After typing it all out, I decided it was not going to be published. When I re-read it, I realized how ridiculous it sounded.
Here I am, writing about all these things I need to change or add or do differently in my life...when what I should have done was close my laptop, get up, and do them! I have since made a point to start changing some things in my life.
I love having down time and relaxing, but I'm realizing that I crave a lot more than just that. And instead of writing about it, I need to just get up and do it sometimes.
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We watched the series finale of The Office last night with some friends. I had been dreading and anticipating this moment all week...I just have such a hard time saying goodbye to shows. It wasn't as intense as I felt when LOST ended, but it still felt like I was losing some of my best friends. The last couple of episodes leading up to the finale were so good...I told my husband that fact alone was making it even harder to say goodbye. The show hasn't been the same since Steve Carell left, but those episodes were really making up for it for me. So while last night's episode was hard to watch, I couldn't have been happier with the way they ended things. And man...some of the wisdom they imparted to us viewers was just priceless:
Be strong.
Trust yourself.
Love yourself.
Conquer your fears.
And fast...
because life just isn't that long.
(The Office)
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The tough stuff in life is still tough...but we are slowly getting to the light at the end of the tunnel in some of the situations. We have definitely felt people's prayers and are so grateful for them as we keep walking these roads. My heart gets overwhelmed if I dwell on things too long, but knowing other people are out there thinking of us and praying for us has been such a huge blessing.
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I am finally getting to the bottom of some of my neck and back issues. My doctor sent me to another department and I've had some tests done already to try and figure out what's going on. While we haven't gotten a lot of answers yet, some of the tests have come back normal, so that's at least encouraging. I'm also going to be getting some pain relief next week that I am super excited about. For someone who's been living with pain and stiffness for almost two years now...this news is incredible!
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I am still plugging along with the healthy eating thing! There have only been one or two days in the last two weeks that I've gone over on my calories...and I haven't had any soda in three weeks! I don't even miss it anymore, which is crazy to me. I'm learning to love the foods that I've been eating and I'm craving things like avocados and mandarins all the time now. Iced unsweetened green tea is my favorite drink right now, other than water. It's crazy living in this world, but I'm loving every minute of it.
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My oldest niece is turning 6 next week! Where has the time gone? We got to meet her the day she came home from the hospital and it was the best day ever. She brings so much joy to our family, even though she lives far away now. We are so in love with all of our nieces and are so blessed and such better people with them in our lives.
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I haven't talked a lot lately about my infertility issues. They are still there, and I am obviously still not pregnant or a mother. It's weird to be over four years on this road looking back at all of the trials and hard times we had to endure along the way. While I still have a great desire to be a mom someday, I also am really happy with where I'm at right now. Especially with all the pain issues I've had the past couple of years...I think getting pregnant during that time would have been so horrible. I trust God knows what He's doing in my life and this season will pass someday...
There's also a part of me that is kind of freaked out at the possibility of becoming pregnant. I've watched a lot of people in my life walk through some very hard things in their pregnancies and the thought of having to go through something like that really scares me. I know I have to trust in God's plan for my life, and I have to trust that whatever happens, I will be fine...but there's still a part of me that's a little scared.
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This weekend is full of fun! I'm going out dancing with some friends, we are attending a sweet little girl's 1st birthday party, and I have Bunco with my friends. I'm hoping we will be able to squeeze in seeing Star Trek as well!
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