Just Being Real

I feel the need to be a little real here today.

As this year has had its share of ups and downs, my heart has had some ups and downs, too.

Sometimes I'm really ashamed to think of the things I've said, or the thoughts I've had, or the ways I've reacted in certain situations.

My heart has been a little ugly this year.

In the Bible study I've been doing this fall, we've been learning how to better handle life's disappointments. This past week's chapter was on being meek in the midst of stressful situations.

I, like some of the other women in the group, used to think of meekness as being weak or timid or quiet...almost mouse-like...when in reality, it's more of a humble attitude.

As you probably know, I'm kind of a control freak. I like to have my ducks in a row, and I like to be the one who arranges them. I have a hard time submitting and letting someone else have control. I have an especially hard time letting God have control.

And, one thing I've learned about this control issue of mine is that it's pretty much a pride issue. I want things done my way because "I know best" or "I know how I want it done" or "I will do a better job of it than you will".

I don't like admitting I'm prideful, but there's no other way to say it. You can't sugarcoat this stuff.

So, for someone like me, meekness is a hard thing to walk out. I don't want to be gentle and humble...at least, not all the time. I want to be able to react to situations the way I want to...

I...I...I...

Ugh.

I know that we all have emotions and feelings. I know that as women, it's easy to justify our actions because of the way we feel in certain situations.

But the truth of the matter is, God calls us to a higher standard...and He wants us to be meek in the midst of our situations.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart (the KJV says, for I am meek and lowly in heart), and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

Our perfect example was meek in the midst of every situation He lived through...so why is it so hard for us to be meek?

Because we let our pride get in the way.

I don't know about you, but I don't want my heart to be filled with all this ugliness anymore...