Letting Go

Remember this post I wrote a few weeks ago?

I felt on top of the world when I wrote that. I knew that God loved me immensely, that He had amazing plans for my life, and that He had never left me. Yet, two and half weeks later, I had forgotten all about that.

Things didn't go the way I thought they were going.

I was let down.
I was hurt.
I was broken.

I actually spoke out loud to my husband that I thought that God didn't want me to be happy or have anything good in my life.

Needless to say, he was shocked.

And, to be perfectly honest, I was a little unnerved. I didn't understand why I felt that way...why I would really think something like that...when I know with absolute certainty that it's not true.
I know God loves me. I know He has good things in store for me...and that He wants good things in my life. I know that.

And yet I let satan tear me down...and I believed his lie.

I'm tearing up just thinking about how low I was in that moment as I bawled my eyes out.

How could I ever doubt the incredible, unconditional love of my Savior? How could I lose sight so quickly of every amazing thing He has done in my life? How could I tell my husband that God didn't want me to have good things in my life, when he is one of the best things that ever happened to me?

(We had lunch at Buca di Beppo on our way. Yum!!)

The theme of the women's retreat I went on this past weekend was Beyond my Comfort Zone - I'm Letting Go.

A.maz.ing.

Isn't it so crazy how God works to get our attention?

I had no idea what to expect for last weekend...and I was blown away.

I met some amazing women, got to know some other women much better, heard amazing messages from our awesome speaker, and allowed Jesus to heal my heart.

It was fabulous...even with all of the crazy weather and roads being closed.

Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear this weekend...and He made sure I heard it. Loud and clear.


Our theme song for the weekend was perfect, too. It's called I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli. The lyrics are so perfect.

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Jesus is amazing. The fact that He truly does love me so much, even through my doubting, is beyond me. I'm so grateful for that love.