his adoption costs, for whatever family that decides to adopt him. If you want to learn more, you can click on the button on the sidebar of this blog, or click here .
I also know another couple, who are good friends with our friends in Colorado, that are adopting a baby from Ethiopia. They are raising money to be able to go over there to meet their precious baby. To learn more about their story, click here .
Since I have spent this year desiring a child of my own, I long to see other families have the opportunity to have a child of their own as well. In this season of giving, reflecting, and spending time with family, I am thinking more and more about these families and babies that need to be brought together. My hope and prayer is that all of you reading this will do the same. If you are able to help, even if it's not much, it will still go a long way. And, at the very least, prayer is such a huge blessing to these families. But, God does call us to serve, so I would challenge you to consider donating money to either of those two causes...or to someone else you may know that is in need of financial help this year. Babies are a beautiful blessing from God. Be a part of that blessing in someone's life.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Top Ten Most Thankful For
As I have been spending this Thanksgiving morning snuggled up on the couch, trying to stay warm, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, I can't help but be overwhelmed...because of the people, the blessings, the opportunities, and the times I've had this last year that have shaped and changed me...for the better. So, I decided to come up with my 'top ten most thankful for' for this year. It's hard to just choose 10, but if I listed everything, we'd all be here for far too long.
10. Josh's car. I know it sounds like a silly thing, but him having his own car enabled me to be able to go places during the day. When I wasn't working, that meant lots of spending time with friends. There is no way I would have been able to get a job without a car. It has been a huge blessing this year.
9. My job. After being unemployed for a little over a year and a half, this job came at the perfect time. It's been a challenge, but a huge blessing. I love the little girl I'm working with. I would definitely trade a few things about it, but overall, it has been a great three months.
8. Music. Again, this may seem like a silly one, but music has always impacted my life in so many ways. I started singing on the worship team at my church this year and it has been so healing for my heart in so many ways. I also have been introduced to a couple of different bands who have changed my life and the way I think. Music is a part of my soul and it always has been. It helps me connect with God in a way that I wouldn't be able to without it.
7. Our trials with conceiving. Yes, I am thankful for this. It's been a tough year. I definitely acted like a crazy person for a couple of months, but through all of it, I have learned so much more about trusting in God, what His timing looks like, and letting go of my wants and letting Him have His way. It's been an amazing journey so far and I can't wait to see what this next year is going to bring.
6. The college group. I am speechless sometimes when I try to express how I feel about this amazing group of young people. When we started this group, I had no idea what it would look like a year later. And, I can happily say that it has seen much growth. Not just in numbers, but in hearts. We have some awesome leaders in the group (who may not even realize it yet) that are going to do amazing things for God. It makes me so excited just thinking about it!
5. My girlfriends and our church family. Even though some of my girlfriends do not attend my church, the majority of them do. There are some women in particular that have walked this journey with me this year that have helped me grow, think, realize how selfish or ridiculous I was being, and pointed me back towards God. To name a few: Amy G., Emily O., Meghan P., Melissa D., Emily K., Kris G., Jennifer B., Lisa Z., Staci F., Laura B., and Angie D. You are all very loved and very much appreciated. And, to our church family...you are such a blessing! It has made my heart so happy to get to know new people this year, to get to know others better, and to watch my husband develop friendships with amazing men that have brought him closer to God. I am so grateful for where God has us.
4. My family. This one goes out to those who are "stuck" with me, literally. No, but in all seriousness, these people have been there through thick and thin, and for that, I am eternally grateful. My parents have never stopped loving me and have always encouraged me to follow my dreams. My sister has been my best friend since the day she was born and she is so important to me. My newer family, Josh's family, have been an amazing blessing in my life. And, to my aunt and uncle who just moved across the country...you are so special to me and I am thankful for you in so many ways. I am excited to come visit you someday!
