2018 So Far

I never got on here to share about my goals for myself for this year.

Honestly, I was feeling so overwhelmed in the beginning of year with life that I didn't really want to take time to assess goals.

Balancing life and letting go of fears are constants on my list every year. Because I'm still learning how those two things work. Also, if you didn't read my last blog post, I talked about how my pain has played into every part of my life. And that is something else I'm working on.

I'm still striving to look more like Jesus, and as I've mentioned before, that will always be an ongoing thing.

I picked a word for this year, something I haven't done very often. I usually look back at the year and see what word stuck out to me. But this year, I picked the word Shine. These are the reasons why:

1. I want to Shine in all I do. I want to be a light and a bright spot in the lives of those around me and in those I come in contact with. I want to Shine in my day-to-day and in my work.

2. I want to help others to Shine. I want to be an encourager to those around me to Shine in all they do in life. I want to help spur others on to achieve their goals and dreams.

I wrote those words out in my Color Street group on December 29th. Almost 9 months later, it makes me a little teary-eyed thinking about how this has already happened in many ways.

I don't talk very often about my Color Street business to those in my life (unless they are a part of this business). I don't mean I don't talk about the product (because I do), but I don't talk about the business side of it. I'm not the type of person that wants to bug anyone or turn anyone off. I don't want to come across as spammy. So I refrain from sharing things often because I don't want to annoy anyone.

But I'm going to share a little now. Because I've seen that second point happen quite often this year.

As I mentioned above, I wrote those words on December 29th in my group. That very day, I had my very first person join my Color Street team. My team continued to grow each month and is now 24 strong (at the time of publishing)!

I take my responsibility as a leader very seriously. I have always believed wholeheartedly in leading by example and in being the biggest cheerleader for anyone I'm leading. This is the first time I've been in this type of leadership position. It is definitely challenging at times, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges.

I have literally watched girls on my team achieve huge goals and dreams in their lives. I have celebrated their achievements in Color Street, but also their achievements outside of Color Street. I have mourned with them, I have cried with them and I have cheered them on from the front row. I have watched them Shine.

A lot of hard things happened this year. A lot of really beautiful things happened this year. And a lot of in-between things happened this year.

But I am still striving for my goals for this year. I'm still striving to Shine in all I do. I'm still learning to be a better version of me. I'm still learning how to balance life and let go of fears.

I've cried many tears. I've laughed a lot. I've squealed with delight. I've felt tired and worn out.

But I keep going. I keep moving forward, I keep striving and I keep loving on those around me.

That is how my 2018 has been so far.

Oh Three. Two Oh One Seven

It's nearing the end of April, so I think it's time to post about March!

March was another busy, but fun month.

We went to a celtic festival with my family. It was one we had gone to when I was younger, and neither of the boys had been. It was fun but not nearly as fun as I remember. Time changes and things change, I suppose. But it was nice to spend the day with my family!

I went wine tasting twice. The first time, Josh and I went with our friends C.B. and L.B. to celebrate my late birthday and L.B.'s early birthday! The second time, I went with L.B. and some other friends to celebrate L.B.'s birthday...and then we headed to her surprise party! Both were really fun days. I'm so thankful that I've had L.B. in my life for over 14 years now!

I also went on the women's retreat with my church, which was a lot of fun! The place we stayed at was right on the beach and the weather was perfect (after it finished raining, of course)! I'm so thankful for the time that I had to connect and re-connect with some amazing women.

Some other fun things that happened:

Josh passed his final tests for work! I'm so proud of him and all his hard work. He's had such a busy year and a half, and now he feels like he can finally relax a little!

I also have been able to spend some time with my friend E.K. and her kiddos. I'm so thankful they've been in the area so I could see them.

And that was March! I'll be back (hopefully) in the next two weeks with April's post.

Oh Two. Two Oh One Seven

It's nearing the end of March and I'm just now getting to February! Life has been crazy busy but I wouldn't have it any other way!

February was jam-packed with lots of LuLaRoe goodness! I had multiple in-home pop-ups, I went to an amazing training (and met the founder of LuLaRoe!) and fell more in love with this small business of mine. It has required a lot of hard work and sacrifice but it has all been so worth it!

Me and the beautiful founder of LuLaRoe!

I'm learning more and more about being a safe person and how important it is to have safe people. I really think our pastor bringing this topic up when he did was such perfect timing, as I've been wanting to spend more time with people one-on-one.

We also celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! It's so crazy to think that we've been married for 9 years! Even harder to believe how close we are to 10 years! Time really does fly by when you're having fun!

We totally forgot to take a picture when we went out to dinner so we had to snap a quick selfie in our pj's instead!

We also took our anniversary trip to our happy place! I'm planning to write a separate post all about that.

Two down, ten to go!

Oh One. Two Oh One Seven

I struggle often with what I should share in this space.

Part of me thinks blogging is a dying art and I should give up on it. After all, I use it mostly as a "diary" these days to give a summary of what we do each month. Posts about anything else are so few and far between.

