Twenty-Nine

I've got some thoughts on being 29.

As I mentioned a couple of posts before, I've been having a hard time finding my place lately. Whether with church or friends or just life in general, it has been tough.

Josh and I went to Red Robin last week to use my free birthday burger. The waitress brought me a sundae, even though we weren't technically celebrating my birthday. It was so sweet!

I was able to celebrate my birthday over the course of a couple of days. I went out of town with a few of my girlfriends who love to dance. We ate at this amazing Japanese restaurant and then went to a country-style dancing club. Even though we weren't really into the music, we had a great time getting away and spending time with each other. I always love the conversations we have when it's just us girls.

I love sushi!

The night before my birthday, I was able to get together with some other friends. Being born during cold and flu season, over the half the people that were supposed to be there, weren't able to make it. But I actually ended up being really happy that it was a smaller group. We were able to talk about some things that we've all apparently being struggling with...and it made me realize that I am not alone in how I've been feeling lately.

 My sweet friends surprised me with red velvet cupcakes!

Yesterday was my actual birthday. I got to work and had the sweetest surprise on my desk. I then went and got my free Starbucks drink and came home to make some yummy brownies for dessert later that evening. We went out to dinner with our families, which was a really fun evening.

I unfortunately did not take any pictures of the last two birthday celebrations and I am pretty bummed about that.

I got some of the sweetest messages, texts and phone calls yesterday. It was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits.

 My birthday surprise at work! Don't mind my messy desk.

I tried the Caramel Flan Frappuccino. Not too bad, but definitely not my favorite.

I think I've been really struggling lately for a lot of reasons, but it was really great to know that I'm not alone, that the people I love care about me so much, and that God has given me so many wonderful blessings that I am incredibly thankful for.

It doesn't always take a birthday to remind me of that, but it did this time.

It feels a little weird to be in the last year of my 20's. Especially when I look back on my self 10 years ago. 19 year old Breeann was a much different person. A little sad that she was single and had gotten out of a not-so-good relationship. Trying so hard to live for God and in ways that pleased Him. Working with some amazing young people each week and pouring all she could into their lives. Little did she know she would re-connect with someone from her childhood less than a year later who would turn her world upside down.

So in spite of the struggles I've had lately, I have to think that in ten years, I'll be looking back at my 29 year old self. I will be smiling at who she was and remembering the things that brought her to that place. And hopefully reflecting on all the blessings these next 10 years will bring.

29 Things

As I am turning 29 today, I thought I'd share 29 of my favorite things.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Books. I really love reading. I've just gotten kind of lazy in the past couple of years and I've chosen watching TV over reading many times. I've also had a harder time getting into books. But I love Harry Potter, Divergent, and the Hunger Games. I enjoyed the Twilight books as well. I really liked the book Code Name Verity and I used to devour every single Beverly Lewis book about the Amish, because I am completely fascinated by them. I also was on a Nicholas Sparks kick for awhile and have read almost every book he's written. I'm always looking for something that will really catch my attention.

2. Green tea. It has seriously become one of my most favorite things in the past year. I drink it hot or cold, but I really love the way that Starbucks does the shaken iced green teas. They are definitely my favorite and I always get them unsweetened. I usually have a hot cup of green tea every day that I work and sometimes on my days off as well. I just love it!

3. Instagram. Yep, it's one of my favorite things. I think it's actually my preferred method of social media. I love looking at glimpses of what's going on in people's lives. I just wish I had more exciting things to take pictures of most days!

4. Christmas. Obviously. It's always been my favorite holiday. I seriously get so excited when October rolls around because I know Christmas is coming soon. I love the music, the lights, the wrapping of gifts, the trees and ornaments, the fact that we celebrate Jesus's birthday...I love it all.

5. Clouds. I've noticed that I have to take a picture whenever I see really cool looking clouds in the sky. I seriously love them. I'm just always disappointed that my pictures are never able to capture their depth. I think fluffy clouds are the best.

6. Flip flops. I could seriously wear them year round (and would if it wasn't so dang cold in the winter). My favorite brand is Teva and I have no problem spending $25 on a good pair of flip flops that last and are comfy on my feet.

7. Candy. It can be a serious downfall for me. I especially love fruity candies. Skittles, Chewy Mini Sweet Tarts, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst...yum! I also love anything with peanut butter and chocolate, cookies and cream bars, anything with toffee in it, and white chocolate peppermint M&Ms. So good!

8. American Eagle jeans. They are the only jeans that I've been able to find that fit me correctly and don't cost an arm and a leg. I especially love their skinny jeans, boyfriend cut, and artist jeans. So comfy!

9. Starbucks. So I know I already mentioned Starbucks when I talked about green tea, but I also love Starbucks for their pumpkin spice lattes and their chai tea lattes. So yummy! I also love their pumpkin cream cheese muffins. They are to die for!

10. Avocados. Yep. They are for sure one of my favorite things. I used to hate them when I was a kid, but I can't get enough now. Sometimes I purposefully order whatever on the menu has avocado or fresh guacamole on it, because I love it that much. I love eating them by themselves, as well as on salads, burritos, and burgers.

