February 2008
I look at pictures from our wedding, and even the months leading up to it, and I can't help but smile. We were a couple of kids madly in love, not really fully understanding or grasping what we were getting into...but we just knew we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives.
Circa 2006
There are many, many things we have learned in our six years of marriage. We have gone through some really hard trials and had some amazing, happy times, and through it all, we realize more and more each day that this whole thing would fall apart without God.
About a month after we got back together the last time. Halloween 2005
There are lots of things I wish someone would have told us before we got married. We had a lot of twisted ideas of what marriage was supposed to look like and feel like. I'm very thankful that we have learned since then that many of those ideas were crazy...but it makes me really want to help other young couples to learn these lessons early on...so they know exactly what they are getting into.
The top of Vernal Falls in Yosemite, 2006
We have been so encouraged by our marrieds group. We have learned a lot from the books we've gone through together (the two marriage books being Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, which we are still in, and The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. Both are excellent and I highly recommend them), and we've learned even more from being able to share our stories with each other. It's amazing to me how a couple that has been married for half the time we have can share something with us that they've learned that we haven't yet and vice versa. It's so encouraging to know that we aren't alone in this and that God brought these people into our lives so we could teach and learn from each other.
On our honeymoon, 2008
I think one of the biggest things I could encourage young couples considering marriage to do is to seek wise, honest counsel from people who have married for many different lengths of time. To take notes and to hear their hearts and to get a glimpse of some of the possible struggles and situations that will come up in a marriage. To have real, honest conversations with the person you are planning to marry about anything and everything. You want to know how they handle their finances, what their thoughts on kids are, how they relate and plan to relate with their families, how they handle stressful situations...but most importantly, to know how God ranks in their life. I know Josh and I have not always put God first, because it can be really hard to do, but it makes such a difference in how we treat each other and how we interact within our marriage. God needs to be the One we find our worth in, not each other. Our lives can't revolve around the other person so much that we fall apart and can't live life without them. Marriage is a way that God teaches us how to be holy. It's a beautiful example to us of how He loves the church and how He gave up His life for her. We have to make sure our goal in our marriages is to seek God in all we do and to cling to Him, so that in turn we can love and serve our spouses in the ways we were designed to do so.
Winter 2011
Josh and I had a very serious conversation earlier this week about something he'd read in Sacred Marriage. It's an area in our marriage that we both have a hard time with and something we have had many conversations about in the past. Learning to relate to each other and put each other before ourselves is something I feel we will always struggle with, but it's something we can get better at if we learn to love the way God calls us to love. And one of the ways we can learn to do that is by being obedient to God and to what He clearly calls us to do in His Word.
At my brother-in-law's wedding, 2009
Marriage is hard but beautiful. I have definitely learned that in these past six years. We will never be perfect at it, we will still fight and disagree, we will still have moments of anger and frustration, and some days we might even hate each other a little bit...but that doesn't mean we are supposed to give up on each other or on the commitment we made to God to love each other.
Colorado Trip 2012
It's hard for me to see people we know and love walk through separations and divorce, because I want so badly to fix everything for them and help them to see how great marriage can be. But it's not my job nor my place to do either of those things. I have to focus on God and on my marriage and just hope I can be an example and an encouragement to someone else. And pray hard for those who are in those situations.
Our first pic in front of the Mickey flowers, 2006
So, with all that said, I am just so thankful to God for bringing Josh into my life at the time that He did.
Circa 2009
Many of you probably know how we get together, but it's kind of one of my favorite stories, so I'd like to share it again.
Disneyland Trip 2009
I had gotten out of a pretty bad relationship when I was 18...that didn't fully end until about a year after that. I had a lot of emotional baggage and had suffered through feeling worthless and angry for a long time because of it. I realize now, looking back on that time in my life that I just too immature to handle or even know what a real relationship could and should look like. I thought I was in love and I fell hard on my face. It was a very hard time in my life, but my relationship with God grew and blossomed into something so beautiful after it was over. I seriously felt like a completely different person and truly got to a place of contentment with being single and not trying to find someone to feel that "void" in my life.