3. Our trip to Colorado. Yes, this one has been mentioned in many blogs so far, and will probably continue to be mentioned. John and Emily have been such amazing friends to Josh and I this year. Our conversations on that trip helped Josh and I see some areas in our lives that we need to work on or move past. We fell in love with Colorado and REALLY hope God calls us there someday.
2. My husband. How do I even begin to put this one into words? I definitely have not been the easiest person to live with this year...depending on the state of my heart with everything. But he has stuck by me, been amazingly loving and patient, and has shown me more of what it means to follow Christ. I love him more and more every day. I am very excited to see what this next year will hold for us.
1. My Savior. I have not been the most trusting this year, but I am learning...and trusting more each and every day. His way is best and I am finally starting to truly hold onto that. I am so thankful that He choose to die on a cross for me and save me from my sins, all those years ago. I am so grateful for the opportunities He has given me to serve others this year. It has been a beautiful year with my Lord.
There are so many other things I am thankful for and could go on and on, like I said earlier...but I will leave you with this:
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. (Colossians 3:15-16 NIV)
10. Josh's car. I know it sounds like a silly thing, but him having his own car enabled me to be able to go places during the day. When I wasn't working, that meant lots of spending time with friends. There is no way I would have been able to get a job without a car. It has been a huge blessing this year.
9. My job. After being unemployed for a little over a year and a half, this job came at the perfect time. It's been a challenge, but a huge blessing. I love the little girl I'm working with. I would definitely trade a few things about it, but overall, it has been a great three months.
8. Music. Again, this may seem like a silly one, but music has always impacted my life in so many ways. I started singing on the worship team at my church this year and it has been so healing for my heart in so many ways. I also have been introduced to a couple of different bands who have changed my life and the way I think. Music is a part of my soul and it always has been. It helps me connect with God in a way that I wouldn't be able to without it.
7. Our trials with conceiving. Yes, I am thankful for this. It's been a tough year. I definitely acted like a crazy person for a couple of months, but through all of it, I have learned so much more about trusting in God, what His timing looks like, and letting go of my wants and letting Him have His way. It's been an amazing journey so far and I can't wait to see what this next year is going to bring.
6. The college group. I am speechless sometimes when I try to express how I feel about this amazing group of young people. When we started this group, I had no idea what it would look like a year later. And, I can happily say that it has seen much growth. Not just in numbers, but in hearts. We have some awesome leaders in the group (who may not even realize it yet) that are going to do amazing things for God. It makes me so excited just thinking about it!
5. My girlfriends and our church family. Even though some of my girlfriends do not attend my church, the majority of them do. There are some women in particular that have walked this journey with me this year that have helped me grow, think, realize how selfish or ridiculous I was being, and pointed me back towards God. To name a few: Amy G., Emily O., Meghan P., Melissa D., Emily K., Kris G., Jennifer B., Lisa Z., Staci F., Laura B., and Angie D. You are all very loved and very much appreciated. And, to our church family...you are such a blessing! It has made my heart so happy to get to know new people this year, to get to know others better, and to watch my husband develop friendships with amazing men that have brought him closer to God. I am so grateful for where God has us.
4. My family. This one goes out to those who are "stuck" with me, literally. No, but in all seriousness, these people have been there through thick and thin, and for that, I am eternally grateful. My parents have never stopped loving me and have always encouraged me to follow my dreams. My sister has been my best friend since the day she was born and she is so important to me. My newer family, Josh's family, have been an amazing blessing in my life. And, to my aunt and uncle who just moved across the country...you are so special to me and I am thankful for you in so many ways. I am excited to come visit you someday!
3. Our trip to Colorado. Yes, this one has been mentioned in many blogs so far, and will probably continue to be mentioned. John and Emily have been such amazing friends to Josh and I this year. Our conversations on that trip helped Josh and I see some areas in our lives that we need to work on or move past. We fell in love with Colorado and REALLY hope God calls us there someday.
2. My husband. How do I even begin to put this one into words? I definitely have not been the easiest person to live with this year...depending on the state of my heart with everything. But he has stuck by me, been amazingly loving and patient, and has shown me more of what it means to follow Christ. I love him more and more every day. I am very excited to see what this next year will hold for us.