And it's not because I don't have things I could share. I more struggle with the time to be able to do so. And knowing how much is too much to share.

So I've kept things very simple the past two years, because that is what has worked the best for me.

Many people started reading this blog after I started to share our journey with infertility. I always meant for this space to be somewhere where people could come and find encouragement or comradery or a safe place to land. And I'm not sure it's always been that place this past few years.

So with this new year, I've been trying to figure out if I'm going to continue to write monthly posts or try to use this space more for it's original intended purpose.

And I haven't really come to a good conclusion.

So for now, I'm just going to write when I feel like it and see what happens.

****

We've been talking at church the past few weeks about being safe people for others. And how each of us should have 3-10 safe people in our lives. It struck my heart so much because I've craved those kinds of relationships my whole life. And because I strive to be a safe person for all of my friends.

I'm so thankful to have quite a few safe people in my life. I may not have had many (if any) in jr. high or very many in high school but I'm so thankful that I have many safe friends as an adult.

Being a safe person means being someone that listens, that gives their full attention, that is trustworthy and that doesn't try to fix things or offer advice immediately. Safe people are not judgmental and allow people to feel and express themselves as they need to.

One of my goals for this year is to spend more one-on-one time with people, as I have in the past. I want to be a safe person that people feel comfortable sharing their hearts with. And I think these two goals go hand in hand.

There's been so much division and hatred in our country in the last few months (not that it didn't exist before, because it obviously did. But it's come to the surface more in recent months). I just want to love people better. Even if I don't agree with them. Especially if I don't agree with them. And that starts with being a safe person.

****

January has always been one of my favorite months. Partly because it's a new year (and right after my favorite holiday, Christmas), and partly because it's the month I was born. January just always makes me excited for the future and for the year ahead.

This January was a good one. It was a month full of birthday celebrations, for myself and for others.

 P.W.'s 2nd birthday party!

 Wine tasting for mine and A.B.'s birthdays

Me and my fellow January birthday friend

 Dancing with some friends for mine and R.J.'s birthdays

I'm so thankful for these moments and for these people. Here's to February!

Naivete

I feel like I spent a good portion of my life being pretty naive about things in life in general.

If you would have asked me even 10 years ago if my life would look the way it does right now, with the people in it, I would have said you were crazy.

I don't think I was stupid. I don't think I expected life to be perfect (well, maybe I did a little bit). But I don't know that I was aware of how much bigger the world really was compared to what I had known of it.

I know I'm being kind of vague, but I guess the point of this post is to express how much differently I view the world as a 31 year old than I did as a 21 year old. Having gone through some incredibly hard things myself in the past 10 years, as well as walking through some really hard stuff with friends and family, I just feel a lot differently about life.

My faith has had its ups and downs, but I know God has never left me. I may have doubted Him at times, but He's always been there. I may not understand everything or know how some of these hard things fit into His plan, but I know He's still in control. And I know I would say those same things 10 years ago, but I had no idea back then just how hard life could be.

I often think of the people in my life. The people that have stuck by me, the ones that I grow closer to each and every day, and the ones that have drifted away. I've said in the past that there are seasons for every relationship and I still believe that...to an extent. I think that sometimes it's easy to use that phrase when we want to walk away from a friendship or things aren't going the way we want in a relationship, so we chalk it up to being a "season". But I think sometimes the best friendships, the ones that really matter to us, take really hard work. It's not always easy to be there for people who don't seem to want to be there for us. It's not always easy to have long distance friendships with people. It's not always pleasant to have real and honest conversations with people about the way they treat us. It's not always easy to make time for people. But if we really care, if we're really invested and want the relationship to last, we have to put in the hard work.

This transition our church has been in for the past three + years has been one of the hardest things I've ever endured in a church. I can't tell you how many times I've been ready to throw in the towel and move on. But I know that's me talking. Sometimes life is hard and we just have to endure some hard things before they get better, or before it really is time to move on. I know that right now, I'm supposed to be involved with women, and that is what I'm pursuing. I've taken some steps in that direction and I'm excited to see what God does with it. It will not always be easy, but I keep reminding myself that the church is the people. Not just a few people, but all of them. And every single one of them needs encouragement and love and support.

I have a tendency to be really negative and focus on the bad stuff in life. I try hard not to, because I know there are so many good things. And if I look back on the last 10 years, I do see a lot of really good and beautiful things. It's definitely harder for me to see the good stuff day-to-day. But if I look at the whole picture, it's much easier to see. I think sometimes we have to take a step back and really look at our lives. What do they consist of? Is it all bad? Probably not. Is it all good? Definitely not. But that is what life is made up of: really hard stuff mixed in with really beautiful and wonderful stuff. God never promised us life would be easy, but that doesn't mean it's not worth pushing forward.

So all this to say, I wish I could tell 21 year old me to just hold on. Life can be very bumpy and rocky, but it can also be really smooth with some great views along the way. Life is bigger than what we see directly in front of us. And it really does paint a beautiful picture.

