Not Enough

I spent this past weekend with a bunch of teenagers.

Myself and a couple of women I love very dearly made plans a few months back to take some teenage girls from our church to a youth conference. We were in the midst of planning our retreat, and one of the women felt very strongly that we should do something to bless these young girls.

The Bible studies we are involved in are very family oriented. Not just in the fact that people bring their kids (though in one of them, that is the case), but we are all like one big happy (most of the time) family. These teenage girls will often times sacrifice other things they could be doing to take care of the little kids each week. They go the extra mile to be a blessing to so many of the mommas. So, my friend really felt strongly that we should plan a weekend centered around blessing these girls, doing something that was meant just for them, instead of trying to include them into our retreat.

And, I'm so glad she suggested that.

So, with four adults and seven teenage girls loaded up in two vehicles, we headed out to the conference on Friday. Not living nearby a Chick-fil-a, we were very excited to discover that one was on our way! Only one of us in the group had ever had it before, so we were very excited to try it.

(Chick-fil-a!)

It was fabulous! Chick-fil-a definitely did not disappoint. The food was amazing, the customer service was better than most sit down restaurants I've been to, and it totally hit the spot. My crazy, dear friend was trying to marry off one of her daughters to the guy behind the counter...that's how impressed we all were with this place. He said he went to the local Baptist church, and that was enough for her to decide he should marry her daughter. We had a lot of laughs over that for the rest of the weekend.

(Said boy is the one on the left trying to eat our food)

We then continued on, checked into our hotel, and then headed to the conference.

I had been to this particular conference many times when I was younger...either as a student or a youth leader. But, it had been seven years since I'd been, so I was a little anxious about what it was like now.

(Getting ready to go into the conference!)

The conference was really great. The worship was great, the bands were awesome, and most of the speakers were pretty good, too (one guy totally rubbed me the wrong way early on in his talk and I couldn't focus on anything else he said after that). But, most importantly, the girls seemed to get a lot out of this weekend, and that was more than we could ask for.

Someone suggested we should make matching shirts after we saw many groups there with the same bright colored shirts on. We took a trip after the session on Friday night to Walmart to buy the supplies to make our shirts...and spent the next couple of hours designing them and adding our artistic flair to them. Needless to say, not much sleep was to be had that night.

(In the elevator in our hotel, before shirt prep)

We woke up far too early the next morning to get to the conference. The only thing that I think is a big downfall to these kinds of things is how many sessions and concerts they cram into a day and a half. It started at 8am in the morning and wasn't over until 9:45pm on Saturday...that makes for a really long day. And, with only a couple of hours of sleep under our belts, it felt even longer. Granted, they give you a two hour break for lunch, another two hours for dinner, and a couple of fifteen minute breaks throughout the day...but it's still hard to concentrate that long. I think I definitely would have gotten much more out of it if they would have stretched everything over three days instead.


We had a lot of fun on our lunch break with a local youth group that set up big speakers and had people dancing in the middle of the parking lot. We all jumped into the circle at one point and suddenly everyone in the crowd was dancing with us.


The big thing they were pushing all weekend was how being normal is not enough. As Christians, we shouldn't be ok with looking like everyone else. We should be striving to look much different from the world...and be ok with that. In today's society with all the crazy things constantly coming at our teenagers, I think this message was so important for the girls to hear. In a world where "different" is looked down upon, and people are put into boxes or given labels for the way they dress or the things they do in their spare time, normal is sought after. Acceptance is what everyone longs for.


And, it really made me think about myself. How often am I striving to be like everyone else...whether it be the way I dress or the way I talk or the things I do with my life...instead of being the unique individual God created me to be?

(We called ourselves the Pink Ladies)

It's so easy to do what everyone else is. Different takes work. It's hard. And, many times, it brings us a lot of ridicule. But, Jesus was different and calls us to be different. How can we turn our backs on that?

I walked away from this weekend a little on the tired side, but really blessed. I have such a heart for these young women and I'm excited to see how God is going to continue to use me in their lives.

Easter Weekend

As I mentioned in my last post, God really spoke to me a lot this weekend.

I spent some serious time praying, crying, and worshiping. It was tough at times, but seriously amazing.

The rest of the weekend was full of fun interactions with family and friends. I didn't pull out my camera much, which I am totally regretting now, but there's not much I can do to change that now.

Friday night, we attended the Good Friday service at our church. We also had 24 hours of prayer going on at our church from Friday night to Saturday night that my hubby and I both participated in. Each person took a two hour shift and there were at least three other people praying with them. It was an amazing time to pray for our community, our churches, and the people who would be attending the Easter services.

Saturday, we went to the Easter service at our church and then spent the evening enjoying some pizza and laughs with some good friends. I'm always blown away and so thankful to have the people in my life that I do. It amazes me how God brings people together who are so different, yet have so much in common because of Him.

