I get sad when Christmas is over and the new year approaches, because my favorite time of the year is over. But, I get excited anticipating the new year and what it could bring.
This week has been no different.
And yet I find myself trying not to dwell on either the past or the future...I'm just trying to enjoy the present.
I have never been one to really make New Year's resolutions. One year, I did make it three months without having an ounce of caffeine...but that is about as long as any resolution has lasted for me. Honestly, I just don't think that the new year should be the start for change. If I feel my life needs to take a different direction, I should start in that moment; not wait until some magical time where it seems more convenient. Besides, knowing myself, waiting for that magical time never works because I will just keep putting it off.
All that being said, I do want to take the time to really reflect on this past year and all the good and bad it brought. Those experiences have shaped me and made me into the person I am today...who is not the same person I was a year ago.
I just don't want to get so stuck on what was or what could be, and miss what is right in front of me.
My husband and I have a lot of fun things planned for this year. I am really excited for what it's going to bring...but I also really want to take life one day at a time and find the beauty in each moment I'm given.
I've been reading a lot of 2012 wrap up blog posts and posts about the writer's word for the year in 2013. While I have never officially picked a word, I definitely had a few things I was striving for this past year: being more purposeful and being more real. I don't think I have even come close to mastering either of those things, but I have definitely made some strides in the right directions.
I have also been thinking a lot about this blog and what its purpose should be. I wrote almost two-thirds less in 2012 than I did in 2011. It was not for lack of things to write about, but because I felt there were other things I needed to give more of my attention to.
Needless to say, my life feels very different going into 2013 than it did going into 2012.
But, my heart for sharing my story and being open about my struggles with infertility has not changed. I know God has called me to be very open about it and I will continue to be. I just don't always know what that looks like.
So, as scrambled and random as my thoughts seem to me, my hope for 2013 is that I will cling to what I know I'm being called to do, and that I will live it out to the best of my ability. And that includes what I share and don't share on this blog. This has been a huge part of my life and I don't see that changing any time soon. I'm actually hoping to devote more time to this space. I just don't want to make any resolutions that I might not be able to keep.
Just know that my heart is still here. And that I am still here for anyone reading this. I am always available by email and would love to talk with you about what is going on with your life. God has not called us to walk this life alone, and I would hate for anyone to feel like they are.
Blessings to you in this new year.
(linking up with Casey)
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