Overcoming

I had the opportunity last week to briefly share my story with a woman I had never met before.

I was at a jewelry party my friend was hosting and the consultant asked me why I wanted the particular charm that I purchased.

It's message was simple: tell your story.

I proceeded to explain to her that I have felt God calling me more and more to share my story with others, because I know it needs to be heard. I know I am not the only one who has ever been in this situation...nor will I be the last. But, what has gotten me through time and time again has been the encouragement of knowing that I'm not alone, that there is healing when I open my mouth and speak these words out loud...and that God still has a plan for me.

The first time I told my story on here was quite a while ago. I knew then it needed to be shared. While I was touched by the many emails I received from my post here and from my guest post on Casey's blog, I was more blown away that God used me to speak His words to other women. I am such a wretch most days, so far from the woman I know I should be...and yet my Savior is still able to use me, some way, somehow, to shine His light.

I never thought I would be here, over three and a half years of waiting, and still not have a child to call my own. But I also never could have dreamed I would learn so much, and experience multiple blessings, because of it.

I was drawn to Isaiah 43 tonight. I thought it was fitting for where my heart is (I would encourage you to read the whole chapter, to understand the context better). Here are just a few of the verses that really stood out to me:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing! 

 Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

(Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV)

It's easy in this journey to dwell on the hard stuff, to remember all the painful things, and to wish I could go back to that very first day I stopped taking my pills and tell myself to just trust God. But I can't focus on the past. I can't focus on the things I've done wrong and the things that haven't happened yet. God is doing something new in me...and has been through this whole process. He is refining me and is bringing something beautiful in this wasteland I have lived in. I spent many days in this journey very sad and depressed, longing for a child to hold in my arms. And this whole time, God has been preparing a new and exciting path for me to take...one that I still don't fully understand and can't imagine yet. 

I don't know where your heart is, or what things you are trying to deal with or overcome in your life...but I promise you God still has a plan, He is right there with you, and He is preparing you for something you can't even imagine right now.