A Couple of Lessons about Social Media

Some of you have probably either seen the On This Day function that Facebook has, or maybe you have the TimeHop app. Both of them function in the same capacity in that they show you what happened on this day however many years ago.

I like to look back on stuff sometimes, just to remember what life was like. I've had Facebook for over 8 years, so there's a lot of memories and events on there that I may not remember. 

Unfortunately, sometimes things pop up on there that I'd rather forget. 

I've come to realize that I used to use social media as more of a journal back in the day, something that I don't think is beneficial for me now. Because of how I used it, I wrote posts or said things that now I wish weren't in cyberspace somewhere. 

I've learned in more recent years how much of an impact what we say and post on social media can have our own lives, as well as on the lives of those around us. 

So, I'd like to share a few of the important lessons I've learned, or am learning. Not only to be an encouragement to others on some things to think about, but also to remind myself of some important truths.

1. The pictures and events people post about on social media are only a snapshot of their lives. I think it's really easy for us to see all the cool things others are doing and become jealous or sad because our lives don't look the same way. I've been reading this book called For the Love by Jen Hatmaker and she talks about this very thing. It's really easy to think that we should be doing all the things that everyone else is doing. Specifically for women, we see one friend is an excellent cook, one friend is super crafty, one friend seems to have an open door policy for friends in need to come over whenever, and another friend has the cutest dressed family ever...and we feel like we need to combine all of those things in our lives...when in reality, no one women can be perfect at all of those things and be sane! It's important for us to remember that social media just shows mostly the good or fun moments in people's lives, and we aren't expected to live up to anyone else's standard. We should just be striving to do our best for God and the rest will fall into place. Let's stop being jealous or hurt from what we see and instead be encouraged to live our lives the way we've been called to live them.

2. If the things we post on social media aren't things we would say to a person's face, we probably shouldn't post them. One of the posts I came across recently that I wrote awhile back was one of those vague ones about being upset with someone without saying their name. And so, of course, others commented on it and wanted to know what was going on. The problems with these kinds of posts are many. Not only am I talking about someone without talking to them, I'm involving others in the situation that don't need to be involved. I'm also being hurtful not only to myself, but to the person I'm posting about. It also lessens my credibility and my witness to those reading it. There's a pattern set up for us in Scripture on how to deal with the people we have issues with. 

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

(Matthew 18:15-17, ESV)

Those are the words of Jesus. And by this definition, posting something vague on Facebook or even "confronting" someone directly on their wall or their post is in direct violation of the way things should be handled. If I'm willing to be so "bold" as to post something about a problem I have with someone, yet am unwilling to say those words to their face, I have no business posting anything on social media. Being a person who does not enjoy confrontation, I know how much easier it is to hide behind a screen instead of having a hard conversation with someone, but that's just not the way it should be. 

3. Posting things on social media makes it much easier for others to misunderstand where we are coming from. This applies for text and email as well. Because you can't see or hear the person's words, it's a lot easier to think someone is being serious when maybe they meant for it to have a tone of sarcasm. Or maybe they are giving you a compliment and you read it in a mean tone instead. Vocal inflections and facial gestures give us so many hints when we are speaking face to face, which is something that is completely lost behind a screen. Because of that, I try to use emoticons to express what my face would be doing in those conversations. I know it doesn't solve the problem, but it helps. Sometimes a misconstrued text will cause a face to face conversation to happen, because someone thought I was being rude when I wasn't meaning to come off that way. So while social media can be a great communication tool, it shouldn't be our only communication tool.

Maybe you've learned other lessons than these (like not sharing a political opinion unless you're willing to hear everyone else's opinions), but these are the big ones for me. I think we need to stop and think (or even pray) before we post and comment on social media. Otherwise, it may come back to bite us in the cheeks one day.

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

(Colossians 4:6, ESV)

Retreat 2015

I went on my church's women's retreat this month.

One of our friends wasn't able to join us this weekend, so we took lots of pictures with her plate

This was my second church-sponsored women's retreat, but it was my fifth retreat. Our old Bible study used to put on our own men's and women's retreats each year, and they were so incredible. So full of Jesus and learning and worship and drawing closer to each other.

Our group after a beautiful walk

While I shouldn't compare the two at all, because they are vastly different, it was a little rough at times. But thankfully, the women I went with wanted to make this weekend about Jesus and about living life together, and those two things happened.

At lunch. So delicious!

We started off our weekend by eating at a yummy Greek restaurant on our way. I tried lamb for the first time in Vegas and I loved it. This place had gyro bites with lamb beef and it was delicious! My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

 Before dinner on Friday night

A little bestie love

The rest of the weekend involved sessions (our speaker was amazing!), game time (which some of us didn't participate in), a yoga stretch class (which was super relaxing), a talent show, small groups, and a lot of free time (which we used to do some quiet time and to talk about Jesus).

