I Need You

Today was a little rough for me.

I've known for weeks now that I was going to be leading a worship song tonight at church. I was struggling with how to sing it, because a guy normally sings it. I finally decided on a key last night...and changed it today before practice. I just didn't feel comfortable with it at all.

Then, during practice, I just lost it. My voice was cracking, it was making my voice sound funny, and I was just frustrated. I had prayed a lot today before I got there that God would help me get through this song, because I love it so much and I think it's a great worship song...but I was just having such a hard time with it. I seriously almost threw in the towel on it during practice. I was just so frustrated with it.

Thankfully, the second time we went through it, it was a lot better. And only by the grace of God was I able to get through it during worship tonight at church.

There's a part in the song that just kills me and makes my throat catch every time:

Without You, I fall apart

I was definitely feeling like that while singing the song. Every time I tried to make it work of my own strength, I was falling apart. But when I rested in Him and leaned on Him for help, it was so much better.

These past two months have been really hard on me. I have spent so much time worrying and stressing about all these different situations going on...instead of letting God have control. I just kept falling apart, because I couldn't handle them on my own...but I wasn't letting Him handle them either.

This song, this beautiful song, has helped me to remember just how much I really do need Him.



(Lord I Need You by Matt Maher)