1. My Savior. I have not been the most trusting this year, but I am learning...and trusting more each and every day. His way is best and I am finally starting to truly hold onto that. I am so thankful that He choose to die on a cross for me and save me from my sins, all those years ago. I am so grateful for the opportunities He has given me to serve others this year. It has been a beautiful year with my Lord.
There are so many other things I am thankful for and could go on and on, like I said earlier...but I will leave you with this:
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. (Colossians 3:15-16 NIV)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thanks Giving
This last week was so hard at work.
I don't know if it was because the little girl I work with was out for a whole week or what...but she was extra stubborn and extra distracted. It was hard for me to remain patient with her. There were moments that I would look at her and think, if you were my kid, you would be in so much trouble right now. But, the week is over and now I am on vacation...and it feels fantastic!
I started off my vacation with seeing the latest Harry Potter movie in the theaters...and boy, did that start things off right! The movie was so good...and kept to the book pretty well. I was disappointed in a few things that were left out or changed, but overall, it was amazing.
I have many projects and things I want to get done in this week off...including pulling out my Christmas stuff and getting it up as soon as possible! We are planning to get a tree right after Thanksgiving and are going to put Christmas lights up on the house. It's going to be such a wonderful Christmas this year!
But most importantly, I want to stop and remember to be thankful for everything in my life...the good and the bad. Thankful for the opportunities I've had this year. Thankful for the people who've stayed in my life...and those who have recently come into it. Thankful for the fact that I have a roof over my head and a car to drive. Thankful that we have food to eat and jobs that supply all our needs. Thankful for the college group and the young people we have coming each week. Thankful for our church family and the blessing they have been in our lives. Thankful for the sacrifices our forefathers made to come to America all those years ago to establish a free nation (no matter the state it is in right now...it definitely started off great). But most importantly, thankful for the sacrifice Jesus made for me, for all of us, all those years ago on that cross. I can't imagine the person I would be today if I hadn't made the decision to follow Him.
This year has been a tough one, full of trials, tears, and hardships. But it's also been a great one, full of laughter, growth, and amazing conversations. I wouldn't trade anything that has happened, because it has made me the person I am in this very moment. Yet I strive to live my life better, to serve my Lord better, and to be the best me I can possibly be. Because I know that living in fear or worrying about what's to come is not going to do me any good. I have to live for today, for the opportunities God gives me each moment, to serve and love Him and His people better. And that is how I am choosing to live this week...and hopefully the rest of the year.
If you are taking the time to read this, I am thankful for you as well. Many of you have been on this crazy journey with me this year and have read or heard about many of the things I've experienced. For the fact that you've continued to read this blog and the fact that you've stuck with me through it all...you are a blessing. It's much easier for me to process my thoughts by writing them down...and you have read them. Thank you.
This week of vacation is going to be fantastic. Bring it on.
I don't know if it was because the little girl I work with was out for a whole week or what...but she was extra stubborn and extra distracted. It was hard for me to remain patient with her. There were moments that I would look at her and think, if you were my kid, you would be in so much trouble right now. But, the week is over and now I am on vacation...and it feels fantastic!
I started off my vacation with seeing the latest Harry Potter movie in the theaters...and boy, did that start things off right! The movie was so good...and kept to the book pretty well. I was disappointed in a few things that were left out or changed, but overall, it was amazing.
I have many projects and things I want to get done in this week off...including pulling out my Christmas stuff and getting it up as soon as possible! We are planning to get a tree right after Thanksgiving and are going to put Christmas lights up on the house. It's going to be such a wonderful Christmas this year!