 At our session Friday night

After our yoga class

My small group

I also had some wonderful talks with my girlfriends about life and Jesus. We went on a couple of lovely walks and were able to admire God's creation. We prayed for one another and cried together and just encouraged each other. I know that this weekend would not have been the same without those beautiful women and the truths that they spoke.

My beautiful friend L.B. and I. We were teaching her how to play blackjack

Before our session on Saturday night

I came home exhausted from lack of sleep, a little sore from the beds and the yoga, but my heart was full of love for my Savior and for these amazing women in my life.

We found a beautiful outdoor cathedral on our walk Sunday morning. This is the picture I took there 

Before our final session Sunday morning. I love these women so much!

Photo cred: some of my beautiful friends, as well as the women's retreat photographers. I barely took any pics!

On My Mind

I haven't done a very good job of sharing my heart in this space lately.

I think for privacy reasons and for feeling like there are a lot of pieces of my story I can't share, (because part of it involves other people's stories) I've been very nervous to share anything.

So while there are things I can't talk about, there are some things I feel I need to say.

My family suffered a great loss over a year ago. It's something that still hurts and still brings a lot of sad thoughts and feelings. It's something I don't think we will ever fully "get over" and I don't think we are supposed to.

That term "get over" really bothers me. I think we assume that once "enough" time has passed, people should just be able to move on from their hurt feelings. But life isn't that simple. Loss isn't that simple. Hurt and pain are not that simple. The memories don't just disappear. Your love for someone doesn't just go away overnight. The pain may lessen and the memories may not pop up as often, but that doesn't mean we've gotten over it.

A lot of the people I love the most in this world have been and are currently dealing with very painful situations. Separation from loved ones (not by choice), cancer, betrayal, physical ailments, etc. The kinds of things that make one question God's love for His children. While I don't always understand why these situations are happening and while I don't always understand God's ultimate plan for our lives, I can say that I've seen Him evident in every single situation. I can say that I've seen Him mold and change and grow people to look more like Him through these hard times. I can say that I have seen beauty come up from these ashes.

Prayer is one of the things I struggle with the most. It's not that I don't pray, but I'm not very consistent with it. And when I do pray, it's often for someone else or for one of these situations mentioned above. I have a harder time praying for myself, because it sometimes seems selfish when I compare my thoughts and needs to those around me. But I know deep down inside that it's not about whose need is greater, because we all need God. My need for Him is just as great as yours, even if our situations are much different.

And I think that's what He's teaching me the most right now. That my need for Him is not determined by how hard my life is or how ok I might think I am. It's determined by my daily, hourly need of a Savior, of someone to love me and lead me in the direction He wants me to go. I can't and shouldn't try to do life on my own. I need His help and His wisdom and guidance every single second of my life.

My BCBs and I recently finished reading The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. While I had read it before in high school and remembered a few things about the story, there was so much that struck me this second time around. The faith and trust that both Corrie and her sister showed was incredible. The way that God used them before, during, and after their time in the concentration camp is so inspiring to me. To be that open and that in tune with God is something I definitely long for. Reading those pages again made me realize just how little my actions reflect my need for a Savior on a daily basis.

So while I may feel like my current situation in life is not as hard as the situations in the lives around me, my need for God is not any less. In the good times and bad, I need my Savior.

Heavy

There has been a lot of stuff going on in the lives of those around me lately.

Heavy, heavy stuff...

I sat down last week and thought of each person and situation...and realized just how many people I love are going through really tough trials right now.

It's heartbreaking and overwhelming, but the one thing we have all been able to cling to through it all is that God is still in control, He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him, and He has not left us or forsaken us.

All I can do in the moments when I feel so overwhelmed and sad is pray.

It seems simple, but it truly is the only thing I can offer that I know does make a difference.

When I was younger, our Kid's Church program took over a Sunday morning service. We sang our worship songs, played some of our games, and went through one of our teachings. The teaching was on prayer and the main message we left for the congregation was that Prayer Changes Things. Many people in the church remembered that simple phrase, and it was used a lot in the years to come. It's easy to remember, but it's also very true.

It's hard sometimes, because when we don't get what we want, we often feel like our prayers don't make a difference or that they aren't "working". But that is so far from the truth. Even though God knows about each and every situation in the lives of those around us, He still commands us in His Word to pray for one another.

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

(James 5:13-16, NIV)

Healing does not always come on this side of eternity, nor are all of our problems automatically solved with a few simple words offered up in prayer. But our first response in all situations, good and bad, should be to talk them over with God. Whether it be a situation we want to change or a situation that we are thankful for, it's important that we take the time to talk to God about it.

In the midst of all these trials surrounding me, a couple of songs have really ministered to my heart. I've shared them with a few friends because the words are just so powerful and true. One is Promises by Sanctus Real (I attached the video below) and the other is You Are by Colton Dixon. If you have not heard either one, or haven't really listened to the words, I would encourage you to do so. They are both beautiful and often bring tears to my eyes.

