I feel crazy sometimes.
Not literally like a crazy person...but just like there must be something to explain away why my life is so busy all the time...or why I feel so overwhelmed.
I don't know if this all started when I started working again...or if it's this time of year...or if it's just dawning on me how crazy my life really is.
I made a commitment to make some phone calls this week...and I've had the stuff to make the calls since Monday...and I still haven't made them. It's not because I've been sitting around doing nothing all day and just lost track of time. I have had no time. And, when I finally do have the time, it's after 8pm, and that is definitely not a good time to make calls.
I got asked to do something else today that I would love to do...but I just don't have the time to do it. I feel horrible saying no, especially when it's helping someone else out, but sometimes I just have to.
I guess I am realizing that I can't spread myself too thin. I can't do everything. As much as I act like I'm Super Woman sometimes...and trust me, I definitely put the cape on some days...I'm not. I can't be in three places at once...doing three different things. I can't help everyone...as much as it pains me not to. I can't always do the fun stuff...the not so fun stuff has to get done, too.
But then I wonder if I'm filling my life with the right things...or if I'm feeling this way because I am overwhelmed with the things I'm doing...because I shouldn't be doing them. Do I have my priorities right? Am I doing the things God wants me to do...or the things I want to do...or think I should do?
I don't have an answer. I don't have the perfect solution. I just know that this has been plaguing me this week...and I want, somehow, some way, to be able to change something.
I just don't know how...
God, please help me.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
New Look
I changed the look and name of my blog today.
I felt it was fitting.
It was time for a change.
The fact that we are finally experiencing fall here has gotten me excited for this next phase in my life...whatever it may look like. It's going to be fantastic...even if there are hard times. Why? Because my goal is to focus on the good stuff and not the bad. And, I am going to trust that God has good things in store for me, because:
"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28 (NIV)
I am choosing to hold onto that.
I felt it was fitting.
It was time for a change.
The fact that we are finally experiencing fall here has gotten me excited for this next phase in my life...whatever it may look like. It's going to be fantastic...even if there are hard times. Why? Because my goal is to focus on the good stuff and not the bad. And, I am going to trust that God has good things in store for me, because:
"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28 (NIV)
I am choosing to hold onto that.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Loves
It is so easy for me to focus on the negative things in life.
I don't know why, but I have always been this way. I can tell you everything that is going wrong...and totally forgot about all the good stuff. So, I decided to write a blog about all the things I'm lovin' right now, in no particular order.
1. The fact that it is FINALLY cold and rainy outside! It makes me so happy to be able to curl up on the couch in a blanket, and either read a good book, or watch a good movie. It is truly the best time of the year.
2. Harry Potter. The new movie comes out in just a few weeks and this weather totally puts me in the mood to watch the movies and read the books again. Too bad I don't own any of the movies, and only own three of the books. I was VERY excited, though, to find out that the Disney channel had the first movie on last night! I was able to watch most of it, and it made me very happy.
3. Baked goods. I made brownies last night and it was so enjoyable! I am ready to make lots of yummy treats for the holidays this year. The guys that Josh works with told me I am the only wife that hasn't brought baked goods into work, so I am ready to get on that soon!
4. My husband's hair cut. I LOVE Josh with short hair. I think he looks so handsome when his hair is short and neat. He surprised me yesterday morning by coming home with short hair. It made my day.
5. Mumford and Sons. This love has been there for quite a few months now...and it's not going away. I seriously do not get sick of listening to them. Their music seriously makes my heart happy...and lifts up my soul. If they don't bring you closer to Jesus, I don't know what will.
6. The book of Mark. We read through it recently for my Tuesday night Bible study and I really enjoyed it. It's definitely not the first time I've read through the whole book, but I got so much more out of it this time around. It even brought things up that I wanted to know more info on. It was a really great read, and I am enjoying the book of Acts now as well.
7. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's my favorite...but I like two things on it that some people find weird: salted peanuts and hot caramel. Top that with some whipped cream and a cherry and I am in heaven. It sounds gross, but it is seriously the best combo. If you haven't tried it, you shouldn't knock it...you should try it! It could change your life.
8. Colorado. I think about it often. I wish we could go back...or move there. I definitely left a piece of my heart there. I hope we will be able to go back someday...and soon at that!
9. Lady Gaga. Yes, I know. Some of you probably think that is ridiculous, but I totally love her music. If for no other reason but that it makes me dance. And I love dancing. Any excuse to dance and I'm there. If you've been to a wedding with me, you definitely know this.
10. Halloween candy. Every holiday, there seems to be a candy that I love that is only available for that short amount of time. For Halloween, it's candy corn. I can't seem to get enough of it. And, as odd as it sounds, I really love the yellow part. I bite that part off and eat it by itself, because it has a slightly different taste...or maybe it's just me :)
Those are my top 10 right now. If only I could keep remembering them and not the stuff that stresses or bums me out, life would be good.
I don't know why, but I have always been this way. I can tell you everything that is going wrong...and totally forgot about all the good stuff. So, I decided to write a blog about all the things I'm lovin' right now, in no particular order.
1. The fact that it is FINALLY cold and rainy outside! It makes me so happy to be able to curl up on the couch in a blanket, and either read a good book, or watch a good movie. It is truly the best time of the year.
2. Harry Potter. The new movie comes out in just a few weeks and this weather totally puts me in the mood to watch the movies and read the books again. Too bad I don't own any of the movies, and only own three of the books. I was VERY excited, though, to find out that the Disney channel had the first movie on last night! I was able to watch most of it, and it made me very happy.