But most importantly, I want to stop and remember to be thankful for everything in my life...the good and the bad. Thankful for the opportunities I've had this year. Thankful for the people who've stayed in my life...and those who have recently come into it. Thankful for the fact that I have a roof over my head and a car to drive. Thankful that we have food to eat and jobs that supply all our needs. Thankful for the college group and the young people we have coming each week. Thankful for our church family and the blessing they have been in our lives. Thankful for the sacrifices our forefathers made to come to America all those years ago to establish a free nation (no matter the state it is in right now...it definitely started off great). But most importantly, thankful for the sacrifice Jesus made for me, for all of us, all those years ago on that cross. I can't imagine the person I would be today if I hadn't made the decision to follow Him.
This year has been a tough one, full of trials, tears, and hardships. But it's also been a great one, full of laughter, growth, and amazing conversations. I wouldn't trade anything that has happened, because it has made me the person I am in this very moment. Yet I strive to live my life better, to serve my Lord better, and to be the best me I can possibly be. Because I know that living in fear or worrying about what's to come is not going to do me any good. I have to live for today, for the opportunities God gives me each moment, to serve and love Him and His people better. And that is how I am choosing to live this week...and hopefully the rest of the year.
If you are taking the time to read this, I am thankful for you as well. Many of you have been on this crazy journey with me this year and have read or heard about many of the things I've experienced. For the fact that you've continued to read this blog and the fact that you've stuck with me through it all...you are a blessing. It's much easier for me to process my thoughts by writing them down...and you have read them. Thank you.
This week of vacation is going to be fantastic. Bring it on.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Trust...Revisited
I wrote a blog back in March with a bunch of verses I had looked up that had to do with trusting God.
I have also written many blogs about trusting...in fact, Trust is the most used category in all of my blogs. So, you would think I'd have this trust thing all figured out, right?
Well, you and I would both be wrong.
I went to the Women of Faith conference this past weekend with some of the women from my church. We had a very large group this year (around 85 of us), though we were split up into a couple of different sections. It was amazing to me, though, that our group of 30 last year multiplied into so many more. It was a fantastic time of tender worship, much needed laughter, amazing teaching, and wonderful concerts. It was a very refreshing end to a week of much needed rest.
One of the main things I came away from the weekend with was the word "Trust". Big surprise, right? One of the things that really hit me about it was something Sheila Walsh said (she is by far my favorite Women of Faith speaker. She was very powerful last year and was extremely powerful again this year). She said that a couple of years ago, if asked what the most important thing every Christian woman needed to do was, it would be to love God more. Now, she says she would say that it's to trust God completely, because out of trust comes that love. You can't truly love someone deeply if you don't trust them.
It was profound to me. It really struck a chord in me, because I think this has been my problem all along. I haven't truly been loving God the way I should be, because there is a part of me that just does not trust Him. It's the part that's been broken, beaten, torn down, discarded, and forgotten. None of these things being God's doing...but more His "not doing"...or at least that's how I always saw it.
The conference went on and many of the other speakers talked about all these horrible things they had been through...and how they had to come to the realization that God is still sovereign...and that through those things, God healed them and mended them in ways they could never have imagined.
I found myself thinking about the state of my heart this past year...the hurts I've hidden, the pain I've experienced, the trust I've lost...in both God and other people. I realized that I have had a veil up, in some of my closest relationships...because if I didn't let those people in, I would never be hurt by them. I didn't even realize I was even living this way until Sheila Walsh described a situation in which her husband confronted her about the very same thing. She wasn't truly loving her husband and son, because if she did, and they hurt her, she would lose all trust in them.
I know I am like this with God. I know I am like this in many other relationships. It's so much easier to live behind the veil, guarding myself from the actions or words that might break me. Yet, it's in those broken moments that God is there, waiting to pick me up, hold me, and help me learn to trust again. So many times, I stuff the feelings inside and deal with them on my own, not needing His help, or anyone else's, for that matter.
It's taken me a couple of days to sit down and process all of this. I came home and got caught up in the things that needed to be taken care of...instead of taking the time to take care of the state of my heart and mind...and taking the time to pour my heart out to God.