This time in my life has been a hard one. It hurts me to see and experience the things going on with the people I love. But I also know that God still has a plan, and I either have to trust Him...or not trust Him at all. I can't just trust Him when life is going good. It's always or never. Even though I don't understand everything, I am thankful that He does...and that He will turn all of these situations into good...somehow, some way.



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The Need for Balance

I have been thinking a lot lately about my heart for this blog and my need for balance.

About a year ago, I sensed major change coming in my life. And it came...and it came...and it came again.

I have been experiencing a lot of change this past year.

Things I never would have expected to happen in my heart have been happening.

And yet, I know there is still that part of me that holds back, that doesn't want to embrace the changes, because I'm too comfortable where I'm at.

I started singing on the worship team at church again, after taking almost a year off. When I first stopped singing, it was kind of nice. My schedule was a lot more free, I didn't feel like I had to be anywhere on Sundays anymore, and I just felt a little relieved, to be honest. I really didn't see myself going back to it. And yet, God called me back. He spoke through a few different people in my life and made it very clear that He wanted me in that role again.

And honestly? It's been a huge blessing.

But, that is only one change I've had to deal with...and that one was pretty painless compared to some of the others.

For someone who has experienced a lot of disappointment and faced the reality that many of my dreams may not turn out the way I hoped, change can be very difficult.

Yet in everything I've been studying, or hearing from other people, or reading about, one thing keeps coming up: life will bring disappointments, I have to make a choice how I'm going to respond to them, and I can't get through them without God's help.

My church hosted a women's conference a few weeks ago. The woman who spoke was a.maz.ing. It was very apparent to me (as well as to every other woman in that room I am sure), that she was speaking God's words that day. Everyone I talked to felt like God was speaking directly to them with the words she was saying. It was that spot on. I honestly had never experienced that in such a powerful way before.

The craziest part? The things she spoke on lined up exactly with what my women's Bible study was going over that week. Taking thoughts captive and not allowing lies and the negative things we tend to believe about ourselves take root. Acknowledging that those thoughts are not of God and learning how to refute them and how to not allow them to creep in so easily. It was so good and so needed.

The part that spoke directly to me was hard to hear, but it made so much sense to me. She made a statement that maybe God is not giving you what you want because you would be satisfied with that and not with Him.

Ouch.

And yet, I know it's true for me. With as many months as it's been since I first longed for a baby, and in spite of all the ways I've grown and all the things I've learned in this process, I know myself...and God knows me, too. I would lose sight of Him. Oh, I would be really happy at first and I would be thanking Him all the time. But how quickly would that fade when that little person came into this world and I had everything that I have been wanting for so long? Would I really need God anymore at that point?

It's really hard for me to type that out, but I'm just being honest. I know my personality and I know I would probably lose sight of God pretty quickly in the midst of all of that. Not that I would completely turn my back and never follow Him again...but He would definitely be a lot lower on the totem pole.

(this picture makes my heart melt)

My heart for this blog for the last few years has been to share my story...all the good, the bad, and the ugly...because maybe God will use my words to speak to one of you. Maybe the things I've gone through or the things I'm still struggling with will encourage you to walk closer to Him and to trust Him more.

That is still my heart.

I've just realized this past year that I need a lot more balance in my life. It's really easy to get caught up in this blog world and lose sight of the people that are right in front of you. I could easily spend hours each day reading blog post after blog post, emailing different bloggers back and forth, and writing post after post after post. And, there is nothing wrong with that...it just doesn't work for me. My husband needs more of my attention, my real life friends need to connect with me and I need to connect with them, my family needs to see my face and hear my voice, and most importantly, I need to spend quality time with my God.

So while I will still be here and I will still share my heart, my encouragement to myself, as well as to all of you, is to spend time with those that are important. I need a hug just like the next girl, and unfortunately, those don't come through the computer screen. I know I can still be a blogger and be a part of those important relationships in my life: it just takes a willingness to make both happen.

And, I promise you...I am willing and ready to do both...and to do them to the best of my ability.

Not Enough

I spent this past weekend with a bunch of teenagers.

Myself and a couple of women I love very dearly made plans a few months back to take some teenage girls from our church to a youth conference. We were in the midst of planning our retreat, and one of the women felt very strongly that we should do something to bless these young girls.

The Bible studies we are involved in are very family oriented. Not just in the fact that people bring their kids (though in one of them, that is the case), but we are all like one big happy (most of the time) family. These teenage girls will often times sacrifice other things they could be doing to take care of the little kids each week. They go the extra mile to be a blessing to so many of the mommas. So, my friend really felt strongly that we should plan a weekend centered around blessing these girls, doing something that was meant just for them, instead of trying to include them into our retreat.

And, I'm so glad she suggested that.

So, with four adults and seven teenage girls loaded up in two vehicles, we headed out to the conference on Friday. Not living nearby a Chick-fil-a, we were very excited to discover that one was on our way! Only one of us in the group had ever had it before, so we were very excited to try it.

(Chick-fil-a!)