3. Baked goods. I made brownies last night and it was so enjoyable! I am ready to make lots of yummy treats for the holidays this year. The guys that Josh works with told me I am the only wife that hasn't brought baked goods into work, so I am ready to get on that soon!
4. My husband's hair cut. I LOVE Josh with short hair. I think he looks so handsome when his hair is short and neat. He surprised me yesterday morning by coming home with short hair. It made my day.
5. Mumford and Sons. This love has been there for quite a few months now...and it's not going away. I seriously do not get sick of listening to them. Their music seriously makes my heart happy...and lifts up my soul. If they don't bring you closer to Jesus, I don't know what will.
6. The book of Mark. We read through it recently for my Tuesday night Bible study and I really enjoyed it. It's definitely not the first time I've read through the whole book, but I got so much more out of it this time around. It even brought things up that I wanted to know more info on. It was a really great read, and I am enjoying the book of Acts now as well.
7. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's my favorite...but I like two things on it that some people find weird: salted peanuts and hot caramel. Top that with some whipped cream and a cherry and I am in heaven. It sounds gross, but it is seriously the best combo. If you haven't tried it, you shouldn't knock it...you should try it! It could change your life.
8. Colorado. I think about it often. I wish we could go back...or move there. I definitely left a piece of my heart there. I hope we will be able to go back someday...and soon at that!
9. Lady Gaga. Yes, I know. Some of you probably think that is ridiculous, but I totally love her music. If for no other reason but that it makes me dance. And I love dancing. Any excuse to dance and I'm there. If you've been to a wedding with me, you definitely know this.
10. Halloween candy. Every holiday, there seems to be a candy that I love that is only available for that short amount of time. For Halloween, it's candy corn. I can't seem to get enough of it. And, as odd as it sounds, I really love the yellow part. I bite that part off and eat it by itself, because it has a slightly different taste...or maybe it's just me :)
Those are my top 10 right now. If only I could keep remembering them and not the stuff that stresses or bums me out, life would be good.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Rest
My week was pretty stressful.
Things at work have been a little crazy. Some days, I am not sure how much longer I will have a job...or at least a job with the same little girl I'm working with. Other days, I just feel overwhelmed and spied on and just want a break...a nice, long one. I hate feeling this way, because I truly love working with this little girl. If only there weren't so many other factors and people involved...
I've also been going through a more personal struggle this week. I wanted something so bad...and it doesn't look like it's going to happen. It hurts. It makes it harder for me to believe God, to trust Him in what He says, and to keep moving forward in life. I'm doing my best...but sometimes it's just too hard...
One thing that made this week a little easier was the fact that I didn't have to work yesterday or today. My little girl was sick...not that I am happy that she was sick...but it gave me a much needed break. I was able to take a nice, long nap yesterday. I got to spend some good quality time reading my Bible. I got to watch some old TV shows that I like to watch...but am not home to watch anymore. I got to listen to some music that lifted my spirits. I watched Twilight this morning...because it was just a Twilight kind of morning. I dreamed a little more about how I'm going to decorate my house for Christmas. I cleaned my house for college group yesterday...and I didn't feel stressed to get it done in a certain amount of time...because I had more time to do it.
I needed this break. And I know God knew that. I know He was taking care of me this week. He knows how my heart is hurting right now and how stressed and crazy I feel. He knew this is just what would pick me back up and help me to continue on. I am so very grateful for that. He also provided me with just the right people to encourage and lift me up in prayer this week. I got a wonderful massage from Sondra on Monday. I got to spend some time with my dear friend Amy on Tuesday. My mom came and brought me late lunch on Wednesday. I got to spend some time with my hubby on Wednesday night after our Bible study. I have received some of the sweetest text messages this week from people I love oh so much. So while this week was one of the hardest I've had in awhile...it was also one of the most blessed weeks I've had. Funny how God works that way sometimes...
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2
Things at work have been a little crazy. Some days, I am not sure how much longer I will have a job...or at least a job with the same little girl I'm working with. Other days, I just feel overwhelmed and spied on and just want a break...a nice, long one. I hate feeling this way, because I truly love working with this little girl. If only there weren't so many other factors and people involved...
I've also been going through a more personal struggle this week. I wanted something so bad...and it doesn't look like it's going to happen. It hurts. It makes it harder for me to believe God, to trust Him in what He says, and to keep moving forward in life. I'm doing my best...but sometimes it's just too hard...
One thing that made this week a little easier was the fact that I didn't have to work yesterday or today. My little girl was sick...not that I am happy that she was sick...but it gave me a much needed break. I was able to take a nice, long nap yesterday. I got to spend some good quality time reading my Bible. I got to watch some old TV shows that I like to watch...but am not home to watch anymore. I got to listen to some music that lifted my spirits. I watched Twilight this morning...because it was just a Twilight kind of morning. I dreamed a little more about how I'm going to decorate my house for Christmas. I cleaned my house for college group yesterday...and I didn't feel stressed to get it done in a certain amount of time...because I had more time to do it.
I needed this break. And I know God knew that. I know He was taking care of me this week. He knows how my heart is hurting right now and how stressed and crazy I feel. He knew this is just what would pick me back up and help me to continue on. I am so very grateful for that. He also provided me with just the right people to encourage and lift me up in prayer this week. I got a wonderful massage from Sondra on Monday. I got to spend some time with my dear friend Amy on Tuesday. My mom came and brought me late lunch on Wednesday. I got to spend some time with my hubby on Wednesday night after our Bible study. I have received some of the sweetest text messages this week from people I love oh so much. So while this week was one of the hardest I've had in awhile...it was also one of the most blessed weeks I've had. Funny how God works that way sometimes...
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)