Changes

2010 has definitely proven to be a year full of changes...and we're only in the four month!
I have already spent many fun hours this year listening to my friends and family talking excitedly about the changes taking place in their lives...new places to live, new relationships, babies on the way, new jobs, new and repaired relationships with God...it's so exciting to me! I love hearing about these changes and being able to be a part of them.
It has me thinking about the changes I've personally experienced in the last year and the changes I need to continue to experience. So many times, I find myself either being worried about things I can't and shouldn't worry about, being frustrated and upset at the actions of others that I cannot change, or pre-judging people without truly knowing who they are or why they act the way they do. I am more aware of these faults in myself as I'm learning more and more of what it means to truly follow Christ and live the way He wants me to. I'm learning to bite my tongue when I so desperately want to react to something someone says to me that I do not agree with or think is wrong. I'm learning the right way to respond to those situations, even if it means a confrontation is in order.
I'm also learning more of what it means to be a Godly wife. I always think I'm doing a good job, but then I get slapped across the face with a Godly truth that I have not been living out. I've been getting a lot of slaps from God like that lately...and I'm glad. I definitely need them.
We have been going through James in both my Wednesday Bible study and the college group Josh and I lead. We went through the first part of chapter 4 last week, which hits me so hard in so many different ways. One part that really stands out to me is:
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? (vs. 11-12)
I know there are many times, whether I am reading something someone posted on Facebook or listening to someone talk to me in person, when I instantly judge what they said. Sometimes it is for selfish reasons that I judge, while other times it is because I think what they are saying does not line up with what God would want. But no matter why I judge, I know I shouldn't react when I first read or hear something. Whether what someone is doing is wrong or not, my first reaction will probably always be more hurtful than helpful. I have to step back and think about what the right response would be...whether I should even open my mouth or not. Just as it says earlier in James:
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (3:9-10)
I do not want to praise God and then say something horrible about someone. I want my words to come from God, to be the things He'd want me to say, not the things I think should be said. Sometimes that will mean that I will need to confront someone in love, while other times it will mean just keeping my mouth shut and pushing the feelings aside. Whatever the result, I have to learn to go to God first before I react.
Being a grown-up is no fun sometimes. But other times, it is such a fun ride.