Some December Thoughts

I am so behind on blog posts and feel like I'm behind on life in general these days.

I'm not sure when life kicked into this high of a gear, but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed this week.

It's December 12th. Christmas is 13 days away. And yes, we got all of our Christmas shopping done. And yes, we've watched some Christmas movies and done some fun Christmas activities. And yes, our house is decorated (I'm staring at my lit up Christmas tree right now). And yes, the majority of our Christmas cards have been sent out or delivered to the people receiving them. But I still feel like something is missing.

There's so much talk of Christmas plans and where we are going when. My brain already hurts just thinking about it. I really just want a morning, or an afternoon, or some chunk of time over the Christmas weekend to have some time alone with Josh, so that we can do our own Christmas at home.

And I've been doing a lot of vendor events. I did 5 within the first week of December. I've got 1, possibly 2 more coming up this month.

I just feel tired. And like I'm whining. I'm really not meaning to, though. I really just want to take some time and think about why we celebrate Christmas. What does it all mean? Why do we spend all this time buying the perfect gifts and then wrapping them? Why does our calendar instantly fill up when December rolls around? Where does Jesus fit into all of it?

I love Christmas. Don't get me wrong. It's my absolute favorite holiday. It always has been. There's something about all the colorful lights everywhere and the songs and the joy of spending time with loved ones.

But I want it to be more than just a fun, busy month this year.

It's really easy to lose sight of Jesus. I've been doing it all month. I've been so worried about everything we've had on our calendar and all the things we've needed to buy, that I've kind of forgotten what all of it means. Or what all of it should mean.

I want to give gifts because it's a small reflection of the love I have for someone, and because Jesus gave us the ultimate gift by dying on the cross for our sins, not because I feel like I need to or have to. I want to do fun events with the people I care about because I enjoy their company and who they are in my life, not because it's just something we've always done or because I'm fulfilling an obligation. I want to watch Christmas movies and listen to certain Christmas songs because they make me feel happy and nostalgic, not because I want to make sure to check those off a list of things I've done this holiday season.

And so I've decided to take some time out this month to focus on the reason why this season is so special. I want to spend some time studying and reading the Word: the prophecies about Jesus's coming, His birth and what He brought to our world. I want to spend some time thinking about and expressing my appreciation and love for the people in my life. All too often we take people for granted or assume they know how we feel. And I want to spend some time examining my heart and my life to really figure out what this new year is going to look like for me. It's something I enjoy doing at the end of every year and I think it's really important for me. It helps me to be able to set my focus on some specific goals and helps me to keep myself accountable to them.

I'm also determined to make sure that Josh and I get to spend some time together as our little family of 2. I don't talk very often on this space anymore about our journey and where we've come from, but at this moment in time, we are both content and happy to be just the two of us. I know a lot of people (and it's not really anyone's fault, it's just kind of the way our society is) assume that we aren't a family because we don't have kids. But we are a family and our time together is just as important as it would be if we had 4 kids. We have been married for almost 10 years now and this will be our 13th Christmas together. We got engaged on Christmas Eve almost 11 years ago. This time of year is very important to both of us and I don't want this time to pass by without us getting to acknowledge all that it means to us as a couple and individually.

My hope is that all of us would be able to take some time out in the next two weeks and really reflect on this month, this year and our lives. Don't let the busyness or the obligations or whatever else it may be keep you from enjoying this time of year.