Birth and Death...and Everything in Between

This week has been a little crazy...
We found out what my best friend's baby is going to be!! It was so exciting to be able to share in the joy of their new baby girl :) I am already looking at cute outfits to buy her :)
I turned 25 on Thursday. I didn't know what to expect from 25, but I soon found out...
My mom called me in the morning and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch. I got ready and waited for her to call to say she was on her way. When she called, she didn't have very good news...
My uncle took antifreeze on Wednesday night. He was rushed to the hospital on Thursday morning, but he had been unconscious for quite a while before that. The doctors said things were not looking very good and did not expect him to make it through the night.
He made it through the night...but his journey has been and will continue to be rough. They took him to another hospital and gave a couple of dialysis treatments. He is starting to respond a little, but it's still too early to tell what the effects of the antifreeze are truly going to have on him.
So, instead of going to lunch, we went to the hospital and spent time with family. We canceled our college group and stayed available for family.
I had plans to go out with friends on Friday night for my birthday. I was feeling like I should cancel after everything that happened on Thursday, but my aunt told me that I needed to do it. She told me I deserved to have a little fun for my birthday. I am really glad that I didn't cancel. I needed that time to watch a silly movie and eat cake and have a good time with some of my greatest friends.
But the thing is...I don't feel 25. I don't feel like I just celebrated my birthday. I just feel...weird. I don't know if it's because of the emotional roller coaster I just went through this last week or what, but I just feel...kind of like I'm going through the motions. We had a family celebration for my birthday today and I just felt kind of blah. Josh and I got everything ready, made sure everything was clean and presentable, but I just felt...out of place. It felt like everyone else was more excited for my birthday and about celebrating than I was. I was so exhausted when everyone left. I was falling asleep on the couch at 5pm. I mustered up the energy to go to church tonight and still felt like I was kind of just there...but not really. I don't know when this feeling is going to go away...or really why it's even here...but I don't like it very much at all... I guess I just didn't expect 25 would feel like this. Then again, I don't know what I thought 25 would feel like...