We are going through the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. So far, it's been pretty interesting.
One of the things I've found fascinating in the few marriage books we've studied is the common theme of how marriage is not supposed to be all about your personal happiness and constant romantic notions and love. Marriage is supposed to be about bringing you and your spouse closer to God...because marriage forces you to reveal and expose things in each other that other relationships won't be able to do on the same level.
It's been a hard concept for me to swallow, being the huge fan of chick flicks and Disney movies that I am. No one, not one single person, told me before I got married how hard it would be to be a wife, how it's not all mushy feeling all the time, and that you can actually "fall out of love" with your spouse. None of the marriage books I'd read before we got married even hinted at any of that stuff. Maybe that it would be hard...but they never really explained why.
Having been married for over five and a half years, I've definitely learned a thing or two...and I'm still learning every day. It is hard to be married. It is hard to choose to love another person every single day of your life...especially when you're pissed off and frustrated. It takes a lot of work to make sure that you are giving of yourself in the ways that your spouse needs you to. And it takes a lot of effort to spend quality time together (meaning time not spent in front of the TV or computer. Serious one on one conversation time).
The whole concept of putting someone else's needs before your own is just hard. Marriage has shown me time and time again just how incredibly selfish I am. We were talking in our group last night that even little things like giving your spouse the bigger piece of pie can be hard...let alone bigger things.
But that's what makes marriage so great. It is our responsibility to recognize our faults when they come up and do something to change them. It's not about changing our spouses into the people we want them to be; it's about our heart change...and about us drawing closer to God.
While it may not be the easiest thing in the world (and many days and in different seasons of life it can be the hardest thing in the world), marriage is truly a beautiful thing. Being able to intimately share my life day in and day out with Josh has been such a blessing. Yes, we fight and disagree and annoy the crap out of each other often...but we also point each other in the right directions, show love to each other in the midst of hard times, and try our best to be encouraging to each other.
It's the hardest relationship I've ever had to maintain, but it's so worth it.
Sneak peek from our fun trip last week!
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