I seriously feel like Friday just past...
Anyway...
I've had an emotional week...lots of good emotions, but a few bad. It's been a very busy week and I haven't gotten a ton of sleep. I finally got to catch up on things a little bit. I got some laundry done...after not doing any in a week. I replied to some emails that have been sitting in my inbox (for about a week). I'm starting to feel a little more normal...
But...
I finally realized something very important about myself. I haven't been truly living my life in quite some time. I still live a normal life and get to do a lot of fun stuff...but there are definitely things I've put 'on hold' since I started this whole trying to conceive journey. I haven't really exercised regularly for fear of possible harm (I know this wouldn't be the case if I'd been exercising regularly to begin with, but I was just nervous if I started to of what could possibly happen). I haven't gone to the dentist, for fear of the x-rays being harmful. I avoid eating certain foods (like sushi) unless I know without a doubt that I'm not pregnant. I haven't really taken any medication when I've been sick or when I have a headache...again, unless I know I'm not pregnant.
I know some of those things are silly and trivial...but I've just been realizing that I've been walking on eggshells for quite some time now...trying to keep myself free from things that could potentially harm a growing baby. And while I know it's good to take care of your body and be cautious about things when trying to conceive...I think I've gone a little overboard.
So, from now on, I'm no longer worrying about this stuff. I'm just going to live my life and trust that God will take care of me and my future child.
It's a piece of this puzzle that I haven't given up my control over...and I'm honestly sick of having any control. I just want to be me again...and to do things without reservations.
I think I'm going to be a much happier person now.
On an entirely different note, I got a couple of wonderful things at Target this week.
I was getting pretty bored of my shower curtain. I didn't even really like it that much when I bought it...but it was cheap and I knew it would look good with our yellow bathroom. So, when I saw this one, I knew it needed to be a part of my bathroom.
A closer look at the pattern
It's a beautiful navy blue...which compliments the yellow so well
Yes, it's true. I now own this beautiful print! I just need to figure out where I'm going to hang it...perhaps in my room...what do ya think?I've also decided that I need to exercise on a regular basis...like for reals. One of my friends is doing P90X and asked me to join her...so I'm definitely considering it. I think it would be so good for me.
Ahh...the weekend. It seems like we just had you...but I'm glad you're back.
(Linking up with Casey and Jeannett)
10 comments:
i love you friend, thank you so much for sharing this!
Good for you. You have to trust God on this one. Enjoy and live your life as it. Hugs!
Now that you've realized you've been walking on eggshells you can change it right! I want that print. May be headed to target today ;)
Love the shower curtain! A good (doable) workout is the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. It's just 20 minutes a day.
Prayers for a baby!!
God bless you!!
Http://resourcefulred.blogspot.com
thanks for sharing, what a post to read for my first time visiting your blog! offering up a prayer for allowing Him to comfort you....trusting Him above all else is SO hard to do (i am such a worry wart) but His love never fails!
Thanks for your sweet comment and for stopping by...so nice to meet you :)
When I was going through your same journey, I realized that while I went around saying "it's in God's hands", I had not truly put it in God's hands because I was living my life doing everything in MY POWER to make it happen. How I lived daily, all the doctors and treatments I was going through. I finally broke down and realized this. Literally on my knees praying for God to have his will done, but just take the pain away and allow me to be happy with the life I did have. At that point I stopped treatments (I was schedule and had paid for another IVF cycle in NYC). 2 months later, I naturally conceived twins. One of which was Mosby, the other lost. God is good. He is in control. I am praying for you.
ah I just bought that same print from Target!! and worry is definitely a life-long struggle for me, and I can always learn from Philippians 4!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Good grief, can we just meet for coffee or something, haha :)
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