11. Necklaces. I love wearing them, but I have to be careful that they aren't too heavy because they make my neck hurt. Some of my favorite necklaces have been gifts from friends. Some of my friends and I have the same cross necklace and I love it. I also have a very special necklace that my bestie got for me for being her bridesmaid. I cherish it so much and I love to wear it. I also have other necklaces that have very significant meanings for me and I love having that reminder around my neck.

12. Headbands. I love them! I love that they can instantly add to any outfit...and they are perfect for bad hair days or even no wash days. I have so many that I adore.

13. Essential oils. This is a more recent favorite of mine, but I seriously love them! They have helped me so much with my pain and I'm hoping to get some others soon to help with other things. I love that they are meant to help your body heal itself, and that using them means using less unnecessary chemicals and medications.

14. Scarves. I seriously have an obsession with scarves and I get so many as gifts. I love them! I like to keep my neck warm in the winter, especially when I'm in pain, and they are so perfect for that. And, they can add so much to an outfit.

15. In n Out. Yep. It's one of my favorite things. It's one of the only places I will eat fast food now. I usually only get a burger when I go and just eat a couple of Josh's fries. Their burgers are just so good to me.

16. Blogging. Obviously it's one of my favorite things. I love that I have a place I can share my thoughts and memories like this. I also love reading other people's thoughts and seeing their pictures and reading their stories. It's such a beautiful way of expression.

17. Water. I really do love water. I am perfectly happy to drink a lot of water all the time. I'm just kind of picky with how my water tastes. There are many bottled waters that I can't stand. I can't really describe why I like what I do, but I just know I don't like my water to taste slimy or gross.

18. Disneyland. Oh, it's definitely one of my favorite things. I have SO many fond memories of various vacations there and I hope to have many more in the future. I have always loved Disney movies and it's just such a magical place for me.

19. Dates with Josh. Oh yes. They are my favorite. We have a standing sushi date each month after he gets paid. It's one of my favorite nights of the month. We also have a lot of stay in movie or TV show nights where we cuddle on the couch and eat ice cream or drink hot chocolate or tea. I love spending quality time with my husband.

20. Dancing. It's always been a part of my life, in one form or another. Considering I was a ballet dancer for 14 years of my life, and having taken jazz, tap, and hip hop lessons, I just love it so much. I love interactive games like DDR and Just Dance, and I love to go out dancing as well. It's great exercise and it's just so fun to let loose sometimes.

21. Coffee dates with friends. Well, really any kinds of dates with friends. I love spending time with my friends and being able to have serious conversations with them. And wherever that can take place, I'm perfectly fine with.

22. Music. Oh man. Music has been a huge part of my life. So many songs have spoken to my heart and rocked my world. I am obsessed with practically any song that has piano in it, but I also love all kinds of other music. My taste is very all over the place, but I love it. I just like a lot of different stuff.

23. Massages. They are kind of a vital part of my life right now, but I liked when they were a luxury, too. I feel so much better after one (even if I'm a little sore) because I know they help me so much.

24. TV shows. Oh yes. There are many that I love. Some of my all-time favorites are LOST, Gilmore Girls, Breaking Bad, Grey's Anatomy, Downton Abbey, The Walking Dead, and Parenthood, to name a few. We watch a lot of shows and I'm always finding new ones to check out on Netflix.

25. Pictures. I love being able to look back on things that I've done and people I've spent time with. Those memories captured in those images are so precious to me. I wish I took even more pictures than I do, because I miss some pretty important moments sometimes. I'm just thankful for the memories that I do have preserved in that way.

26. Rain. I seriously love the rain. I love hearing it, I love driving in it, and I love the smell of it. We have only had maybe three days of rain all winter and I really miss it.

27. Driving. I really do like driving. It can really calm me sometimes. Josh and I used to go on lots of drives when we were first dating because we didn't have money to do much of anything else...and gas was a lot cheaper then. We still have some of our best conversations when we are driving.

28. Babies. Oh yes. I seriously love babies. I love the way they smell, I love holding them, I love how tiny and precious they are. They are for sure my favorite.

29. Singing. I have always loved to sing. I have always had a pretty easy time memorizing songs (unfortunately even songs I don't like). I just love being able to use my voice in that way. I love singing for worship and I love just singing in the car or at home. I love harmonizing and being able to hear a song and notice the harmony part right away. It's so fun.

So there you have it. 29 of my favorite things. Of course, there are many other things that I love, but I'm not that old yet.

Change

I feel like I'm in this weird spot in life right now.

I went through a period of time a few months ago where I didn't want to be around a lot of people, because of some hard times I was going through. I was fine one on one, but being around a lot of people, who might ask me a lot of questions, was just overwhelming.

Soon after that, we experienced some big changes at our church. It's been an adjustment and a lot of things have changed in good (and maybe some not as good) ways.

Since then, I've had a hard time finding my place. We have had some recent changes in the Bible study we do and the men's Bible study Josh attends has also shifted and changed.

With so much change, I always wonder what it's going to bring. Is it going to be a rough time of change or a good one? Is there a lot more change coming or is this about it?