Arizona Missions Trip 2008
On March 1st, just a little over a month after my 20th birthday, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize. I soon found out it was from Josh, someone I knew from my past (his mom used to teach at my dance school and he and his brother were involved in some of the children's programs my church did when we were kids), and someone I was seeing a lot more recently because we had a mutual friend. I was getting out of class at my jr. college and he was there as well, heading to Panda Express with one of his best friends. I was already on my way home when he text me and asked if I wanted to have lunch with them. Considering I didn't have anything to do that day, I turned my car around and headed back in that direction.
Disneyland Trip, summer 2009
If I'm being totally honest, lunch was a little awkward for me. I didn't usually hang out with guys I didn't know very well. But Josh and his friend Kevin were pretty funny and kept me pretty entertained the whole time. I left feeling happy I went, but a little weirded out as to how this guy got my number and wondering why he wanted to hang out with me.
At a wedding in 2011
He ended up requesting me to be his friend on Myspace (oh the good ol' days) and we exchanged AIM names (remember that?). We chatted on there for over an hour that day...as well as the next. He ended up asking me out to lunch that Friday (he initially text me on a Tuesday) and I said yes.
Disneyland anniversary trip 2010
He picked me up and we both kind of laughed when I answered the door. We were both wearing green shirts in almost the exact same shade. He took me to a local Mexican restaurant (which is one of our favorites now) and we had such a great time at lunch. He was leaving that afternoon to go to winter camp with his church's youth group as a leader, but he promised he would call me when he got back.
Colorado Trip 2010
He got back Sunday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to hang out. He picked me up and took me over to his friend Jon's house. We hung out over there for a while with a few of his friends and then headed to Starbucks for a coffee. As he was driving me home later that night, he grabbed my hand in the car and told me he really liked me and wanted to go out with me. I was pretty ecstatic and of course said yes.
Disneyland anniversary trip 2011
I left a few days later to drive down to visit the college I was planning to go to with my mom and sister. We stayed with my best friend who was attending a different college in the area. Josh and I talked and text a lot and I found myself really liking him. When I got home from that trip, only a week and a half after he had first text me, he called me and told me he didn't think we should go out anymore. He said he didn't think I was the right girl for him. I was pretty crushed. I barely knew him but I was really loving getting to know him, and I was starting to like him a lot. He promised we would still be friends, which I was thankful for, but I was still pretty disappointed that we weren't going to be anything more.
In our second wedding together, 2012 (not including our own)
Fast forward a few weeks. He had invited me to his church's college group that Monday we were together and my sister and I were continuing to go. We had some friends that were a part of it and we were meeting a lot of new friends. I was of course bummed that Josh and I had broken up, but it was nice to still see him and to still hang out with him and for things not to be weird...because our relationship only lasted about a week. Our mutual friend that I worked with at Hallmark invited us both to go on this really fun trip with another friend to see someone people they knew. We both went and it was so much fun. It was honestly one of the greatest trips I've ever been on. One of the guys we met there ended up kind of liking me and he and his friend started communicating with me a lot when we got back. Two weeks later, Josh asked me if I wanted to go with his friend Jon to look at a car and to see Jon's girlfriend. We ended up going out to dinner with them and Josh kept trying to hold my hand under the table. On the way home, he had his arm around me the entire time. He insisted on driving me home and asked Jon to drop us off at his house so he could drive me home in his car. He kissed me when we got in front of my house and I asked him if that meant that things were different between us...and he said yes. That day was May 1st.
Our very first picture together, spring 2005. That was the shirt he wore when he picked me up for our first date.
From that road trip we went on with our friends, 2005. We were just friends at the time (can you tell that was his favorite shirt?)
We had so much fun together that month. I met his family, got invited to his brother's wedding in July, he spent time with my family and met some of my extended family. I was falling hard and even told him that I thought I could see myself marrying him someday. I did tell him that I was planning to go away for school, so our relationship might have to be long distance for awhile. But he seemed to be ok with that and we continued getting to know each other better. Toward the end of the month, he got freaked out. My grandma told him she thought we would be seeing a lot more of him in the future and he just wasn't ready for that. As much as I pretty much already knew that he was the one for me, he wasn't sure yet and what she said made him a little nervous. So, he broke up with me again. This time, I was devastated. I was so sad because I was falling in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him...and he obviously didn't feel the same way.
