I feel crazy sometimes.
Not literally like a crazy person...but just like there must be something to explain away why my life is so busy all the time...or why I feel so overwhelmed.
I don't know if this all started when I started working again...or if it's this time of year...or if it's just dawning on me how crazy my life really is.
I made a commitment to make some phone calls this week...and I've had the stuff to make the calls since Monday...and I still haven't made them. It's not because I've been sitting around doing nothing all day and just lost track of time. I have had no time. And, when I finally do have the time, it's after 8pm, and that is definitely not a good time to make calls.
I got asked to do something else today that I would love to do...but I just don't have the time to do it. I feel horrible saying no, especially when it's helping someone else out, but sometimes I just have to.
I guess I am realizing that I can't spread myself too thin. I can't do everything. As much as I act like I'm Super Woman sometimes...and trust me, I definitely put the cape on some days...I'm not. I can't be in three places at once...doing three different things. I can't help everyone...as much as it pains me not to. I can't always do the fun stuff...the not so fun stuff has to get done, too.
But then I wonder if I'm filling my life with the right things...or if I'm feeling this way because I am overwhelmed with the things I'm doing...because I shouldn't be doing them. Do I have my priorities right? Am I doing the things God wants me to do...or the things I want to do...or think I should do?
I don't have an answer. I don't have the perfect solution. I just know that this has been plaguing me this week...and I want, somehow, some way, to be able to change something.
I just don't know how...
God, please help me.
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