On Church and Women

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life.

I love it in so many ways. Josh and I have some amazing friends, we have a lot of fun together, and we both have great jobs. He's doing such an awesome job with the jr. highers at our church and I'm so proud of him. I was doing a couple of Bible studies, but both of those have ended for the time being. So right now, I'm not really doing anything at church besides Sunday mornings.

I've been struggling this past year with finding my place there. Not in our church itself, but in where to serve. I debated and prayed over a few different opportunities that came up, but none of them worked out. I know I need to be doing something to serve in the church, but I just don't really know what that looks like yet.

I know it's been a struggle since the Sunday night service at our church ended. The community we built there was incredible and it was really hard to see it go. I also think often about the women's Bible study my friend A.G. started with my sister over 8 years ago that was so instrumental in the lives of so many women. I long for those days to still be happening, because they were such an important part of my life.

But I often wonder if we as humans live too much in the past.

Do I long for those days because something like that needs to happen again? Or is it because it was comfortable and familiar and I have fond memories of it?

Where do we draw the line between what we've known and the new changes that happen around us all the time?

I have continuously felt a tug on my heart these past few years to be involved somehow with something to do with women. I've listened a few times and been involved with various Bible studies or small retreats. I've done some mentoring and I've reached out to some women. But I still feel that tug, even after everything I've already done. I know there's something more I'm supposed to do, but I still don't know exactly what that looks like yet.

But I do know this: I don't need to try to replicate what I've experienced in the past. Those memories are very precious to me and hold a special place in my heart. A part of me will probably always long to have those days back, because they were a very influential part of my life. But it's time to live in the now and to see what things God wants to do in the people in my life now.

So with that, I'm praying. I'm praying for clarity and direction on what this looks like for me. I know there are many different ways this could play out, but I'm excited to see how it all comes together.

02.16

It's time to share some highlights from February!

The first and biggest highlight was our trip to Disneyland for our anniversary! You can read all about that trip here.

We also went to Disney on Ice with our niece and her parents! This was the first year that Josh and I were able to go together. We saw the Frozen show. While I definitely feel like Frozen has been a bit overdone, I think it was the perfect story to tell on the ice! It was my favorite Disney on Ice thus far.

I got to spend some time with my friend E.H. She and her husband D.H. moved out of the state a few years back so he could get his pastoral degree. I was so happy to see her and to catch up on life a little bit. They are expecting their first baby in June and her mom threw her a baby shower while they were here! I'm so glad I was able to be there and to spend that time with her. Josh and I miss them a lot!

I finished reading For the Love with a few girlfriends. It was a really great read with some really thought-provoking subjects. It sparked a lot of great conversations and would be a great read for a book club. It also had some really funny parts as well.

We bought some blackout curtains for our kitchen and dining room. Since I am very susceptible to migraines, I often had to wear sunglasses in the house because the sunlight streaming in from those windows was so bright. Now, I don't have to wear them inside at all!

I started coloring in my adult coloring book that my friend S.W. got me for my birthday. It's been so fun and so relaxing! I've always enjoyed coloring but I felt weird about buying myself a coloring book and crayons, so I'm glad it's now a thing for adults to color!

Can you tell what the theme of the book is?

February was a very busy month for us. Onto March and all it will bring!

Eight

We made it through the seven-year-itch!!

But, on a more serious note, we have now been married for 8 years. It's crazy to think it's been that long, but it also feels weird to think of life before we were married.

I'm so thankful for Josh and for how we've grown in our relationships with God and with each other. It's been a wild and crazy ride, but it's one I wouldn't change for the world!

Happy anniversary, my love!

Dreams are Forever

Josh and I are quickly approaching our 8th wedding anniversary.

It really is hard to believe that we've been married that long, and that we are coming up on 11 years of being together. Our first trip together was a friends trip to Disneyland, so I think it's pretty fitting that we continue to make wonderful memories there together.

We celebrated a little early this year, as it worked better with our schedules and around holidays. It was such a fun trip and I'm so thankful we were able to celebrate another year of our love in our happy place.

 One of the fun photo spots they have set up for the 60th celebration. He's the size of a bug!

 We were there on the day California Adventure turned 15! They passed out these buttons to everyone as they entered the parks

 We got to go on the other side of the tracks! Since the train is out of commission right now due to the Star Wars Land construction, they have train engines parked at two of the train stations. The one in New Orleans Square had a ramp set up for people to explore the other side of the tracks

 We walked through the Redwood Creek Challenge Trail, as neither of us had ever been in there. This tree was a fun place to take a picture

Our traditional picture!

Disneyland was having AP days the entire month of February for annual passholders. Each week had a different theme and different fun offerings. We were there for the end of week one and the start of week two, so we got to experience some stuff from both weeks! They passed out special recipe cards that were special to either Walt or to Disneyland, buttons with the theme for each week, free popcorn and water in certain locations, special meet and greets with rarely seen characters, as well as viewings of videos and TV shows. We were able to watch an episode of Walt's Disneyland TV show that highlighted certain areas of the park, and we got to meet Baloo and King Louie!

 At Main Street station, they have the Lilly Belle parked with the engine. You can't go in it, but you can take pictures through the windows! 

 We got to meet Kylo Ren...and I think we may have accidentally joined the First Order...

 We had our anniversary dinner at the Blue Bayou! We did the Paint the Night package this time, which came with a preferred viewing spot for the Paint the Night Parade. Our dinner came with dessert so we each tried something different. Josh got the chocolate cake and I had the lemon creme brulee. Both were delicious!

