Freak Out

I started to freak out a little today about Christmas.

I went into work and realized that it was already December 4th! How the heck did that happen?

I was sitting there, eating my lunch, telling my friend how I needed to get my Christmas shopping done this week or I was going to go crazy. I told her all about my cute ideas for the gifts I'm making and all the things I need to get done.

And yet I sit here now, having finished my Advent reading for today, seriously wondering what the heck is wrong with me.

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen this year.

(Our 2012 ornaments from my in-laws)

I really want to savor every moment this December. I want to really think, each and every day, about why we celebrate and what the purpose of this crazy time of year even is.

I was listening to the radio earlier today and this song by Brandon Heath came on. It's called The Night Before Christmas. And I seriously just sat there in my car and let it wash over me. It explains the reason Jesus came in such a beautiful way.

(We decided to use Josh's ornament as a tree topper, since we don't have one)

I don't know why I freaked out earlier. It really doesn't matter if I give people the perfect present. It really doesn't matter how much time or effort I put into the gifts I'm making. It really doesn't matter if I listen to each of my favorite Christmas songs or watch all my favorite Christmas movies this year. It really doesn't matter that half of my Christmas cards came in with some weird lines printed on them and I have to wait a week for the new ones to come.

(My cute hubby by our tree)

None of it matters if I lose sight of the fact that this time of year is supposed to remind me, in such a powerful way, of what my Savior did for each of us. If my Christmas is not about Jesus, then I don't really get it. If my Christmas is more about driving around to look at pretty lights or trying to come up with a cuter way to decorate my house, I've lost the real magic of this season.

(I am a little obsessed with bokeh)

I'm not expecting perfection...and trying so hard to do Christmas right isn't going to help me stay focused, either. But in the moments that I get too caught up in the other stuff, I hope I will be able to remember that none of that really matters without Him.