It was fabulous! Chick-fil-a definitely did not disappoint. The food was amazing, the customer service was better than most sit down restaurants I've been to, and it totally hit the spot. My crazy, dear friend was trying to marry off one of her daughters to the guy behind the counter...that's how impressed we all were with this place. He said he went to the local Baptist church, and that was enough for her to decide he should marry her daughter. We had a lot of laughs over that for the rest of the weekend.

(Said boy is the one on the left trying to eat our food)

We then continued on, checked into our hotel, and then headed to the conference.

I had been to this particular conference many times when I was younger...either as a student or a youth leader. But, it had been seven years since I'd been, so I was a little anxious about what it was like now.

(Getting ready to go into the conference!)

The conference was really great. The worship was great, the bands were awesome, and most of the speakers were pretty good, too (one guy totally rubbed me the wrong way early on in his talk and I couldn't focus on anything else he said after that). But, most importantly, the girls seemed to get a lot out of this weekend, and that was more than we could ask for.

Someone suggested we should make matching shirts after we saw many groups there with the same bright colored shirts on. We took a trip after the session on Friday night to Walmart to buy the supplies to make our shirts...and spent the next couple of hours designing them and adding our artistic flair to them. Needless to say, not much sleep was to be had that night.

(In the elevator in our hotel, before shirt prep)

We woke up far too early the next morning to get to the conference. The only thing that I think is a big downfall to these kinds of things is how many sessions and concerts they cram into a day and a half. It started at 8am in the morning and wasn't over until 9:45pm on Saturday...that makes for a really long day. And, with only a couple of hours of sleep under our belts, it felt even longer. Granted, they give you a two hour break for lunch, another two hours for dinner, and a couple of fifteen minute breaks throughout the day...but it's still hard to concentrate that long. I think I definitely would have gotten much more out of it if they would have stretched everything over three days instead.


We had a lot of fun on our lunch break with a local youth group that set up big speakers and had people dancing in the middle of the parking lot. We all jumped into the circle at one point and suddenly everyone in the crowd was dancing with us.


The big thing they were pushing all weekend was how being normal is not enough. As Christians, we shouldn't be ok with looking like everyone else. We should be striving to look much different from the world...and be ok with that. In today's society with all the crazy things constantly coming at our teenagers, I think this message was so important for the girls to hear. In a world where "different" is looked down upon, and people are put into boxes or given labels for the way they dress or the things they do in their spare time, normal is sought after. Acceptance is what everyone longs for.


And, it really made me think about myself. How often am I striving to be like everyone else...whether it be the way I dress or the way I talk or the things I do with my life...instead of being the unique individual God created me to be?

(We called ourselves the Pink Ladies)

It's so easy to do what everyone else is. Different takes work. It's hard. And, many times, it brings us a lot of ridicule. But, Jesus was different and calls us to be different. How can we turn our backs on that?

I walked away from this weekend a little on the tired side, but really blessed. I have such a heart for these young women and I'm excited to see how God is going to continue to use me in their lives.

Discipling

As I mentioned in this post, I had to apologize to some women in my life for my failings with them.

One of the things I've been learning a lot about lately is the importance of discipleship.

Not only am I supposed to have someone (or multiple people) discipling me and helping me grow...but I need to be discipling others and helping them grow.

In fact, Jesus calls us at the end of Matthew to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28:19, NIV).

We should be walking so closely with those in our lives that we are constantly teaching and encouraging them to be more like Christ.

While it may seem impossible, especially in the midst of our busy society, it is absolutely necessary. It's something we need to make time for. It's something that should be so important to us, something we are passionate about.


One of the reasons I know discipleship is so important is because it's something Jesus did. He chose a select few to follow Him closely, to learn from Him, and to then go out and do the same with others. While He of course taught the crowds that followed Him as well, it was the 12 that He really devoted the majority of His time to. It's extremely important that we do the same.

It will be lived out differently in each of our lives, but I'm sure there is someone or a couple of people that immediately come to mind that we should be teaching and encouraging in a much deeper way to follow Christ more closely. Or, even those who don't already have a relationship with Christ. If not, I would encourage you to begin praying about it. Pray that God brings people your way that He wants you to lead closer to Him. It may be tough, you may have to call them out on some things...but it will be worth it in the long run.

And, if you yourself are not being discipled, be praying for someone to come into your life that will do that for you. You may have to seek it out yourself. It definitely does not hurt to ask someone.

Failure

I fail way more often than I'd like to.

In fact, I sat down with a couple of other women yesterday and apologized to them for my failings.

It's really easy to get caught up in my own selfish wants and desires and forget that there are other people out there that are watching me...or need me...or desire to have a different relationship with me.

And, until I can get to the point where I start actually seeing people and where they are at, I'm never going to stop looking only at myself.

We were talking with our college group this week about how many times we fail in God's eyes, too. We constantly let Him down, and rebel against Him, and choose our own way instead of His.


