Letting Go

Remember this post I wrote a few weeks ago?

I felt on top of the world when I wrote that. I knew that God loved me immensely, that He had amazing plans for my life, and that He had never left me. Yet, two and half weeks later, I had forgotten all about that.

Things didn't go the way I thought they were going.

I was let down.
I was hurt.
I was broken.

I actually spoke out loud to my husband that I thought that God didn't want me to be happy or have anything good in my life.

Needless to say, he was shocked.

And, to be perfectly honest, I was a little unnerved. I didn't understand why I felt that way...why I would really think something like that...when I know with absolute certainty that it's not true.
I know God loves me. I know He has good things in store for me...and that He wants good things in my life. I know that.

And yet I let satan tear me down...and I believed his lie.

I'm tearing up just thinking about how low I was in that moment as I bawled my eyes out.

How could I ever doubt the incredible, unconditional love of my Savior? How could I lose sight so quickly of every amazing thing He has done in my life? How could I tell my husband that God didn't want me to have good things in my life, when he is one of the best things that ever happened to me?

(We had lunch at Buca di Beppo on our way. Yum!!)

The theme of the women's retreat I went on this past weekend was Beyond my Comfort Zone - I'm Letting Go.

A.maz.ing.

Isn't it so crazy how God works to get our attention?

I had no idea what to expect for last weekend...and I was blown away.

I met some amazing women, got to know some other women much better, heard amazing messages from our awesome speaker, and allowed Jesus to heal my heart.

It was fabulous...even with all of the crazy weather and roads being closed.

Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear this weekend...and He made sure I heard it. Loud and clear.


Our theme song for the weekend was perfect, too. It's called I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli. The lyrics are so perfect.

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Jesus is amazing. The fact that He truly does love me so much, even through my doubting, is beyond me. I'm so grateful for that love.

Randomness on an {early} Friday

First of all, I was VERY excited to find these delights in the grocery store this evening:

(I have been known to eat 7 or 8 bags of these, with the help of my hubby, in about a month's time. Don't judge. You know you have a sweet tooth, too)

I am looking forward to a weekend with some ladies from church. This is my first time going to the women's retreat and I am excited to see what it's like. The weather is supposed to be crazy there, too, so we will be spending a lot of time indoors...but that is perfectly fine by me!

I am also REALLY excited for another much anticipated trip occurring very soon! That trip will definitely get its own blog post when I return.

I'm also wishing I had a million dollars and could buy a lot of the cute stuff I've been seeing in different shops lately. Shops like Just.Lovely.Things, Sugar Money, Gussy Sews, and lollipops.

Did I mention I won a giveaway this week? Just.Lovely.Things had a bunch of giveaways last week on her blog...and I won a custom made scarf from Repent Industries by Nikkisic! I am SO excited to see how it's going to turn out!!

What are some random things in your life today?

Mercy

I've been reading in Romans the past two weeks.

(We've been going through it for my Tuesday night Bible study)

As I was reading through Romans 11 tonight, I came across a couple of verses that really hit me hard.

The first are verses 20-21 (for the full context, read Romans 10 and 11. For a quick synopsis, Paul is talking about the way the Israelites kept hardening their hearts towards God and how the Gentiles now have the chance for salvation):

...But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.

Ouch.

How many times do I take my salvation for granted?

I am not Jewish.
I am not an Israelite, nor one of God's chosen people.
Yet, Christ extended His hand out to me and offered me salvation.

Why do I act like it's something I can just claim or use when I need it...instead of something that should consume my whole life?



Here's the other verse:

For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.
(vs. 32)

How many times do I take His mercy for granted?

I sin.
Every.single.day.

I wouldn't have salvation or the promise of eternal life without His mercies.

I'm a screw up.

And yet, many times I think, "Well, at least I'm not doing that...or that...or that..."


Yeah.
Because God measures different sins differently, doesn't He?

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
(James 2:10)

Yeah.
He sure doesn't.

Just some things He's showing me tonight.

What has He been showing you lately?

Giveaway!

Ok, so I am not hosting a giveaway...though I have been thinking about it quite a bit lately.

Little Miss Momma is hosting a Scentsy giveaway on her blog! It's a $25 gift certificate to buy Scentsy's products! They have a lot of cute new warmers for the spring and summer...and also some new scents! If you have never checked out Scentsy before, be sure to head to Little Miss Momma's blog and click on the link for her friend's Scentsy shop. If you're already a Scentsy fan, then I'm sure you need a new scent or two...or more...or maybe even a new pretty warmer for spring! I especially love the new Heirloom warmer. So pretty with a lace touch!

Anyway, check out Little Miss Momma's blog to enter the giveaway!

The Wacky World of Blogging

I have definitely done a lot of branching out into the blogging world these past couple of months.
When I first started this blog, the only blogs I followed were those of people I physically knew. Six months later, I started following a blog a friend recommended. And, it's only been within the last four or five months that I have truly started seeking out other blogs to read by people I've never met. And, let me tell you, it has been an amazing experience. I am constantly being encouraged by these Christian women in other parts of the country. I never thought I'd ever say that.
Anyway, I wrote this blog back in December...but my comment box was all messed up. Since then, the blog I wrote about my struggles with getting pregnant has had 68 views! It amazes me that people are coming to my blog and reading about my story...and many of them are probably people I've never met before.
I'd love to hear more from my readers. I'd love to know if you agree or disagree with what I post. I'd love for you to ask me questions or give me your thoughts...or share your story with me! I know that God can encourage us in many different ways...and I think, in our age of technology, that He definitely does so in this crazy world of blogging.
Feel free to "follow" me if you don't already...or keep lurking, if that's more your thing. I just feel so blessed in this blogging world...that I have the opportunity to share my story and my thoughts with people I don't even know!
And, thanks for taking the time to read. Thanks for being a part of my world. Thanks for the encouragement that I have received from many of you. I never knew what this would evolve into almost two years ago...but I'm lovin' every minute of it!