Discipline

I decided to pick up my Bible tonight to start on the reading for my Bible study.
(I haven't really picked up my Bible to sit down and read it for a couple of weeks now...and that makes me sad)
As I was reading through Hebrews 12, my eyes started to well up with tears. Read it for yourself:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (go read Hebrews 11 if you don't know what this is referring to), let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who also endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
(Get ready for the kicker)
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (this is found in Proverbs 3:11-12 as well) (vs. 1-6)

I'm just going to stop there for a minute and allow you to soak that in. Re-read it if you need to.

Here's the part that really made me cry:
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," (Proverbs 4:26) so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. (vs. 7-13)

As I was reading this, welling up with tears, God brought to my mind the struggles I've had with infertility this year...and the fact that I didn't trust and kept trying to make things happen my way. I felt like God was punishing me, by not allowing me to get pregnant. And guess what? I'm thinking now that maybe He was. Would I have gotten pregnant if I had trusted more? It's possible. But, that's not the point. The point is, I didn't trust Him...I didn't want to follow His plan and lean on Him for strength...I wanted to do things alone. And, it took me feeling helpless and alone and finally giving up all those times to realize I couldn't do it without Him. And now, that I feel like I have endured a lot of discipline this year, I am starting to see the part described in verse 11:
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
I do feel at peace. I do feel like trusting God is the right way...the best way...to go through this battle.
I don't know many people that like to think about God's wrath very much. I think a lot of times, we tend to think of God's wrath as being an "Old Testament" thing. And yet, it's not. God is a God of wrath...but also a God of love. How do these two seemingly contradicting attributes go with the same God? Simple. We all deserve the wrath of God. All of us. There is not one of us that hasn't sinned, hasn't fallen short, hasn't done something to deserve death. Yet, God offers us His love and forgiveness, through His Son, Jesus Christ. Does that mean He won't pour His wrath out on us? Not necessarily. There is still a consequence for the sins we've committed. There are still residual effects of the things we've done. And, we will still have to answer for them someday. Yet, God still loves us, and in all things, works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Discipline is good. It is not always pleasant. It is not always fun. Most of the time, it just plain sucks. But, it's always best. It's always meant to help us and not to harm us. My parents disciplined me when I lived at home. I may not have always understood it at the time...or even agreed with it...but it was always to help me to see that what I was doing was wrong...or that I was going to hurt myself in the long run by doing it. I hated having a curfew and not being able to do certain things...but you know what? I appreciate it now. Now that I am out of the house and can see why my parents did the things they did...it all makes sense. They just wanted to keep me safe...and in one piece...because of their love for me. Not to stifle me, not to keep me from growing up...to keep me safe. That is all God wants for us, too. He wants to keep us safe and to keep us with Him...so the things of this world will not entice us and make us turn away from Him.
I hated the discipline I had to endure this year. I had many very painful days and nights. But you know what? They helped me get back on track...back on the path God wanted me to be on. A path of trusting God and letting Him have control of my life. And, let me tell you...this path is worth all the discipline in the world.

Out With the Old...

I have never been big on New Year's Resolutions.
I don't really see the point.
If you want to accomplish something or change something about yourself, why wait for the beginning of the year? Why not start now? At least, that's how I've always seen it. I quit soda one year for New Year's...and it worked for about three months...but then I'd had enough. I just don't think there's anything magical about making a resolution at the beginning of the year.
However...
I do love when it's time for a new year to start. Because that means everything starts fresh. Christmas has come and gone, and now it's time to start all over again. I look forward to the ball dropping, because it's like the end of one book closing...allowing a new one to be opened.
My 2010 book was full of lots of blessed memories. I created a collage of some of my favorites.
I got to be a part of so many awesome things this year...
Two celebration dinners on finding out the sex of two beautiful babies
Four weddings, one of which I was in
An amazing retreat with the women in my Wednesday night Bible study and some of my college group girls
The play Wicked with great friends
Our first try at having a BUNCO group. We made it a whole year!
The college group celebrated its one year anniversary
A trip to Colorado to see our dearly loved friends that moved back home
Two surprise parties, one for my hubby and one for a wonderful friend
Josh and I celebrated our second anniversary (in Disneyland!) and five years of being together...as well as our 6th Christmas!
A great friend and I started a women's Bible study
A trip to Yosemite with some awesome friends from church
An amazing missions trip to San Francisco
Many birthday parties and baby showers
I started singing on the worship team for church
The Women of Faith conference
And many other amazing, memorable events

It was a full year. There was rarely a weekend that we didn't have SOMETHING going on. But, that's the way I like it. I love being busy and spending time with those I love. I love being able to look back on my year and smile.
It was a tough year, too. We had to endure a lot of things that were not so fun. I had a lot of personal struggles that were very tough to overcome...some of them that I still deal with daily. But, through it all, I know God was working in our lives. I have seen so much evidence of that. And man...I have an amazing church family. The women in my Bible study...the students involved in the college group...those at our Wednesday night Bible study and at church on Sunday nights...words cannot express how much I appreciate each and every one of them. The encouragement and love they have shown me this year has been incredible.
2010 was a fabulous year. Yes, at times it wasn't very fun...but that's life. You gotta take the good with the bad and ride it out. I am very much looking forward to 2011. I know God has amazing things in store for us and I am excited to experience them!