But, the beauty of God? He forgives us, He still loves us, and He doesn't remember our failings. He doesn't hold them against us and He sees us through the eyes of His Son, Jesus.

I am so thankful I serve a God who still loves me in spite of me.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose...What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
(Romans 8:28, 31-32, 1-2 NIV)

Leaning In

A beautiful friend shared a touching story tonight at church about the last week of her father's life here on earth.

Even though, at the time, she didn't know she was spending her last moments with him, she said she savored every moment they spent together. He shared with her how important it was for him to pass down his faith to her, as his father had shared with him just a few weeks prior.

She said that she leaned in...she soaked up all she could...and she still remembers that week fondly...even though it was 15 years ago.

I love that term: lean in. There are things that people will share with us that we need to lean into...really listen to and digest.

I had someone share something with me over the summer, in front of a group of people, that spoke volumes to my heart. A friend that heard it...and saw my reaction...came up to me and told me to write it down as soon as I could...so I wouldn't forget those words. I did so as soon as I got home. I leaned in.

I'm also learning that it's important to have this same concept in my relationship with God. Many times I say my spiel and move on...or I read a couple of chapters in my Bible and get on with my next task...without taking the time to listen to what He may have to share with me.

I shouldn't treat my relationship with Him any differently than I treat my relationships with other people...but I so often do. Sometimes I will go days without talking to Him at all...when I would never do that with my husband.

I want to lean in...I want to open up my heart and listen...and take in all that He has for me.

It's time to make that step, my friends. Lean in...you just might hear something profound.

5 Years

Tomorrow, my grandpa will have been in heaven for 5 years.

It's still hard with him gone...especially this past year. Things have changed so much in my family...and I wish he was here.

But, he is without pain...he is cancer free...and he spends his days (are there actual days in heaven?) worshiping Jesus. What could be better than that?

Still, I miss him, and I look forward to seeing him again one day.

(My grandpa and I...when I was a baby)

This day reminds me to cherish those around me. To make the most of the relationships and time I have right now...because you never know how long people will be in your life...or on this earth.

Hug people a little tighter, laugh with them a little longer, and share your heart a little more often.

Taking Steps

Life is all about taking steps, isn't it?

We either take steps in the right or wrong direction...or sometimes towards the middle ground.

Whatever steps we take, we are constantly taking them.

These past few months have been all about taking steps for me. With lifestyle changes, involvement changes, relationships, and even how I'm spending my time...I've been taking lots of steps in different directions.


But, no matter where life takes me, there are certain things I know I must always take steps towards:

My relationship with God - He doesn't call us to remain stagnant and never move forward. We need to constantly be growing and moving in the directions He wants us to go

My relationship with my hubby - I have to pursue a deeper relationship with him on a daily basis. We have to communicate with each other and take time out of our daily routines to spend time with each other. It's vital to the health of our marriage

My relationships with everyone else - God puts certain people in my life for a reason. Whether they be family, friends, people at church, or the woman I run into at the grocery store - they cross my path for a specific reason. I need to make sure I am investing in them in the right ways, and taking the right steps with them.

How about you? What people or things are you taking steps towards this week? What areas of your life are you running after...or running away from? We all take steps...let's just make sure they're in the right directions.

Be blessed this week.

My Inspiration

I'm linking up again with Gussy and her Inspiration Workshop.

This week, the prompt was YOUR inspiration.

I am very excited to share where I get some of my inspiration from.



If I need blog writing inspiration, I visit the following blogs:

Family Osburn (our real life dear friends)

From the Heart of Casey (a beautiful blogger friend)

Top of the Page (amazing woman with tons of wisdom)

Take Heart (the very sweet woman that came up with the wonderful Beauty Book Project)

Of course, I follow lots of other blogs...but these people just have wonderful things to say...and inspire me to write from my heart.



If I need creative inspiration, I go to the following people/places:

My beautiful friend, E.H. She is the one that got me started on making jewelry...and she has the most amazing fashion sense. Plus, her heart is HUGE and her love for other people is so evident in all she does...even the things that might be very hard for her to do.

The Pleated Poppy - I have loved her house tour that she's been doing recently. It gives me wonderful ideas for when we have a home of our own (someday...if it's what God wants for us, of course).

Pinterest - Umm...need I say more? If you haven't checked it out, do it. Then you'll understand where I'm coming from. And, if you need an invite...just email me and I will send you one!

Just.Lovely.Things - the maker of my beloved headbands (I now own four of them. I need to post pics of all of them so you can see how wonderful they are). She is so creative in her photography and with the things she sells in her shop. I love reading her blog.

And again, I find creative inspiration in lots of places...but these are just a few.

Where do you get YOUR inspiration?

Live Together or Die Alone

What is it about fictional characters that tug on our heart strings so much?

I went to see Harry Potter last weekend with the dear friend who got me reading the books. Even though I became a Harry Potter fan much later than most (I read the books at the end of 2009/beginning of 2010), I love the books dearly. There is something about the books that pulled at my very being and sucked me into this world and this story.

