May

It is now officially May.
We had lots of April showers, so I am expecting some beautiful May flowers. In fact, I need some May flowers. Some pink tulips, and yellow roses, and white daisies. That would make things all better.
It's weird what spring does to me. Each year, when the weather starts shifting from the cold gusts of winter to the warm, gentle breezes of spring, I have this immediate flashback to every spring from high school until now. I remember nights at youth group, watching the boys throw the football. I remember going on walks around the neighborhood with good friends. I remember the time I tried roller blading with my best friend and falling into her neighbor's rose bush. I remember the text message Josh sent me that day at Delta when we met for lunch for the first time (with Kevin W). I remember the trip to Disneyland I took with Laura, Catherine, and Josh to hang out with our friends down there. I remember the smells of freshly made fudge at Hallmark. I remember the drives Josh and I used to take and the serious conversations we used to have on those drives.
But even though all these wonderful memories flood my mind, I can't help but feel a little sad. There's something about spring that does that to me. Maybe it is the fact that I will never be able to live those moments again. Maybe it is the fact that winter is over and I have to put away my sweaters and warm socks. Or maybe it is the fact that spring around here brings April showers, and they make me long for more of the sun.
Whatever the reason, spring bums me out more than it cheers me up. And yet, God still reminds me that He's with me, even through the spring. This is how He reminded me tonight:

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:12b-13 (NIV)

So tonight, in the midst of my blues, I am learning to lean on God more and more. I can do everything with God's help. I can conquer these spring blues. It is a new month and I am embracing it. I am looking forward to May flowers, May weddings, May birthdays, and May dates. I am going to be content in this spring and know that God is with me...and has never left me...