I know I am not done in this whole process. I know it's going to take time for me to truly work out what this will look like in my life. I know I need to spend lots of time with God, to learn to truly trust Him so I can learn to deeply love Him. I know I have many relationships that I need to work through and figure out how to trust those people more. And, I know I need to stop holding so many hurts inside and learn to truly let them out and let them go.
I am still longing, with all my heart, to be a mother someday. I know what God has promised me, and yet, I have slowly stopped trusting in His promise...because it hasn't happened. Yet, I read about Abraham and Sarah...and remember the stories of many dear women that I am close to that had to wait 4, 6, 10 years to have their first child...and I think, why I am being so impatient? God has a plan. He has it all ordained and knows exactly when it's going to happen. And I think, someday, when my child is 18 years old, I will look back on these days, and see how perfectly God orchestrated the timing of it all. Maybe Josh and I have more growing to do before the time is right...or maybe some trial is going to come up that I need to go through first before I get pregnant...or maybe God wants to teach me more of what it looks like to be patient and loving so I can demonstrate those things much better to my child. Whatever the reasoning, I am really trying to trust that His best is happening in my life...because I know that is what He wants for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. -Psalm 37:4-5 (NIV)
I don't have all the answers. I definitely don't have everything all figured out. But, I do know that trusting in my Savior is the only thing that is going to help me truly live my life...
I have also written many blogs about trusting...in fact, Trust is the most used category in all of my blogs. So, you would think I'd have this trust thing all figured out, right?
Well, you and I would both be wrong.
I went to the Women of Faith conference this past weekend with some of the women from my church. We had a very large group this year (around 85 of us), though we were split up into a couple of different sections. It was amazing to me, though, that our group of 30 last year multiplied into so many more. It was a fantastic time of tender worship, much needed laughter, amazing teaching, and wonderful concerts. It was a very refreshing end to a week of much needed rest.
One of the main things I came away from the weekend with was the word "Trust". Big surprise, right? One of the things that really hit me about it was something Sheila Walsh said (she is by far my favorite Women of Faith speaker. She was very powerful last year and was extremely powerful again this year). She said that a couple of years ago, if asked what the most important thing every Christian woman needed to do was, it would be to love God more. Now, she says she would say that it's to trust God completely, because out of trust comes that love. You can't truly love someone deeply if you don't trust them.
It was profound to me. It really struck a chord in me, because I think this has been my problem all along. I haven't truly been loving God the way I should be, because there is a part of me that just does not trust Him. It's the part that's been broken, beaten, torn down, discarded, and forgotten. None of these things being God's doing...but more His "not doing"...or at least that's how I always saw it.
The conference went on and many of the other speakers talked about all these horrible things they had been through...and how they had to come to the realization that God is still sovereign...and that through those things, God healed them and mended them in ways they could never have imagined.
I found myself thinking about the state of my heart this past year...the hurts I've hidden, the pain I've experienced, the trust I've lost...in both God and other people. I realized that I have had a veil up, in some of my closest relationships...because if I didn't let those people in, I would never be hurt by them. I didn't even realize I was even living this way until Sheila Walsh described a situation in which her husband confronted her about the very same thing. She wasn't truly loving her husband and son, because if she did, and they hurt her, she would lose all trust in them.
I know I am like this with God. I know I am like this in many other relationships. It's so much easier to live behind the veil, guarding myself from the actions or words that might break me. Yet, it's in those broken moments that God is there, waiting to pick me up, hold me, and help me learn to trust again. So many times, I stuff the feelings inside and deal with them on my own, not needing His help, or anyone else's, for that matter.
It's taken me a couple of days to sit down and process all of this. I came home and got caught up in the things that needed to be taken care of...instead of taking the time to take care of the state of my heart and mind...and taking the time to pour my heart out to God.
I know I am not done in this whole process. I know it's going to take time for me to truly work out what this will look like in my life. I know I need to spend lots of time with God, to learn to truly trust Him so I can learn to deeply love Him. I know I have many relationships that I need to work through and figure out how to trust those people more. And, I know I need to stop holding so many hurts inside and learn to truly let them out and let them go.