The final installment of the movies was very emotional for me. Yes, I knew what was coming...and yes, I knew who was going to die and who was going to live...but seeing it acted out was another thing altogether.

I feel the same attachment to L O S T. The hubby and I started watching L O S T later than most as well (we watched the first four seasons about 5 months before the fifth season came on TV). But, we connected with the characters and had to know what happened to them...as well as get some of our questions answered.

The final episode of that show was very emotional for me as well. We watched it with some good friends and the majority of us were definitely shedding some tears. Not all of our questions were answered, but I loved how the show ended. I loved the way they were all so connected to each other...and that connection is what brought them all back together in "the end".

Both Harry Potter and L O S T received quite a bit of criticism for the way they ended. You either loved it or you hated it...there was no in-between. For being on the love side, I began to wonder how people could hate it...and then it dawned on me...

The ones that hated the endings seemed to like them for amusement purposes...or just had the curiosity to find out what happened...and were disappointed they didn't turn out "the way they wanted".

My love for both stems from the relational aspect (as well as good vs. evil). My sweet friend from CO said that when L O S T was over, she missed her "friends". That, to me, is the perfect way to word it. I truly feel like I made a connection with Harry and Ron and Hermione...and Jack and Kate and Hurley. Their stories felt real to me.

We, as humans, need real relationships, with real people.

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
(Galatians 5:13-14, NIV)

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
(Hebrews 10:23-25, NIV)

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
(Romans 12:4-6a, NIV)

I love that verse in Romans. We NEED each other to be complete. We are not supposed to function on our own.

I think that is what makes up the characters of Harry Potter and L O S T. Though Harry is always pushing away those closest to him, to protect them, they continually follow him anyway. Though many of the characters on L O S T tried to do things their own way, they failed...until someone came along and stood by them.

God never meant for us to live out this life alone.

One of Jack's (from L O S T) most well-known quotes was, "...If we can't live together—we're gonna die alone."

That is why I am so passionate about the things I do: the college group, my women's Bible study, our Wednesday night Bible study, blogging...because no one should have to walk this life alone.

My prayer is that you have someone or many someones in your life that are walking with you, holding you up, and leading you closer to Christ. If you don't, please feel free to email me (see right side bar).

And, remember most of all, you are LOVED.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
(1 John 4:9-12, NIV)

Cling to that, my friends.

Highlights

My week has been pretty fun.

On Friday night, we had a huge laser tag event at my church. We took over the entire worship center and the hallways surrounding it, transforming them into forts and barriers and hiding spots. A local company that does mostly outdoor laser tag events came and brought all of the guns. And, they seriously had some crazy guns! They were all modeled after real guns...some of them weighing 15 lbs! It was so much fun!

(We were trying to look tough, but I was in between looks when the pic was taken. The headbands we're wearing are for the sensors for the guns. One sensor on the front and one on the back)

My sis and I made lunch for my mom for Mother's Day on Sunday. It was a casual celebration, but that's just the way we like it. My hubby and I then went over and spent some time with his mom and his family.

Last night, the ladies from my Tuesday night Bible study went out to dinner to celebrate one of the ladies' new adventures! She is heading off to Alaska to work at a national park, as well as plan a weekly worship service in the park! It's such an amazing opportunity and we are so excited for her!

(I love these women so much!)

And, now I'm looking forward to a BBQ cook off at our Bible study tonight! We are going to spend a lot of time fellowshiping (is that even a word?) and praying for our dear Alaska-bound friend!

I'm also looking forward to the release of this movie!



I so wish I would have been at the premiere at Disneyland last weekend...but at $1,000 a pop, it wasn't quite doable.

What have you been up to this week?

Words

I had a conversation this week with someone that broke my heart.

It pains me so much when people listen to hurtful words others speak to them...and believe them...when they are not true.

I think we've all been in this situation before.

I had someone in my life at one point that spoke horrible things to me. I was called horrible names and was told I wasn't worth it or good enough. I was made to feel worthless...and yet, I continued to put myself in the situation to keep hearing these words.

I think I knew deep down that they weren't true...but I did believe them for awhile. I accepted them as truth...and I started to feel very bad about myself. It's only by the amazing ways of my Savior that I was finally able to see these things were not true. He called me away from that person and called me back to Himself...where He reminded me of how beautiful and lovely He saw me...and how much He loved me.

So, when I see someone in a similar situation, it literally tears my heart in two. Because I've been there...and I know how hard it is to really believe that those things aren't true...even though you hear them over and over again. I encouraged this person to remove the harmful person from their life...so that this would not continue. It's the only way things will ever change.

I just wonder why we put ourselves in these situations in the first place. If we really believed the truths that God speaks into our hearts, I know we wouldn't let negative words affect us. But, it's often hard to remember the words of our Savior when someone in front of us is berating us day in and day out.

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b (NLT)

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)

So no matter how other people see us, let us remember the way that God sees us...and cling to that...and forget about the other stuff.