Fall 2013
That summer was hard. We were still friends, we still hung out...but he was dating other people. He talked to me about these other girls and I was honest with him about what I thought of all of them. I started talking more to the guy we had met on that trip and was pretty sure he really liked me. My sister and I drove to see them that summer and I got to know him a lot better. I was pretty sure when we left that he would be my boyfriend soon...but that was not the case. About a week later, he called me and told me he had started dating someone there. While I was a little hurt, it didn't crush me, because I think I more liked the idea of being with someone, and didn't like him as much as I thought I did. I was still thinking about Josh all the time and hoping we would get back together.
Disneyland anniversary trip 2012
Meanwhile, my ex had called me and apologized for everything that happened in our relationship. It was a very unexpected but pleasant call. We decided to try and be friends again and hung out a few times that summer. I went to a concert he invited me to and I guess one of his friends was really interested in meeting me. He asked me if I would consider going on a group date with them so his friend could meet me. Since Josh and I were still friends, I asked him on AIM what he thought about blind dates. His response? "I think they're stupid". Little did I know what God was stirring up in his heart.
Josh's ugly Christmas sweater party, 2011
The next day, our mutual friend and I were at Starbucks studying when an old friend of theirs from high school came in and started asking her how Josh was doing. She ended up calling Josh and telling him he should come down and meet us. When he walked in that door, with freshly cut hair and looking so freaking cute, my heart seriously flip flopped. I was still so into this boy. And for some reason, I got this vibe that he was into me as well. My friend and I left and I told her I was really hoping to have another chance with Josh. She pretty much told me I was crazy and that it would be stupid for me to get back together with him, unless I just wanted my heart to be broken a third time. While I valued her opinion, there was just something in me that told me things really could be different (and now she and I can laugh about this. She was just looking out for me and I appreciated it so much. I'm so thankful to have a friend that can be that honest with me).
Disneyland anniversary trip 2013
I got on AIM when I got home and Josh was on. He told me that he felt like God wanted us to be together again but he wanted to get together with me to talk about it. We made plans to meet up at a park later that night. My mom and I went to that local Mexican restaurant to pick up some food for dinner and as we were waiting for it to be ready, I told her about my conversation with Josh. I think she was a little hesitant about us getting together again, but she trusted my judgment, so she never let on that she was nervous about it.
Our first winter camp together as leaders, 2006
That evening, I drove to the park and found Josh there waiting for me. He grabbed my hand and took me over to the slide and kissed me. After he told me he just needed to do that to know that he was doing the right thing. We talked in my car for a long time after that and he told me that he knew we were going to end up together, because he knew God wanted us to be together. While he said he was 100% sure at that moment, he later told me that he wasn't. He knew that God had made that clear to him, but he was only willing to try again because of that. It took him a little longer to figure that out for himself (less than a month). That day was September 26th.
Disneyland trip, fall 2013
Ever since then, we have been us. We had our ups and downs and a lot longer of an engagement than either of us wanted, but we knew that this was real, and it was worth fighting for. We experienced some heartache together (both of us lost a grandparent within a month of each other, right before we got engaged) and we learned so much about what being in a relationship should look like. I never went away to school and I honestly can say that it was for the best. God had a better plan and I'm so thankful for it. I was supposed to go away a year before Josh and I got together and it didn't happen. I tried every semester to get there and something always fell through. It was obviously not meant to be.
Taken after we got engaged, Christmas 2006
So here we are, almost nine years since that first text message was sent, and I feel so blessed. We may have had a rocky start, but we are here now and neither one of us could picture our lives any different. I am so thankful that he stole my number out of our mutual friend's phone and that he decided to text me that day. I am so thankful that he listened to God that day in September and that I didn't go on that blind date. I am so thankful that guy we'd met ended up dating someone else. And I'm so thankful that none of the girls Josh dated that summer ended up working out. God knew all along where we would be in nine years and I'm so incredibly thankful that things turned out the way they did.
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