I am still longing, with all my heart, to be a mother someday. I know what God has promised me, and yet, I have slowly stopped trusting in His promise...because it hasn't happened. Yet, I read about Abraham and Sarah...and remember the stories of many dear women that I am close to that had to wait 4, 6, 10 years to have their first child...and I think, why I am being so impatient? God has a plan. He has it all ordained and knows exactly when it's going to happen. And I think, someday, when my child is 18 years old, I will look back on these days, and see how perfectly God orchestrated the timing of it all. Maybe Josh and I have more growing to do before the time is right...or maybe some trial is going to come up that I need to go through first before I get pregnant...or maybe God wants to teach me more of what it looks like to be patient and loving so I can demonstrate those things much better to my child. Whatever the reasoning, I am really trying to trust that His best is happening in my life...because I know that is what He wants for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. -Psalm 37:4-5 (NIV)
I don't have all the answers. I definitely don't have everything all figured out. But, I do know that trusting in my Savior is the only thing that is going to help me truly live my life...
Friday, November 5, 2010
Spinning in Circles
I feel crazy sometimes.
Not literally like a crazy person...but just like there must be something to explain away why my life is so busy all the time...or why I feel so overwhelmed.
I don't know if this all started when I started working again...or if it's this time of year...or if it's just dawning on me how crazy my life really is.
I made a commitment to make some phone calls this week...and I've had the stuff to make the calls since Monday...and I still haven't made them. It's not because I've been sitting around doing nothing all day and just lost track of time. I have had no time. And, when I finally do have the time, it's after 8pm, and that is definitely not a good time to make calls.
I got asked to do something else today that I would love to do...but I just don't have the time to do it. I feel horrible saying no, especially when it's helping someone else out, but sometimes I just have to.
I guess I am realizing that I can't spread myself too thin. I can't do everything. As much as I act like I'm Super Woman sometimes...and trust me, I definitely put the cape on some days...I'm not. I can't be in three places at once...doing three different things. I can't help everyone...as much as it pains me not to. I can't always do the fun stuff...the not so fun stuff has to get done, too.
But then I wonder if I'm filling my life with the right things...or if I'm feeling this way because I am overwhelmed with the things I'm doing...because I shouldn't be doing them. Do I have my priorities right? Am I doing the things God wants me to do...or the things I want to do...or think I should do?
I don't have an answer. I don't have the perfect solution. I just know that this has been plaguing me this week...and I want, somehow, some way, to be able to change something.
I just don't know how...
God, please help me.
Not literally like a crazy person...but just like there must be something to explain away why my life is so busy all the time...or why I feel so overwhelmed.
I don't know if this all started when I started working again...or if it's this time of year...or if it's just dawning on me how crazy my life really is.
I made a commitment to make some phone calls this week...and I've had the stuff to make the calls since Monday...and I still haven't made them. It's not because I've been sitting around doing nothing all day and just lost track of time. I have had no time. And, when I finally do have the time, it's after 8pm, and that is definitely not a good time to make calls.
I got asked to do something else today that I would love to do...but I just don't have the time to do it. I feel horrible saying no, especially when it's helping someone else out, but sometimes I just have to.
I guess I am realizing that I can't spread myself too thin. I can't do everything. As much as I act like I'm Super Woman sometimes...and trust me, I definitely put the cape on some days...I'm not. I can't be in three places at once...doing three different things. I can't help everyone...as much as it pains me not to. I can't always do the fun stuff...the not so fun stuff has to get done, too.
But then I wonder if I'm filling my life with the right things...or if I'm feeling this way because I am overwhelmed with the things I'm doing...because I shouldn't be doing them. Do I have my priorities right? Am I doing the things God wants me to do...or the things I want to do...or think I should do?
I don't have an answer. I don't have the perfect solution. I just know that this has been plaguing me this week...and I want, somehow, some way, to be able to change something.
I just don't know how...
God, please help me.
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