Christmas Reflections

So I just realized today that Christmas is only 35 days away (you're welcome. I know you are probably gonna start stressing a little now)!

I've already been listening to Christmas music on Pandora for the past two weeks (and it's been glorious. iHeart Radio also has a good station called Christmas Lites). I've even done a little of my shopping.

I know Thanksgiving is this week and I have definitely been spending time each day this month reflecting on what I'm most thankful for (check out my daily tweets here or look up the hashtag #30daysofthanks to read what others are thankful for). But, there is nothing like Christmas for me. I spend a lot of time dreaming about Christmas throughout the year...and I've written a lot of blogs about Christmas as well (you can check them out here).

There's just something so magical and wonderful about this time of year.

Last year, I wrote about how I let it slip past me too quickly. I am determined to savor every moment of it this year.

Part of that determination is to keep my focus on what Christmas is all about: Christ coming near to us. I'm gonna be reading through some advent scriptures daily to keep Him first. Starting on December 2nd, I will be tweeting some of my thoughts about the Scriptures with the hashtag #adventreflection. I'd love for you to join me so I can read your thoughts as well!

I found these Scriptures on FOTF's website. You can also purchase an Advent calendar from naptime diaries here (the prints correspond with the shereadstruth Advent reading plan).

Let's really enjoy Christmas this year and the reason why we celebrate it!

Overcoming

I had the opportunity last week to briefly share my story with a woman I had never met before.

I was at a jewelry party my friend was hosting and the consultant asked me why I wanted the particular charm that I purchased.

It's message was simple: tell your story.

I proceeded to explain to her that I have felt God calling me more and more to share my story with others, because I know it needs to be heard. I know I am not the only one who has ever been in this situation...nor will I be the last. But, what has gotten me through time and time again has been the encouragement of knowing that I'm not alone, that there is healing when I open my mouth and speak these words out loud...and that God still has a plan for me.

The first time I told my story on here was quite a while ago. I knew then it needed to be shared. While I was touched by the many emails I received from my post here and from my guest post on Casey's blog, I was more blown away that God used me to speak His words to other women. I am such a wretch most days, so far from the woman I know I should be...and yet my Savior is still able to use me, some way, somehow, to shine His light.

I never thought I would be here, over three and a half years of waiting, and still not have a child to call my own. But I also never could have dreamed I would learn so much, and experience multiple blessings, because of it.

I was drawn to Isaiah 43 tonight. I thought it was fitting for where my heart is (I would encourage you to read the whole chapter, to understand the context better). Here are just a few of the verses that really stood out to me:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing! 

 Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

(Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV)

It's easy in this journey to dwell on the hard stuff, to remember all the painful things, and to wish I could go back to that very first day I stopped taking my pills and tell myself to just trust God. But I can't focus on the past. I can't focus on the things I've done wrong and the things that haven't happened yet. God is doing something new in me...and has been through this whole process. He is refining me and is bringing something beautiful in this wasteland I have lived in. I spent many days in this journey very sad and depressed, longing for a child to hold in my arms. And this whole time, God has been preparing a new and exciting path for me to take...one that I still don't fully understand and can't imagine yet. 

I don't know where your heart is, or what things you are trying to deal with or overcome in your life...but I promise you God still has a plan, He is right there with you, and He is preparing you for something you can't even imagine right now.

October Photo a Day

I can't believe we are already three days into November!

Time is sure flying this year...

Here are my photos from fatmumslim's October Photo a Day Challenge:

Top row: 1. Where I stood - work 2. Lunchtime - part of it anyway 3. This happened today 4. What I read

Second row: 5. Shadow 6. I'm thankful for...lazy afternoons with the hubby 7. Light 8. Angle

Third row: 9. Red - the new cupcake liners I scored at TJMaxx 10. Emotion - this girl stirs up all sorts of emotions in me...mostly love 11. Something close up - just.lovely.things headband 12. On the table - the remnants of a good dinner

Bottom row: 13. Landscape 14. Makes me laugh - Maggie Smith on Downton Abbey 15. Dinnertime - more like what I wished we'd had 16. Something I wrote - grocery list

Top row: 17. Fruit - for smoothies 18. Made me smile today - my shows were actually on 19. Letters 20. 4 o'clock - opening up my LoveClub box!

