On Church and Women

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life.

I love it in so many ways. Josh and I have some amazing friends, we have a lot of fun together, and we both have great jobs. He's doing such an awesome job with the jr. highers at our church and I'm so proud of him. I was doing a couple of Bible studies, but both of those have ended for the time being. So right now, I'm not really doing anything at church besides Sunday mornings.

I've been struggling this past year with finding my place there. Not in our church itself, but in where to serve. I debated and prayed over a few different opportunities that came up, but none of them worked out. I know I need to be doing something to serve in the church, but I just don't really know what that looks like yet.

I know it's been a struggle since the Sunday night service at our church ended. The community we built there was incredible and it was really hard to see it go. I also think often about the women's Bible study my friend A.G. started with my sister over 8 years ago that was so instrumental in the lives of so many women. I long for those days to still be happening, because they were such an important part of my life.

But I often wonder if we as humans live too much in the past.

Do I long for those days because something like that needs to happen again? Or is it because it was comfortable and familiar and I have fond memories of it?

Where do we draw the line between what we've known and the new changes that happen around us all the time?

I have continuously felt a tug on my heart these past few years to be involved somehow with something to do with women. I've listened a few times and been involved with various Bible studies or small retreats. I've done some mentoring and I've reached out to some women. But I still feel that tug, even after everything I've already done. I know there's something more I'm supposed to do, but I still don't know exactly what that looks like yet.

But I do know this: I don't need to try to replicate what I've experienced in the past. Those memories are very precious to me and hold a special place in my heart. A part of me will probably always long to have those days back, because they were a very influential part of my life. But it's time to live in the now and to see what things God wants to do in the people in my life now.

So with that, I'm praying. I'm praying for clarity and direction on what this looks like for me. I know there are many different ways this could play out, but I'm excited to see how it all comes together.