The End of Me as I Know it...

God has really been shaking up my heart these past few weeks...
I just started co-leading a Bible study with a dear friend and mentor of mine just two weeks ago. The book we are going through is amazing...but hard...because it is rockin' my world like nothing else (Believing God by Beth Moore). The first two weeks of the study have been focusing on having faith and believing that God is who He says He is. While I do believe many aspects of who God says He is, I have been having trouble with a few...and mostly the ones that have to do with Him being a promise keeper...or that He knows what is best for me...as so many times in life, I think I've got my best all figured out.
As I was doing my homework for the study today, I kept having this song run through my head. Mind you, it is not a worship song...not even a song about God...nor is it even remotely glorifying to Him. But, this line keeps playing over and over in my head...


It's the end where I begin...


And, the more I've been thinking about it, the more it is making sense to my life right now. The moment I am at my wit's end, when I have exhausted all possibilities of doing things on my own...that is the moment where I begin to trust God. I know it's not supposed to be that way...but that is where I am at currently. It's the moment when I'm overcome with my humanness, my imperfection, my broken state of being that I can't get myself out of, that I cry out to Him and ask for His help.
This verse was a part of my homework for today and it truly is my heart's cry:

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10 NIV)

And while I am completely broken and so in need of God's strength, He has been molding me, stretching me, and growing me so much in the past couple of weeks. I was able to pray so passionately for a dear sister of mine on Saturday...who didn't even know what she needed prayer for...but the words just came. I felt God speaking through me and bringing to my mind the words she needed prayed over her...and it was AWESOME! I can't even remember the last time I was able to pray for someone in that manner. It was truly a beautiful gift that God gave me...to be able to be used by Him, in spite of my broken and weak state.
It's amazing to know, to TRULY understand, that God is using me for His glory. To be able to experience it and see it firsthand...well, it just blows me away. I have seen Him do amazing things in the lives of those around me as well. So many of us are taking this leap of faith, of turning our wills over to God, and watching Him do the incredible in and through us. I am so blessed to have my church family, whom I truly consider my family, to walk this journey with.
This may truly be the end of me as I've known myself...but I am more than ok with that.

Photographer Giveaway

The amazing photographer who did our Christmas card session last year is having a giveaway! Find it here .
To see the pics she took of us at Christmastime, click here .

Painstakingly Obvious

I feel like I am constantly being slapped in the face.
I keep getting reminded of truths that I know God wants me to comprehend, learn, and put into practice...yet I keep ignoring them.
Every time I am around other followers of Christ, I keep getting reminded of how much I am supposed to trust God and not rely on my own strength...yet I keep doubting Him and leaning on my strength.
I feel like I should have learned this lesson by now.

Why is it taking me so long?

Yosemite

Some of the people in my LifeGroup at church took a trip to Yosemite this week. Most went to hike Half Dome, but some, like myself and a few others, either wanted to do shorter hikes or take pictures. It was a really fun time, so I decided to attempt my first photo blog with pictures from the trip.

Jennifer and I ready for the trip!

(we took 8 vehicles up there...completely packed with duffel bags, food, tents, and chairs)

At camp. I liked the different colors of the chairs.

I am not a RockStar fan. However, I really liked how this looked and decided to take a picture of it.

My husband roasting hot dogs :)

S'more ingredients (Notice the Reese's packages under the Hershey bars? Best s'more idea EVER!)

The next morning, the hikers got up very early and left for the trek up to Half Dome. The rest of us hung around camp for awhile before leaving for our own adventures. I was in the photography group. The rest of the pictures are of the places we stopped on our journey.

Upper Yosemite Falls

From Tunnel View (see Half Dome in the background?)

One of the Yosemite trail horses

The Chapel that everyone wants to get married at

The top fall is Nevada and the bottom Vernal. Both have to be passed in order to reach Half Dome

The view of Half Dome from Glacier Point

Jenn and I at Glacier Point

I like this one with the tree in front of Half Dome

It was fun to be so up close and personal with God's creation. This was one of the only times I've ever really tried to take pictures to capture that beauty. Many times I just like to get pictures of the people I spend time with. This trip was definitely a nice change of pace. I am so glad I was able to go!

Healer

Tonight was amazing.
I have been fighting allergy issues since Wednesday. I was really bummed that I wasn't feeling better today, because I was supposed to sing on the worship team. But, I think God had a different plan tonight.
We had a guest worship leader tonight who was awesome! She introduced a new song. I had been listening to it all week, to be prepared for practice today...but I guess I hadn't really paid much attention to the lyrics. Tonight, as I was preparing to take communion, the words of that song overcome me. I couldn't help but cry as they hit me right where I'm at.

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need

I'll trust in You

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me and being all I need. I'm sorry I lose sight of that too often.

(If you want to check out the song, it's called Healer and it's by Hillsong. And I wasn't referring to being healed from my allergies, but being healed in other areas of my life)