It's been hard for us to find our place this past few years because many of our friends have kids...and we don't yet. We have quite a few friends that don't have kids as well, but it's just hard sometimes being the only ones at an event without kids.

So, in short, life is just different right now.

I'm hoping to be starting a women's Bible study again sometime in the near future. I really miss and need that connection with other women and I'm excited for what this opportunity will bring.

I'm also looking forward to my birthday next week. I always enjoy spending time with friends and family, so it will be fun to be able to do that.

And, Josh and I have a couple of really fun things planned in the next couple of months. I am incredibly excited about both and can't wait to share more about them.

So, life may be weird and different and changing a lot right now, but it's still good. I just need to remember Who to keep my focus on in the midst of all of this change, and I will be fine.

New Year

While I really loved Christmas and New Year's last year/this year, they were definitely the most different we have ever spent them.

The day after Christmas, we headed to Disneyland to spend some time with Josh's family. We got home the following weekend and started preparing for another trip.

This was the first year in a long time that I did not stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve. We went to a little shindig at K and V's house and left at 10pm. I was definitely a little bummed about leaving because we were having such a great time with some of our friends, but we were getting up early the next morning and I knew I wanted more than five hours of sleep.

My beautiful sister and I

The next morning, we picked up my sister and her husband and headed out...to Disneyland again! We planned this trip a long time ago, long before we knew about the trip with Josh's family, so we aren't as crazy as we may seem (though trust me, going on two vacations that close together is definitely crazy).

They really love each other

We were able to have dinner with some friends our first night there. One of the couples was celebrating their first anniversary in Disneyland and the other couple lives close by. It was fun to be able to share a meal with them.

In front of Monsters University

We had such a blast in Disneyland. It wasn't nearly as busy as it was the week before when we were there, but it definitely had its crazy moments. It was just fun to be able to go with my sister and brother-in-law, as it had been 7 years since we'd been with my sister and it was our first time with my brother-in-law!

My favorite spot to take a picture with my husband

Even though we had such a good time, I must say I am thankful to be home and to catch up on some rest. We pushed ourselves pretty hard to get as much stuff done as we could and it was definitely worth it...but it was so tiring! I'm just thankful to have some new wonderful memories to cherish with my family.

 On Space Mountain. We purposefully made crazy faces

 And Splash Mountain...can you tell I was excited about getting wet?

In Review

I know I already shared quite a bit about 2013, but I have a few more thoughts.

For the past five years, I have created a collage of pictures at the end of the year. It's been my way of looking back on everything that happened that year and remembering all of the good and bad things that happened.

This year, I started a folder early in the year and slowly added pictures to it as things happened.

Looking through the pictures, I realized how much and how fast things can change in a year. I look at pictures of myself from the beginning of the year and I see a girl who was pretty unhealthy and who had much longer hair. My bestie was pregnant in the beginning of the year and I have a picture holding her newborn son on the day he was born, the day I got to be in the room with her and experience birth for the first time. There are pics with friends who used to live here and have moved away. There are pictures with friends and family that have moved away and came home for visits. There are pictures at weddings and pictures from vacations and pictures from other various celebrations.

I love the stories that pictures paint. When I look at pictures, I can remember those exact moments like they were yesterday.

There are many moments from this year that weren't captured in a picture...and even though I don't have a physical reminder of them, I still remember them clearly.

I don't have pictures of moments spent with some friends and family and that makes me a little sad. I tend to forget how fleeting and precious life is, and sometimes those moments we spend with others can be the last time we ever see them.

One of my goals in 2013 was to take more pictures...and I definitely did that. There are still many moments I wish I had pictures of, but I am happy that I did better this year than I did last year.

I don't like New Year's resolutions and I don't like setting goals for myself that I know I won't keep. But I do have a few hopes and dreams for 2014.

I want to be even more intentional in my relationships with other people. I want to help people to grow and flourish...and I want to be more available for when they may need me. I am a lot less busy now than I was this time a year ago and I want to take advantage of that extra time by being more available to people.

I want to read and journal more...the Bible and other books. I do pretty good with my Bible reading either when I'm in a Bible study or when I'm following a Bible reading plan. But I want to pick it up more often when it's not "required" of me to do so. I also want to read more books again. I've had a hard time getting into a lot of books in the past couple of years, but I have really enjoyed the ones that I have read (Hunger Games, Divergent, etc.). I just miss the days when I used to read more.

I am very excited for a few things that we have planned for this year. I think our lives are going to change a lot and I'm pretty excited to see how it all happens. I think 2013 was a big year of preparation for Josh and I. God brought us through some pretty tough situations and allowed us to experience many things that have helped us grow and learn so much. I believe everything happens for a reason and that God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose, so I'm excited to see the good He's going to bring...as well as to see and experience the tough situations that will refine us even more.

I'm pretty sure the best word to describe 2013 is beautiful. It was very tough in many ways, but it was also amazing in others. God brings beauty from ashes and I've definitely seen and experienced some of that beauty this year. I am thankful that He uses the tough things in life to shape and mold us into the people He wants us to be...and I'm excited to see how He shapes us in 2014.