Moments

Sometimes it's weird to look back on life.

To look at a defining moment...where in an instant, everything changed and suddenly, your life was very different.

I've had many of those moments, and I've watched other people walk through many of their own.

The first time Josh kissed me: I remember everything about the moments leading up to it and the moments afterward. I asked him after if this meant things had changed (because we had broken up two months before after only dating for a week), and he said yes. My life was never the same after that moment (even though we went through another hard break up before he finally realized I was the girl for him).

The day we got married: That morning, I woke up early and took a nice long bath and took my time getting ready. I took a moment during my bath and asked God to show me a sign if I was making the wrong choice. Not because I thought I was, but because I wanted to be 110% sure that Josh was the man I was supposed to marry. And when I started walking down that aisle and saw him waiting for me, I burst into tears, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me to spend the rest of my life with that man. My life was never the same after that.

The day I met my longest friend: I went to a youth group for the first time with a friend from my ballet classes. Two of her really good friends attended this youth group as well. She introduced me to her spunky red-headed friend and I knew instantly that this girl was going to be a great friend of mine. We exchanged email addresses and started emailing each other all the time. My life would forever be changed from that moment on.

The day I took my last birth control pill: I had a big last hurrah with some friends that week and had what I thought would be my last bit of alcohol before I got pregnant. We had so much fun that night, playing games in our old apartment until 1 or 2 in the morning. My bestie and I laughed so hard all night. But the day I took that last pill, I had no idea how much my life would change...or where I would be almost four and a half years after that.

The day my dear friend text me and told me all the pain her sister had been going through was cancer. No one expected that and we most certainly had no idea how much life would change in so many amazing ways because of her battle.

And more recently, the day we were supposed to find out the sex of a baby someone very close to my heart is expecting...and instead we received very heartbreaking news. The moment I received a phone call the next day, saying we needed to go to the hospital, my heart stopped and all I could say in the car was, "Jesus, please...". We had no idea the night before how much our lives were about to change.

There have been many other days that have brought huge life change. Days that stand out in my memory and moments that I will never forget. But through it all, there has always been one constant: Jesus and His love have never failed me. He's never left. He has remained faithful. And even though I lose sight of Him way more often than I should, He always welcomes me back with open arms. I don't deserve His love at all, but I'm so very thankful for it.