Sunday, we celebrated my sister's birthday and Easter with my family, and then headed over to spend some time with Josh's family. I got to see all three of my beautiful nieces, which always makes for a good day. We ended our Easter Sunday with an impromptu worship session at a friend's house with our buddy from CO. It was an amazing time of reflection and putting our focus back on the reason for Easter.

My hubby had yesterday off work as well, so we took a trip to meet my friend's new baby!

(Isn't she gorgeous?!?)

(My sister came with us, too!)

We also went to an aquarium while we were there. Any time I am near an aquarium, I love to go. I am so fascinated by sea life. If it weren't for the fact that I'm a chicken when it comes to the ocean and that you have to take a lot of hard math classes, I really would have loved to have become a marine biologist. But, since those two things are pretty important for that job, I guess I have to be ok with visiting the animals in aquariums.

(My hubby took the aquarium pictures. I love the vibrant colors!)

It was a wonderful weekend and I'm so thankful for all the time I was able to spend with the people I love.

This is the Day

I've been doing a lot of hard reflecting on Easter and what it means.

God has convicted my heart in powerful ways of things I thought were impossible...but He reminded me that with Him, everything is possible.

I woke up this morning with this song in my head and can't help but sharing it.

This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing

Just beautiful.

Remember this in the midst of your interactions with people this weekend. God is calling...are you listening?

Emerging Moth

I've been going through the book Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer for the past two months with some women in my life.

While most of it has not been a totally new revelation or something I'd never heard before, this book just makes so much more sense than everything I have heard before. Priscilla presents it in a way that makes you want to slap yourself on the forehead, but also in a practical way that makes it easier to live out.

Anyway, in this past week's chapter, she shares a story of how there was an emperor moth cocoon that her son had been watching, waiting for the moth to emerge. When the day arrived, they both sat there, watching the moth struggle for quite some time. Her son wanted to help out the moth, but she used it as an opportunity to teach her son the importance of struggling. She tells him, "If it gets out too early, without fighting through, it'll be crippled the rest of its life".

Source

In the light of my personal struggles with infertility, I completely see the importance of the struggle. These past three years have been so up and down with where I've been at in my life...but this past six months have been the best I've had in a long time. Because I've finally struggled my way out of the cocoon I'd built around myself...and I've been able to emerge into the moth I was meant to be...the woman who doesn't allow herself to be held down by a seemingly impossible situation. The woman who fully puts her trust in the Lord and His abilities (at least, in this area. Trust me, I still have plenty of control struggles in other areas of my life).

But, if it weren't for the struggle to get out of that place...if I could have just emerged in a snap of my fingers as a new and beautiful moth...I wouldn't have learned the importance of trusting God and letting go of my own desires and wants.

And, that is just not the way God works. As Priscilla says, "Since our heavenly Father's goal is to help us reach our full spiritual potential as believers in Christ, we too will often be challenged by the things He calls us to do".

So today, I'm choosing to embrace the challenges and struggles God puts in my path. Because while they may be tough at first, the end result is definitely worth it.

I'm linking up at:

An {Update} on the Baby Front

For those that haven't been following my blog very long, I shared my story here, as well as on Casey's blog here, about my issues with infertility (I still cringe a little typing out that word).

It's been a little over three years since I stopped taking birth control...and I still don't have a baby.

And, surprisingly? I'm actually pretty ok with it.

There are still days that I long so badly to be a mother. I mostly get that itch when I'm holding one of my nieces, or see a cute baby at church or in the store. But there are also many days that I don't think about it at all.

And while this scared me quite a bit at first, because I thought I was losing the desire altogether to be a mother, I really don't believe this is the case.

I think I'm just finally learning to be content with where my life is right now.


I've said multiple times in the past couple of years that if we had a baby, we wouldn't be able to do half the stuff that we've done (serving projects, overnight retreats, late night hang outs with our friends, etc.)...but I don't think I really believed that and meant it until now.

I seriously have been taking the time to really evaluate my life and what's important to me...and I've seen the things I've been able to accomplish and do. I would not have been able to do very many of them at all (or at least, not in the same way) if I had a small child right now.

While God knows this is still a very big desire of mine, He also knows what's ultimately best for me.

And, right now, I think that where He has us and what He has us doing is best...better than having a baby (at least until that changes, of course).

As far as the technical side of things, we are not pursuing any kinds of treatments or help or testing of any sort at the moment. We really feel strongly that for now, we will just wait things out and see what happens.

If you would have told me three years ago that in three years from that point, I still wouldn't have a baby, I might have fainted. But, having lived the past three years, I'm really ok with it.

I guess I'm really learning that God truly does know what's best for us. Even when we can't see it for ourselves. Even when we are so blinded by the deep desires and longings of our hearts that we refuse to see anything else...His way is always best.

And, as of right now, I am totally ok with that.