Our 6th Christmas

Josh and I celebrated our 6th Christmas together this year.
That is so crazy to me.
We started dating in March of 2005...broke up for two months...got back together in May...broke up for four months...and started dating again in September. So, our first Christmas was celebrated in 2005.
Christmases with Josh have always been special. Our first was interesting because we were meeting each other's families. Our second was super special because that is when Josh proposed. Our third was exciting because we were getting married less than two months later. Our fourth was magical because it was our first as a married couple...and because my sister got engaged. Our fifth was fun because all of our siblings were married and the babies on each side were celebrating their first Christmases as married couples. Our sixth was memorable because it was nice and relaxing.
We went to Josh's parents' house on Christmas Eve and celebrated with his mom's side of the family, as well as his dad's parents. It was a lot of fun. We ate yummy Mexican food, played Pictionary and Wheel of Fortune for the Wii, and decorated gingerbread houses.
We went back to his parents' house on Christmas morning and opened gifts with his immediate family, plus his dad's parents. It's always so fun to see what people get and to see the reactions on their faces when they open their gifts. I was very excited to get a lot of wonderful gifts. Some handmade, others store bought...but all given with love.
We then headed to my parents' house and celebrated with my immediate family. We ate yummy breakfast and then opened our gifts. My sister and her hubby made everyone's gifts this year and they totally rock! We got a beautiful maple wood cutting board that my bro-in-law made, and my sister made the cutest hand towels with a pot holder attached...so you can use them to either pull stuff out of the oven or hang on your oven to use as a hand towel. We felt very spoiled after we got home and had to make many trips into the house to bring in our gifts.
We then got to relax at home for a couple of hours. Josh put together his computer, as he got some much needed parts as gifts...and I watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (my favorite, by far). Did I mention that my hubby bought me ALL of the Harry Potter movies for Christmas?? I was SO very excited about them! I now own all six in a nice boxed set. I can watch them whenever I want! It made me quite happy.
After that, we headed to the movie theater with some friends to see The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I was a little irritated that we HAD to see it in 3D (no theater in our area was showing the 2D version at all on Christmas Day), but it wasn't too bad. It just was an extra $3 per ticket I wish we didn't have to spend. But man...that movie was AMAZING! I think it was definitely my favorite movie of the series so far. I haven't read the book since I was in jr. high, but a lot of it came back to me as I watched the movie. It has such a powerful message and is FULL of Jesus. What a wonderful movie to watch on the day we celebrate His birth!
We then headed over to a friend's house to hang out with those we went to the movies with, as well as a couple of others (dot35 reunion. For those that don't know what that means...it's Josh and his three childhood best friends. There's more to the story than that, but that's the gist of it).
We got home about 11:45pm, after having been awake since 6:20am. It was a long, but wonderful day. I was very happy to have the relax time in the middle...as I was able to get a 20 minute nap in there.
It was, overall, one of the better Christmases that I can remember. Not stressful, not full of running here, there, and everywhere...just the right amount of time spent with family, time spent with friends, and time spent at home. I know every Christmas won't be like that...especially when we get pregnant...so I soaked up as much of this one as I could. I just wish I would have taken more pictures. I am getting really bad about that. And since our camera has dead pixels and we get a weird black spot in every picture, Josh hardly ever brings it anywhere anymore. Perhaps we will have to invest in a cheap point and shot camera for my birthday...
Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling and jumping all over the place...when the point of this post was to talk about our Christmas...and how it was our 6th one spent together. I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by the ones you love!

A Giveaway...and a Good Cause

If you read my blog on a regular basis...or simply read the post I linked on Facebook titled The Year of Babies, you would know who Cliffy is. I have a button on my sidebar with his picture on it. Anyway, liferearranged's blog is hosting a new challenge and a giveaway. She is asking everyone to donate $1 to bringing Cliffy home. $1. That's all. If you haven't donated because you were afraid your money wouldn't go very far, think about donating $1. It's simple and easy. In the month since I originally blogged about this, over $3,000 has been raised for Cliffy...bringing the total to over $7,000! The total cost to bring him home is $20,000...so it's about 35% covered so far. But, just think...if everyone that reads this blog gave $1...and passed on the info to everyone they know, and they all gave $1...the money could easily be raised in no time.
But, to top it all off, liferearranged is giving away a Silhouette die-cutting machine. If you don't know what that is, check it out here. It's amazing...to say the least...and you can do so many awesome things with it. Anyway, liferearranged has all the details for the giveaway here.
So...think about it. $1 can seriously go a long way. You can find the giving widget on my sidebar as well.

Reason Number Twenty-Five

It's here!!!

Ok. So I'm a bit late and it's already come and past...but for the sake of this blog...

IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!!

THIS is the entry I've been most looking forward to.

25. JESUS. There is nothing else I could possibly love more about Christmas. The fact that God sent His ONLY son, Jesus, to this earth...as a baby...to grow up to take our sins upon His shoulders...

Man...

It blows me away. Seriously. Every time I really stop and think about it, I just can't even imagine that. Sending my kid some place, KNOWING they were going to die a horrible death? I don't think so. But that is what is so amazing about my God. He loves me...

you...

all of us...

THAT much. It was SO worth it to Him...and I am FOREVER grateful because of it.
THIS is the reason I love Christmas the most. It's the reason I wish everyone loved the most...or at all.
And this is just the best:

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
(Luke 2:1-20)

Amen and amen. Jesus is the most important part of Christmas for me. I hope He is for you as well. I hope you had a wonderful day reflecting on what He did for you!