Second row: 21. Calm - a sick baby and her uncle watching TV 22. In my town 23. The view from here 24. Weather - it was 65 degrees!

Third row: 25. People 26. Listening to - Everybody Loves Raymond 27. Morning 28. Looking back - one of the first pictures I took with my first iPhone

Bottom row: 29. Moon - no filter 30. Clothes 31. Whatever I please - Happy Halloween!

I hope you had a great October! Now it's time for Christmas music, Christmas movies...oh, and of course being thankful (I know Thanksgiving comes first, but once Halloween is over, I get in the Christmas mood big time). I've been posting my daily thanks on Twitter. I've noticed other bloggers are doing the same. You can find the different thankful posts by checking out the hashtags #30daysofthanks or #30daysofthanksgiving. You can find me on Twitter here.

Life Lately

The hubby and I took a little trip this week.

I always enjoy it when we are able to spend time together out of our normal routines.

Here are a few pics from our trip:

(Fisherman's Wharf!)

 (My husband hates Laughing Sal. At least this one wasn't laughing)

 (Playing some of the old arcade games)

 (And you thought we were short before)

 (Lunch at a yummy Irish pub)

 (Apparently dogs need high end clothing)

(Ghiradelli Square)

 (My hubby the pirate - who was kind enough to carry around my purse for a while)

 (AT&T Park - home of the Giants! We didn't go to the game, though. We just wanted to visit the stadium)

 (We had a fun day!)

Some other recent happenings:

We finally decided on our Halloween costumes for this year...and I must admit, I am REALLY excited about them. But, it's a surprise, so you will have to wait until after Halloween to find out what they are.

I have spent more time watching baseball games in the last few weeks than I have in the last couple of years. My team made it to the playoffs, but they are out now. My hubby's favorite team (go Giants!) is in the World Series, so we've been watching a lot of baseball. It's been fun, though. I'm enjoying it.

We have also been spending a lot of time with our precious niece. She is getting so big and is starting to take steps! We got to watch her take four steps this weekend. It was so much fun. She makes both of our hearts very happy.

(Such a happy girl)

 (She loves taking pictures)

I'm also getting really excited for the holidays. We have some fun things planned already. It's gonna be great!

I'm also getting ready to embark on a new adventure that I am really happy about. I will share some more details when it becomes more final.

How has your life been lately?

Just Being Real

I feel the need to be a little real here today.

As this year has had its share of ups and downs, my heart has had some ups and downs, too.

Sometimes I'm really ashamed to think of the things I've said, or the thoughts I've had, or the ways I've reacted in certain situations.

My heart has been a little ugly this year.

In the Bible study I've been doing this fall, we've been learning how to better handle life's disappointments. This past week's chapter was on being meek in the midst of stressful situations.

I, like some of the other women in the group, used to think of meekness as being weak or timid or quiet...almost mouse-like...when in reality, it's more of a humble attitude.

As you probably know, I'm kind of a control freak. I like to have my ducks in a row, and I like to be the one who arranges them. I have a hard time submitting and letting someone else have control. I have an especially hard time letting God have control.

And, one thing I've learned about this control issue of mine is that it's pretty much a pride issue. I want things done my way because "I know best" or "I know how I want it done" or "I will do a better job of it than you will".

I don't like admitting I'm prideful, but there's no other way to say it. You can't sugarcoat this stuff.

So, for someone like me, meekness is a hard thing to walk out. I don't want to be gentle and humble...at least, not all the time. I want to be able to react to situations the way I want to...

I...I...I...

Ugh.

I know that we all have emotions and feelings. I know that as women, it's easy to justify our actions because of the way we feel in certain situations.

But the truth of the matter is, God calls us to a higher standard...and He wants us to be meek in the midst of our situations.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart (the KJV says, for I am meek and lowly in heart), and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

Our perfect example was meek in the midst of every situation He lived through...so why is it so hard for us to be meek?

Because we let our pride get in the way.

I don't know about you, but I don't want my heart to be filled with all this ugliness anymore...