 We decided to do the Walk in Walt's Disneyland Footsteps tour again, as it has changed since we did it three years ago. Instead of going into Walt's apartment, they are currently taking guests into the Dream Suite! We were so excited to finally see it. The only bummer was that we couldn't take pictures inside, other than this one that they took of us

 The River Belle Terrace, which used to be a quick service restaurant, recently changed their menu and to a table service restaurant, due to the Big Thunder Ranch BBQ Restaurant that closed permanently last month. They reopened our last night there, so we decided to make a reservation to check it out. The food was delicious! I got the pulled pork sandwich and Josh got the fried chicken sandwich. And then we split the butterscotch pudding parfait for dessert. So good! I highly recommend eating there

We also went to the Cove Bar for the first time and ordered the famous lobster nachos. I wish I would have taken a picture of the plate because it was piled so high! And they were so good. Not to mention their drinks were also delicious.

We also saw the extended preview for Zootopia, which looks like it's going to be really good!

We got stuck on two different rides and had to be evacuated both times, which neither of us had ever experienced before! The first was on Alice in Wonderland, which we were riding as part of our tour. We didn't even make it into the building before the ride stopped, but because of where it stopped, they had to call the fire department to come and rescue us. I realize it was a liability issue, but all they did when they got there was tell us where to step and where to keep walking. They didn't have to touch either of us. Pretty crazy but a fun story to tell. The second ride was Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters and the ride stopped within the first minute of us being in the vehicle. The lights came on, guard rails popped up, and we had to wait for a cast member to come by and pry open our vehicle before we could get out. It was definitely something new to experience!

Oh and we saw Peyton Manning! He and his kids were in a little celebratory parade down Main Street after winning the SuperBowl. We got spots right along Main Street and were able to record part of the parade. It was really cool, as we were not expecting that to happen at all

Before our tour started, we were let into the park before it opened. It was so crazy to be in the park without lots of other people being around. I took this picture after our tour started, before they did rope drop to let people past the end of Main Street

All in all, it was a great trip filled with lots of fun memories. We ate way too much, walked at least 6.5 miles every day, waited in very short lines, and enjoyed doing some of our favorite things. I'm a little sad this was our last trip on our passes, but I'm glad we were able to get so much good use out of them this last year.

01.16

It's a new year and I'm gonna document it in a new way.

For the last year and a half, I have recapped each month (mostly for my own benefit as a way to remember things) of what our lives consisted of. While I loved being able to do that so I have those memories recorded somewhere (as I'm horrible at journaling these days), I also don't just want to be the type of person that only shows the good side of life for social media. I've been really convicted about that the past couple of months. I think too many of us only like to showcase the "picture worthy" moments, which makes people think that our lives are much more glamorous than they actually are.

So this year, I'm gonna highlight a few fun moments from each month, but also share some more real moments and maybe some things that aren't as fun to talk about. I got into blogging because I wanted to share my heart with others, as a way to be encouraging. And while using my blog as a journal is fine, I really want to get back to sharing things that matter a little more than the fun stuff I did last weekend.

So, we start with January!

I had a wonderful evening with two great friends L.B. and S.W. We shared pieces of our stories, our hearts, our frustrations and our hopes. It was seriously one of the most refreshing nights I've had in a long time. I can't wait to have more of those nights in the future.

I went out dancing with a few friends to celebrate R.J.'s birthday...but she surprised S.W. and I and had stuff planned for us as well! It's pretty fun that 3/4 of the dot35 wives all have January birthdays! We had such a great night that started with a really yummy dinner out.

S.W. and I had a combined Harry Potter themed birthday party! It was one of the best birthday parties I've ever had/been to! We did as much as we could to make the party as authentic as possible. We had quite a few of the candies, we had a platform 9 3/4 photo booth, we had a sorting ceremony, we played Quidditch pong, we made butterbeer and polyjuice potion, and we decorated with things like a line of spiders and Harry's Hogwarts letters. It was seriously so much fun!

 Sorting ceremony!

 Luna Lovegood and Sirius Black

 Birthday girls!

January was intense with my myofascial appointments. My therapist told me we are finally getting into some of the deeper restrictions, which has been a bit more painful, but good at the same time. I'm seeing and feeling more physical changes in my body. I'm having to re-learn how to do certain things, including breathing correctly. I had no idea I wasn't breathing normally, but I have so many restrictions in my body that I adapted to that. I apparently have been using secondary muscles as my primary breathing muscles for quite some time now. So it's been a crazy learning process, but I'm so thankful to be improving more and more each week.

I read The Nightingale with my BCBs. It was definitely one of my favorites that we've read so far and I highly recommend it. It's a story about WW2 and what life was like for two sisters who lived in France.

I spent some time playing with my niece one on one while we were at Josh's parents house for a family dinner and it made me realize just how much her life has changed in her almost four and a half years. It's hard to remember how tiny she was and how scary things were when she entered this world, for both her and her mom. I am so thankful for them both and for how they've shaped and changed my life. Life would be so much more boring without my niece.

I also had some really hard days this month. I overdid it with the Harry Potter party prep and spent most of the next day on the couch. I even had to miss church and helping my sister move because I was so sore. I don't often talk about the harder days, as they aren't fun to talk or read about, but I do still have them. Part of my healing process is having hard days to get to better ones. That was one of the first things my therapist told me when I started to see her: sometimes I will feel worse before I feel better. So I have to remember that when I'm feeling really sore and not get too discouraged.

I finished out the month by turning 31. That's such a weird number to type. It's still hard for me to believe that I'm out of my 20s. Life just continues to speed along. January was a busy month, but I'm thankful for all the good and the bad it brought.